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Armed Forces Qualifications
Jul 17, 2021 20:07:03   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
Armed Forces Qualifications

I 'm over 60 now (actually 77 today) and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old folks . You shouldn't be able to
join until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old folks only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more
than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them
into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote
control?" !

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old person
, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time
he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60
would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old folks get up early every morning to pee.

If old folks are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial
number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old folks . We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also
developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I
can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er..one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without
the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out.
He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food
particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda
Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about
life before sending them off to possible death.

Let us old folks track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Share this with your senior friends.

Reply
Jul 17, 2021 20:24:54   #
albertk
 
Happy Birthday Oldsailor! Many more!!!

Reply
Jul 17, 2021 20:28:25   #
American Vet
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Armed Forces Qualifications

I 'm over 60 now (actually 77 today) and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old folks . You shouldn't be able to
join until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old folks only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more
than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them
into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote
control?" !

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old person
, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time
he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60
would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old folks get up early every morning to pee.

If old folks are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial
number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old folks . We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also
developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I
can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er..one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without
the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out.
He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food
particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda
Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about
life before sending them off to possible death.

Let us old folks track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Share this with your senior friends.
Armed Forces Qualifications br br I 'm over 60 no... (show quote)



Reply
 
 
Jul 17, 2021 21:41:37   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Armed Forces Qualifications

I 'm over 60 now (actually 77 today) and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old folks . You shouldn't be able to
join until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old folks only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more
than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them
into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote
control?" !

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old person
, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time
he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60
would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old folks get up early every morning to pee.

If old folks are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial
number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old folks . We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also
developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I
can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er..one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without
the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out.
He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food
particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda
Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about
life before sending them off to possible death.

Let us old folks track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Share this with your senior friends.
Armed Forces Qualifications br br I 'm over 60 no... (show quote)


Nope, wouldn't work. Know why? Tell old folks to go jump in a fire, and those that tried to get them to do it would find THEMSELVES nice and toasty in short order. Tell older people to invade somewhere, giving them the ole patriotic duty crap - and they'll want to see proof for justifying the invasion, ask about the veracity of intelligence on the area, want to know the rules of engagement before they ever leave - and want to know the exit plan.

Kids are dumb as a bunch of rocks, you can talk them into doing anything.

Reply
Jul 18, 2021 14:31:43   #
EmilyD
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Armed Forces Qualifications

I 'm over 60 now (actually 77 today) and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old folks . You shouldn't be able to
join until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old folks only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more
than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them
into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote
control?" !

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old person
, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time
he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60
would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old folks get up early every morning to pee.

If old folks are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial
number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old folks . We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also
developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I
can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er..one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without
the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out.
He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food
particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda
Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about
life before sending them off to possible death.

Let us old folks track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Share this with your senior friends.
Armed Forces Qualifications br br I 'm over 60 no... (show quote)


Happy Birthday, Oldsailor! 🍰🎂🎈✨

77 is considered young these days!

Thanks for the post - good food for thought...but I think I'll pass on joining up, thank you very much! 😳

Reply
Jul 19, 2021 12:16:40   #
elledee
 
Excellent post thanks for sharing....77 and sharp as a tack....Happy birthday and God bless you for your service to my beloved America

Reply
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