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Of no consequence: I was not a very good student in HS in my first year; failed two subjects early twice but got promoted
Jan 2, 2022 18:39:12   #
rumitoid
 
What I most remember in Grammar School (our term for Elementary) in my Catholic parochial education, were the many slaps at the back of my head by a nun for staring out the window; there wasn't any attractive scenery to distract anyone. But there was the sky and clouds and not being where I sat. The slaps did not reform me; I got a few from the Jesuit brothers and priests in my early years in HS. (Today I often wonder if I was possibly on the Autism Scale, which seems to fit descriptions of the upper end of the spectrum as we know it today.) I spent most of life then inside my head. My dreams and fantasies occupied my thinking, more so than any relationships. Novels were my true home.

Another attribute, or flaw, in the Autism spectrum was my deep immersion into the stories I read. Totally absorbed. To leave my reading was like having been deeply submerged, struggling up for air from a few hundred feet. Yet I dove deep. The J.D. Salinger Novel and his many short stories were my family. My younger sister Bernadette Phoebe Caulfield, loving sister of Holden in Catcher in the Rye. (Until she died at 47 from ovarian cancer, that 's what I called her and she loved it.) My older brother was Seymore, the Oldest of the Glass family; he was too perfect for a nickname. Looking back at how absorbed I was in these writings was a little scary. I do not like being so out of control.

By Senior Year, I was in the Dean's List each semester. My Track and Field skills got me three scholarship offers, and I choose out of state University of Maryland. Nor wise. I was totally out of my element, and I wasn't The Star as in HS. And looking back I see that I was a tad crazy. I wanted to go insane but thought I wasn't smart enough. What to do? So my second year I gave up my scholarship and deferment to be drafted. Not really sure that my induction into service stabilized my brain, though it seemed to help. No more slaps in the back of the head at least.

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Jan 2, 2022 18:42:54   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
What I most remember in Grammar School (our term for Elementary) in my parochial education of my Catholic education, were the many slaps at the back of my head by a nun for staring out the window; there wasn't any attractive scenery to distract anyone. But there was the sky and clouds and not being where I sat. The slaps did not reform me; I got a few from the Jesuit brothers and priests in my early years in HS. (Today I often wonder if I was possibly on the Autism Scale, which seems to fit descriptions of the upper end of the spectrum as we know it today.) I spent most of life then inside my head. My dreams and fantasies occupied my thinking, more so than any relationships. Novels were my true home.

Another attribute, or flaw, in the Autism spectrum was my deep immersion into the stories I read. Totally absorbed. To leave my reading was like having been deeply submerged, struggling up for air from a few hundred feet. Yet I dove deep. The J.D. Salinger Novel and his many short stories were my family. My younger sister Bernadette Phoebe Caulfield, loving sister of Holden in Catcher in the Rye. (Until she died at 47 from ovarian cancer, that 's what I called her and she loved it.) My older brother was Seymore, the Oldest of the Glass family; he was too perfect for a nickname. Looking back at how absorbed I was in these writings was a little scary. I do not like being so out of control.

By Senior Year, I was in the Dean's List each semester. My Track and Field skills got me three scholarship offers, and I choose out of state University of Maryland. Nor wise. I was totally out of my element, and I wasn't The Star as in HS. And looking back I see that I was a tad crazy. I wanted to go insane but thought I wasn't smart enough. What to do? So my second year I gave up my scholarship and deferment to be drafted. Not really sure that my induction into service stabilized my brain, though it seemed to help. No more slaps in the back of the head at least.
What I most remember in Grammar School (our term f... (show quote)


Did you have any parental support at home for your school work ?

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Jan 2, 2022 19:13:47   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
Did you have any parental support at home for your school work ?


Great Question: No. And none for even brushing my teeth, though my dad was a great material provider.

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Jan 3, 2022 18:58:58   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
Great Question: No. And none for even brushing my teeth, though my dad was a great material provider.


The support my siblings and I got at home was generally a severe beating around report card time. My older brother and me, I think were actually pretty intelligent, because sometimes we did really well. The potential was there, but both my parents were too stressed out with work and way too many kids to raise to help us when we needed it. Then there were the episodes when Dad abandoned us and we were pulled out of school, sent to another school, until Dad found his way home. That hurt my younger siblings more.

I only had two kids. They were pretty smart, but my wife and I were there when they had problems. My youngest lost 2 years of reading, when our local school abandoned phonics. I caught it accidentally, that she couldn't read. She was memorizing whole pages by the pictures. That pissed me off. It took a long time to correct, but at least we were there to do it.

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Jan 4, 2022 02:55:42   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
The support my siblings and I got at home was generally a severe beating around report card time. My older brother and me, I think were actually pretty intelligent, because sometimes we did really well. The potential was there, but both my parents were too stressed out with work and way too many kids to raise to help us when we needed it. Then there were the episodes when Dad abandoned us and we were pulled out of school, sent to another school, until Dad found his way home. That hurt my younger siblings more.

I only had two kids. They were pretty smart, but my wife and I were there when they had problems. My youngest lost 2 years of reading, when our local school abandoned phonics. I caught it accidentally, that she couldn't read. She was memorizing whole pages by the pictures. That pissed me off. It took a long time to correct, but at least we were there to do it.
The support my siblings and I got at home was gene... (show quote)


My God, your openness about your past is so refreshing...and heartbreaking. Then your honesty about your child was so frank. You are a good man, my friend.

How many of us got lost in the shuffle of children that we should be seen and not heard? My father was an excellent provider if it had to do with material things, not so much with care, love and attention. This is just what he knew from living in relative poverty of a large family from the Old Country Irish household.

Like you, I later learned that I was not stupid; the strictness in my home had left me timid and without confidence. It was not until I found some success in Track and field that I started to do much better in school starting in Junior year of HS. Good grades were not nearly as important as being obedient...but were still worth a spanking. May the New Year for you and yours be a perpetual blessing.

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Jan 4, 2022 19:28:56   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
My God, your openness about your past is so refreshing...and heartbreaking. Then your honesty about your child was so frank. You are a good man, my friend.

How many of us got lost in the shuffle of children that we should be seen and not heard? My father was an excellent provider if it had to do with material things, not so much with care, love and attention. This is just what he knew from living in relative poverty of a large family from the Old Country Irish household.

Like you, I later learned that I was not stupid; the strictness in my home had left me timid and without confidence. It was not until I found some success in Track and field that I started to do much better in school starting in Junior year of HS. Good grades were not nearly as important as being obedient...but were still worth a spanking. May the New Year for you and yours be a perpetual blessing.
My God, your openness about your past is so refres... (show quote)




You have a great New Year. The older I get the more I realize that all the joy in life comes from those around us. Enjoy your Family and Friends. Spend as much time as you can with them. You never get that time back if you waste it.

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Jan 6, 2022 00:20:27   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
You have a great New Year. The older I get the more I realize that all the joy in life comes from those around us. Enjoy your Family and Friends. Spend as much time as you can with them. You never get that time back if you waste it.


That hits home. Thank you. What you said has become clearer to me in the last year. Family is priceless.

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Jan 6, 2022 18:37:05   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
That hits home. Thank you. What you said has become clearer to me in the last year. Family is priceless.


I know families where brothers and sisters haven't spoken in decades. That is a foolish waste of precious time. I also knew ex wives and ex husbands who lived next door to one another with new spouses and got along great. What do I know ?

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Jan 6, 2022 20:15:01   #
rumitoid
 
son of witless wrote:
I know families where brothers and sisters haven't spoken in decades. That is a foolish waste of precious time. I also knew ex wives and ex husbands who lived next door to one another with new spouses and got along great. What do I know ?


Funny. We humans are a strange mix.

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Jan 7, 2022 10:15:33   #
son of witless
 
rumitoid wrote:
Funny. We humans are a strange mix.


I am in the same age group now as my older relatives were when I was a kid. I saw how old people acted in various situations. Most of it I didn't get as a kid, and now I do. I had a lot of good and bad examples to learn from. One of the things I now realize, that I didn't then is the sadness that comes when you outlive so many of your friends and family. I used to think that living almost forever had to be great. I am not ready to go just yet, but I do not want to be the last one of my generation in the family left. That much I have figured out. Yes humans are quite strange.

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