Some Senior Thoughts I Hope Bring A Smile
Feb 16, 2021 23:31:08 #
dtucker300
Loc: Vista, CA
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an i***t.
At my age, I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. I only have 14 to go.
Anybody else do a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web?
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Not me! They hadn’t even invented shag carpet when I was young.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? NOPE?!
Went to school in Canada and Michigan. When it was below freezing we skated to school on the street!
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
They say that it’s weird being the same age as old people. I wouldn’t know - I am only 87.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m old.
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember - - - Don’t sing in the shower!
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an i***t.
At my age, I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. I only have 14 to go.
Anybody else do a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web?
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Not me! They hadn’t even invented shag carpet when I was young.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? NOPE?!
Went to school in Canada and Michigan. When it was below freezing we skated to school on the street!
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
They say that it’s weird being the same age as old people. I wouldn’t know - I am only 87.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m old.
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember - - - Don’t sing in the shower!
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Feb 16, 2021 23:38:13 #
Feb 17, 2021 08:48:42 #
Feb 17, 2021 14:18:38 #
dtucker300 wrote:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spyin... (show quote)
Enjoyed all, thank you.
Feb 18, 2021 19:46:20 #
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