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Chuckles
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Jul 16, 2014 07:11:18   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

When I was young, we used to go 'skinny dipping'. Now, I just 'chunky dunk'.

Wouldn't you know it...brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

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Jul 16, 2014 07:42:32   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

When I was young, we used to go 'skinny dipping'. Now, I just 'chunky dunk'.

Wouldn't you know it...brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to ... (show quote)


Yeah, now days it takes me as long to get ready for sex as it does to get ready for church. I also am prone to falling asleep half way through, just like in church.

When I was young, I acted without stopping to think. Now, I have to stop what I'm doing, in order to think. I also have to think about how much effort it will take to do something and I often stop right there.

When I was young, I could eat whatever I wanted, without fear of consequences. Now, I have to consider the consequences, before deciding what to eat.

My heart doctor told me that I had to stop drinking, smoking and eating red meat, or I was going to die. He said I had to start eating healthy and exercising, or I was going to die. I asked him if he knew any doctors that participated in assisted suicide.

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Jul 16, 2014 07:52:37   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
Yeah, now days it takes me as long to get ready for sex as it does to get ready for church. I also am prone to falling asleep half way through, just like in church.

When I was young, I acted without stopping to think. Now, I have to stop what I'm doing, in order to think. I also have to think about how much effort it will take to do something and I often stop right there.

When I was young, I could eat whatever I wanted, without fear of consequences. Now, I have to consider the consequences, before deciding what to eat.

My heart doctor told me that I had to stop drinking, smoking and eating red meat, or I was going to die. He said I had to start eating healthy and exercising, or I was going to die. I asked him if he knew any doctors that participated in assisted suicide.
Yeah, now days it takes me as long to get ready fo... (show quote)


The Sgt. Major has often hinted at considering doing just that, for me. Assisted suicide, that is! :shock:

Great follow-up, Doc. :thumbup: :-D

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Jul 16, 2014 08:03:14   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
The Sgt. Major has often hinted at considering doing just that, for me. Assisted suicide, that is! :shock:

Great follow-up, Doc. :thumbup: :-D


We'll have to move to Oregon, where assisted suicide is legal. I've lived in the Pacific Northwest and it made me want to kill myself. Huh, now it makes sense.

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Jul 16, 2014 08:08:57   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
We'll have to move to Oregon, where assisted suicide is legal. I've lived in the Pacific Northwest and it made me want to kill myself. Huh, now it makes sense.


Too scary. :shock: Isn't that where Sasquatch may live? :lol:

I don't think the Sgt. Major wants to deal with possibly two hairy beasts. :wink:

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Jul 16, 2014 08:13:45   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Too scary. :shock: Isn't that where Sasquatch may live? :lol:

I don't think the Sgt. Major wants to deal with possibly two hairy beasts. :wink:


No, all the bigfeets moved to Arizona.

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Jul 16, 2014 08:25:21   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
No, all the bigfeets moved to Arizona.


Great...Arizona is looking for an influx of new citizens.:roll:

I doubt Sasquatches are registered citizens, though. :lol:

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Jul 16, 2014 08:47:03   #
MrEd Loc: Georgia
 
slatten49 wrote:
Great...Arizona is looking for an influx of new citizens.:roll:

I doubt Sasquatches are registered citizens, though. :lol:




That's never stopped people form voting before.........

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Jul 16, 2014 09:15:56   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
Great...Arizona is looking for an influx of new citizens.:roll:

I doubt Sasquatches are registered citizens, though. :lol:


They'll just blend right in then, won't they. :roll: :wink:

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Jul 16, 2014 12:59:27   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Searching wrote:
They'll just blend right in then, won't they. :roll: :wink:


Maybe, with regard to legal status. But, I don't think a Sasquatch will 'blend in' easily anywhere. :-D

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Jul 16, 2014 13:07:04   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
Maybe, with regard to legal status. But, I don't think a Sasquatch will 'blend in' easily anywhere. :-D


A well behaved one might!! "I" can envision it....and that's my story and I'm stickin' to it, yes I am. :roll: Guess that must mean I really am a liberal!! ;)

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Jul 16, 2014 13:15:59   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Searching wrote:
A well behaved one might!! "I" can envision it....and that's my story and I'm stickin' to it, yes I am. :roll: Guess that must mean I really am a liberal!! ;)


If you are, that speaks well as to liberals...IMHO!

Unfortunately, not all are so sweet and reasonable as you. :wink:

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Jul 16, 2014 13:32:52   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
If you are, that speaks well as to liberals...IMHO!

Unfortunately, not all are so sweet and reasonable as you. :wink:


:oops: In total transparency, "sweet and reasonable" are not always the descriptive words thrown about to describe my personality!!

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Jul 16, 2014 13:44:51   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Searching wrote:
:oops: In total transparency, "sweet and reasonable" are not always the descriptive words thrown about to describe my personality!!


In total transparency, I am what is commonly known as a 'bullsh*t artist'. :oops: :lol:

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Jul 16, 2014 14:01:08   #
Searching Loc: Rural Southwest VA
 
slatten49 wrote:
In total transparency, I am what is commonly known as a 'bullsh*t artist'. :oops: :lol:


They say confession is good for the soul... :lol: Anything else you want to confess to? :roll:

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