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Chuckle - The Sgt. Major
Sep 28, 2021 19:58:41   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the Sgt. Major. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the Sgt. Major. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”

🤗🤗🤗🤗

Reply
Sep 28, 2021 20:11:48   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the Sgt. Major. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the Sgt. Major. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”

🤗🤗🤗🤗
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street draggin... (show quote)


Lorena Bobbitt would be proud.

Reply
Sep 29, 2021 17:20:49   #
elledee
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the Sgt. Major. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the Sgt. Major. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”

🤗🤗🤗🤗
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street draggin... (show quote)


Now that was a really good joke....man you killed it...thanks for posting

Reply
 
 
Sep 29, 2021 19:06:27   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the Sgt. Major. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the Sgt. Major. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”

🤗🤗🤗🤗
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street draggin... (show quote)



What size will you be going for?

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, where his "manhood" was mangled, and torn from his body.

His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the procedure, since it was considered cosmetic surgery.

The doctor said that the cost would be $3,500 for a "small," $6,500 for a "medium," and $14,000 for a "large."

Rabbi Bernstein was sure that his wife and he would want at the least a medium... and perhaps even a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

The rabbi called his wife on the phone, and explained their options.

When the doctor came back into the room, he found the rabbi slouched over in the chair looking quite dejected.

"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

"She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

Reply
Sep 30, 2021 08:38:24   #
TexaCan Loc: Heart in W Texas - feet on the beach in Al.
 
dtucker300 wrote:
What size will you be going for?

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, where his "manhood" was mangled, and torn from his body.

His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the procedure, since it was considered cosmetic surgery.

The doctor said that the cost would be $3,500 for a "small," $6,500 for a "medium," and $14,000 for a "large."

Rabbi Bernstein was sure that his wife and he would want at the least a medium... and perhaps even a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

The rabbi called his wife on the phone, and explained their options.

When the doctor came back into the room, he found the rabbi slouched over in the chair looking quite dejected.

"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

"She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
b What size will you be going for? /b br br Rab... (show quote)


Size doesn’t matter after all!

Reply
Oct 5, 2021 02:40:18   #
newbear Loc: New York
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the Sgt. Major. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the Sgt. Major. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”

🤗🤗🤗🤗
The Sgt. Major was walking down the street draggin... (show quote)


Some attempt at humour, bwahahahah!

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