Massachusetts...Lewis Black on Boston traffic: “The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling, ‘The British are coming! The British are coming!'”
Michigan...What do you call 40 guys watching the Super Bowl on television? The Detroit Lions.
Minnesota...What are the four seasons in Minnesota? Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
Mississippi...How do you know when you’re staying in a Mississippi hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve gotta leak in my sink,” and the person at the front desk says, “Go ahead.”
Missouri...A man from Kansas City walks into a bar and asks, “Wanna hear a joke about people from St. Louis?”
The bartender says, “Listen, pal, I’m from St. Louis, and I won’t appreciate it. The man sitting next to you is 265 pounds, and he’s from St. Louis too. And the bouncer, that huge guy there, is also from St. Louis. So do you still want to tell that joke?”
“No,” says the guy from Kansas City. “Not if I have to explain it three times.”
Montana...Four women are driving across the country together, each one from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Montana, and California. Shortly after the trip begins, the woman from Idaho pulls potatoes from her bag and throws them out the window. “What are you doing?” asks the Nebraskan.
“We have so many of these things in Idaho, I’m sick of looking at them.”
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska pulls ears of corn from her bag and tosses them from the window. “What are you doing?” asks the gal from Montana.
“We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I’m sick of looking at them.”
Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out.
Nebraska...Just keep driving. When something changes, you’ll know you’re out of Nebraska.
New Hampshire...The state motto is “Live Free or Die,” which appears on license plates made by prisoners. —Jon Stewart on The Daily Show
New Jersey...As you know, the bear hunting season in New Jersey is a little bit different. First, they shoot the bear and then they bury it in a construction site. —Late Show with David Letterman
Michigan- If it involves the lions directly, it aint a joke. Try this: A man from the South (don't matter where) says, "Michigan, eh? We all know winter, what do you do for fun in the summer?" Michigander says, "If it falls on a weekend we have a cookout".
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