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A few laughts
Jun 10, 2020 20:36:44   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides

Reply
Jun 10, 2020 20:43:28   #
Carol Kelly
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)


These are laugh out loud funny.

Reply
Jun 10, 2020 20:59:07   #
GoCubs Loc: Earth
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)


You never disappoint, DT. Thanks again.

Reply
 
 
Jun 10, 2020 21:23:28   #
Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)



Reply
Jun 10, 2020 22:34:40   #
Weasel Loc: In the Great State Of Indiana!!
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)


Good ones all

Reply
Jun 10, 2020 22:57:33   #
Blade_Runner Loc: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)



Reply
Jun 11, 2020 06:39:37   #
Big dog
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)


👍👍👍👍🤪😜🤣🥊

Reply
 
 
Jun 11, 2020 11:04:19   #
bahmer
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)


All good thanks for the laughs.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Reply
Jun 11, 2020 12:36:48   #
Tug484
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all-clear. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now! In 20 years our country will be run by people 'homeschooled' by day drinkers…

This v***s has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this c****av***s and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides
Today is the National 'Home school' Tornado Drill.... (show quote)



Too funny.
I need out of here.
I have one dog that either stares at me day and night or is up in my face.
The staring at me gets on my nerves.

Reply
Jun 11, 2020 13:39:38   #
Mike Easterday
 
Excellent! Thanks for the laughs!!!

Reply
Jun 11, 2020 22:59:09   #
elledee
 
lmfao....thanks for posting

Reply
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