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Quotes on golf...
Jun 5, 2021 12:37:08   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
1. Three over today: One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool..
~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett

2. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula and I took a 7 to do that.
~ Sports Writer Jim Murray

3. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play a bad lie.
~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle

4. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Actor Kevin Costner

5. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

6. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

7. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Tom Weiskopf

8. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered .
~ Lord Robertson

9. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

10. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

11. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus

12. The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham

13. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope

14. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
~ Henny Youngman

15. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball
~ Jack Lemmon

16. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husband’s work.
~ Lee Trevino

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Jun 7, 2021 22:11:09   #
Smedley_buzkill
 
slatten49 wrote:
1. Three over today: One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool..
~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett

2. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula and I took a 7 to do that.
~ Sports Writer Jim Murray

3. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play a bad lie.
~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle

4. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Actor Kevin Costner

5. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

6. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

7. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Tom Weiskopf

8. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered .
~ Lord Robertson

9. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

10. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

11. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus

12. The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham

13. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
~ Bob Hope

14. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
~ Henny Youngman

15. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball
~ Jack Lemmon

16. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husband’s work.
~ Lee Trevino
1. Three over today: One over a house, one over a ... (show quote)

I like the last one. Reminds me someone asked me if I paid my divorce settlement. I said "Of course. I was afraid she'd come back if I didn't."

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Jun 7, 2021 23:20:16   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Smedley_buzkill wrote:
I like the last one. Reminds me someone asked me if I paid my divorce settlement. I said "Of course. I was afraid she'd come back if I didn't."

She ain't comin' back to ya, Smedley. You're too good for her.

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Jun 8, 2021 19:18:23   #
crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of NYC & Rhode Island
 
Smedley_buzkill wrote:
I like the last one. Reminds me someone asked me if I paid my divorce settlement. I said "Of course. I was afraid she'd come back if I didn't."


Will Rogers -“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”

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