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Laughing matters: The avid golfer
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Jul 31, 2014 21:30:52   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
slatten49 wrote:
I'm offended. I share everything with Salty, equally. :thumbup:

Alex, maybe not so much! :lol:

Where is 'your' Alex, BTW?


You are such a glutton, I feared Salty would be short changed on the snacks.

I do not know where my Alex is. He has been unusually quiet.

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Jul 31, 2014 21:39:51   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
Geez, keep up. I put a BIG snack up for you all.


The 'snacks' delivery is what I was addressing, AuntiE. :roll: When can we expect the jalapenos and lobsters? 8-)

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Jul 31, 2014 23:21:46   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
slatten49 wrote:
The 'snacks' delivery is what I was addressing, AuntiE. :roll: When can we expect the jalapenos and lobsters? 8-)


The first one was jalapeƱos with cream cheese filling wrapped in bacon. Duh :x

The second was Crab claws.

You are truly an unappreciative guest. :thumbdown: :hunf:

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Jul 31, 2014 23:43:24   #
rumitoid
 
slatten49 wrote:
There was a preacher who was a avid golfer. Every chance he got, he could be found on the golf course, swinging away. It was an obsession.

One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.

The preacher was in a quandry as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him.

He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.

An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."

God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup, three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture-perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.

The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought You were going to punish him?!"

God smiled. "I did...who is he going to tell about it?"
There was a preacher who was a avid golfer. Every... (show quote)


This joke is in my top five, but you tell it far better than I do. Another favorite, which very few get, is about the Buddhist Monk in his backyard, prostate and repeating, "I am nothing...I am nothing...I am nothing." Along comes a Catholic priest who joins him, also repeating the mantra. A while later a Christian from OPP arrives and quickly joins the two others, devotedly repeating, "I am nothing...I am nothing...I am nothing.

The gardener soon arrives and joins the group. The Christian from OPP nudges the priest and monk. He smiles and says, "Look who thinks he's nothing."

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Aug 1, 2014 00:36:35   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
AuntiE wrote:
Indeed :D :twisted:

If Boot becomes to greedy with the snack, let me know. I will find one for you...alone. :-D :-P


No AuntiE, he and I share and share alike.

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Aug 1, 2014 00:37:51   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
AuntiE wrote:
You are such a glutton, I feared Salty would be short changed on the snacks.

I do not know where my Alex is. He has been unusually quiet.


Perhaps his Master Chief has chores for him.

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Aug 1, 2014 00:40:37   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
No AuntiE, he and I share and share alike.


He can be gluttonous and take advantage of your good nature. :-D

Speaking of sharing. You need to obtain a pair of binoculars for him for November. :oops: :-o :oops: :shock: :-D

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Aug 1, 2014 00:54:37   #
PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.
 
AuntiE wrote:
He can be gluttonous and take advantage of your good nature. :-D

Speaking of sharing. You need to obtain a pair of binoculars for him for November. :oops: :-o :oops: :shock: :-D


Having 20/10 vision, he would have no need of binoculars.

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Aug 1, 2014 01:00:02   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
Old_Gringo wrote:
Having 20/10 vision, he would have no need of binoculars.


I was unaware of his visual acuity. Certainly provides for subtlety and dignity. :-D :oops: :shock:

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Aug 1, 2014 07:11:29   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
The first one was jalapeƱos with cream cheese filling wrapped in bacon. Duh :x

The second was Crab claws.

You are truly an unappreciative guest. :thumbdown: :hunf:


I'd prefer lobster over having crabs. :shock:

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Aug 1, 2014 10:46:44   #
davecollins
 
slatten49 wrote:
You are either twice as good, or twice as lucky as I! :lol:


I think a hole in one is more luck than skill, but either way it's a remarkable feeling when you get one.

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Aug 1, 2014 11:16:38   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
I was unaware of his visual acuity. Certainly provides for subtlety and dignity. :-D :oops: :shock:


That describes me to a 'T'..... subtle and dignified. :wink: :lol:

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Aug 1, 2014 11:18:44   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
He can be gluttonous and take advantage of your good nature. :-D

Speaking of sharing. You need to obtain a pair of binoculars for him for November. :oops: :-o :oops: :shock: :-D


I keep binoculars in our motorhome. :thumbup:

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Aug 1, 2014 19:05:49   #
AuntiE Loc: 46th Least Free State
 
slatten49 wrote:
I keep binoculars in our motorhome. :thumbup:


Probably for spying on your neighbors. ;-) :mrgreen:

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Aug 1, 2014 19:45:07   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
I keep binoculars in our motorhome. :thumbup:


So, where do you keep the telescope? :roll:

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