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Chuckles
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Jul 17, 2014 18:30:13   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
I looked up the word glutton. His picture was next to the word. :mrgreen:


How did I look? :-D Was my hair in place? 8-)

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Jul 17, 2014 18:37:21   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
slatten49 wrote:
The Devil made me do it. :roll: :oops:


Did Sytmie's evil genie attack your computer? You know it has happened to me before. Very sneaky the evil genie.

Reply
Jul 17, 2014 18:39:00   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
slatten49 wrote:
How did I look? :-D Was my hair in place? 8-)


Not one of your better pictures. There were food particles on your chin and on your shirt. The napkin tucked in your shirt was adorable, even with the stains. :twisted: :-o :lol:

Reply
 
 
Jul 17, 2014 18:44:21   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
Did Sytmie's evil genie attack your computer? You know it has happened to me before. Very sneaky the evil genie.


Is Sytmie related to Stymie? In any event, it must have been the evil genie. He/she can be a devil, at times. :mrgreen:

Gotta run.

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Jul 17, 2014 19:09:41   #
alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa
 
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
"Hello - How are you!
We've been waiting for you!
Good to see you."


When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled 'Love', and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.

"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.

And then I won the multi-state lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.

And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

" Czechoslovakia ..."





Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry...

There will be Hell to pay later!

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 02:58:56   #
Alicia Loc: NYC
 
slatten49 wrote:
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Don't argue with an i***t, people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

When I was young, we used to go 'skinny dipping'. Now, I just 'chunky dunk'.

Wouldn't you know it...brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to ... (show quote)

*******************
Terrific collection. Sounds like they might be original. :roll: :wink: :wink:

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 03:01:31   #
Alicia Loc: NYC
 
lpnmajor wrote:
No, all the bigfeets moved to Arizona.

************************
And keep forgetting to NOT put them in their mouths.

Reply
 
 
Jul 18, 2014 03:05:03   #
Alicia Loc: NYC
 
rumitoid wrote:
Love this! Here is a little story for you as a thank you note:
"Former president Ronald Reagan was a master at using self-effacing humor. In his bid for the Presidency in 1980 his age appeared to be his biggest obstacle to overcome. He attacked the problem with self-effacing humor. He would joke about his age all the time which then turned age into a non-issue with the public. He told a group of reporters once, 'Thomas Jefferson once said, 'One should not worry about chronological age compared to the ability to perform the task.' . . . Ever since Thomas Jefferson told me that I stopped worrying about my age.'"
Love this! Here is a little story for you as a tha... (show quote)

******************
Wonderful comment. Still laughing. Thanks. :roll: :roll: :wink:

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 06:51:42   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
alex wrote:
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
"Hello - How are you!
We've been waiting for you!
Good to see you."


When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled 'Love', and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.

"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.

And then I won the multi-state lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.

And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

" Czechoslovakia ..."





Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry...

There will be Hell to pay later!
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she ... (show quote)



:thumbup: :lol:

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 07:08:42   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Alicia wrote:
*******************
Terrific collection. Sounds like they might be original. :roll: :wink: :wink:


I wish I could claim credit for such creative thoughts or sayings. I am just sharing someone else's. I am just a simple Texan/Marine. :roll: :mrgreen:

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 07:14:12   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
alex wrote:
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
"Hello - How are you!
We've been waiting for you!
Good to see you."




When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled 'Love', and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.

"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.

And then I won the multi-state lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.

And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

" Czechoslovakia ..."





Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry...

There will be Hell to pay later!
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she ... (show quote)



It appears as if you have had some experience with women, Alex. :wink: This is one for the books. :arrow: Loved it!

Reply
 
 
Jul 18, 2014 10:05:50   #
alex Loc: michigan now imperial beach californa
 
slatten49 wrote:
It appears as if you have had some experience with women, Alex. :wink: This is one for the books. :arrow: Loved it!


my niece sent that to me

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Jul 18, 2014 14:45:08   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
Not one of your better pictures. There were food particles on your chin and on your shirt. The napkin tucked in your shirt was adorable, even with the stains. :twisted: :-o :lol:


That was, appropriately enough, a wash-cloth. I had no napkin or bib :lol: available to me at the time. I picked the particles off my chin and shirt after the photo was taken. :wink:

Waste not, want not! :thumbup:

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 14:58:14   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
slatten49 wrote:
That was, appropriately enough, a wash-cloth. I had no napkin or bib :lol: available to me at the time. I picked the particles off my chin and shirt after the photo was taken. :wink:

Waste not, want not! :thumbup:



Aha...my father-in-law reincarnated in TX. He used your last statement frequently.

Reply
Jul 18, 2014 15:59:53   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
Aha...my father-in-law reincarnated in TX. He used your last statement frequently.


:shock: Reincarnated as your father-in-law? :roll:

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