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Classic Comments on The French
May 19, 2020 10:40:54   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
Classic Comments on The French

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
—Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." -P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine
out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
—Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.
After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
—Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
—David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
—Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
—Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
—Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
—Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman
is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
— the description was, "Never shot. Dropped once'."
-Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
-Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried."
—Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
—John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings
that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France
are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP),
Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at
the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.


| Reply
May 19, 2020 10:46:01   #
Seth
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Classic Comments on The French

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
—Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." -P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine
out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
—Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.
After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
—Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
—David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
—Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
—Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
—Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
—Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman
is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
— the description was, "Never shot. Dropped once'."
-Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
-Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried."
—Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
—John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings
that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France
are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP),
Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at
the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

b Classic Comments on The French br br "Fra... (show quote)


Spot-on, awesome collection. Thanks!

| Reply
May 19, 2020 10:56:27   #
Capt-jack Loc: Home
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Classic Comments on The French

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
—Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." -P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine
out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
—Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.
After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
—Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
—David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
—Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
—Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
—Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
—Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman
is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
— the description was, "Never shot. Dropped once'."
-Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
-Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried."
—Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
—John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings
that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France
are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP),
Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at
the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

b Classic Comments on The French br br "Fra... (show quote)


Never a truer word. Good job.

| Reply
May 19, 2020 11:18:57   #
Kevyn
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Classic Comments on The French

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
—Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." -P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine
out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
—Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.
After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
—Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
—David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
—Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
—Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
—Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
—Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman
is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
— the description was, "Never shot. Dropped once'."
-Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
-Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried."
—Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
—John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings
that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France
are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP),
Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at
the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

b Classic Comments on The French br br "Fra... (show quote)
Just keep in mind if it wasn’t for the French you would be the subject of the British Queen.



| Reply
May 19, 2020 11:25:13   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
Kevyn wrote:
Just keep in mind if it wasn’t for the French you would be the subject of the British Queen.


Kevy...why is it that ALL of you liberals are not smart enough to recognize humor.
It takes intelligence to have a good sense of humor and a quick mind....you liberals don't have it.

| Reply
May 19, 2020 11:32:31   #
GoCubs Loc: Earth
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Classic Comments on The French

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes." —Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
—General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
—Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
—Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
—Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." —Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
—Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than
sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." -P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine
out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
—John McCain, U.S. Senator

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
—Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq.
After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
—Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
—David Letterman

"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
—Ted Nugent.

"War without France would be like ... uh... World War II."

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
—Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
—Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
—Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman
is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
—Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day
— the description was, "Never shot. Dropped once'."
-Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
-Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried."
—Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining."
—John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings
that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France
are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP),
Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at
the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army
garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

b Classic Comments on The French br br "Fra... (show quote)


Those are great - especially the Patton one. Thanks.

| Reply
May 19, 2020 13:48:10   #
Kevyn
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Kevy...why is it that ALL of you liberals are not smart enough to recognize humor.
It takes intelligence to have a good sense of humor and a quick mind....you liberals don't have it.
Kevy...why is it that b ALL /b of you liberals a... (show quote)

Disparaging a great nation and its people is far from humor, French resistance fighters showed courage as great and made sacrifices as dear as anyone else during the war. The French desperately tried to warn Bush against his folly in Iraq as they did our misadventure in Viet Nam and rather than learning from their experience we shrugged it off and had our asses handed to us. France has been as good an ally of ours when they disagreed with us as when they agree with us and have not acted against our interests. You don’t have a clue about humor, you helped Putin put a world class joke in the White House and don’t even realize it. And sadly the joke is at all of our expense.

| Reply
May 20, 2020 07:53:14   #
Kickaha Loc: Nebraska
 
Kevyn wrote:
Disparaging a great nation and its people is far from humor, French resistance fighters showed courage as great and made sacrifices as dear as anyone else during the war. The French desperately tried to warn Bush against his folly in Iraq as they did our misadventure in Viet Nam and rather than learning from their experience we shrugged it off and had our asses handed to us. France has been as good an ally of ours when they disagreed with us as when they agree with us and have not acted against our interests. You don’t have a clue about humor, you helped Putin put a world class joke in the White House and don’t even realize it. And sadly the joke is at all of our expense.
Disparaging a great nation and its people is far f... (show quote)


We ended up in Vietnam because the French needed us to bail them out. We would have been smarter if we had just left them to deal with Vietnam.

| Reply
May 20, 2020 09:43:04   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
Kickaha wrote:
We ended up in Vietnam because the French needed us to bail them out. We would have been smarter if we had just left them to deal with Vietnam.


Vietnam wanted their freedom from being a French Colony----just like our forefathers fought for freedom from England. Ho Che Mein asked us for help but we turned him down because France was an Allie of ours.

We should not have gone to war in Vietnam---I was there 3 times 65-69.

| Reply
May 20, 2020 09:50:22   #
Capt-jack Loc: Home
 
Kevyn wrote:
Just keep in mind if it wasn’t for the French you would be the subject of the British Queen.


Maybe so, but you would be chained in the hold.

| Reply
May 20, 2020 17:42:52   #
Mike Easterday
 
These are accurate of the French military!

| Reply
May 21, 2020 00:59:42   #
Auntie Dee
 
Kevyn wrote:
Disparaging a great nation and its people is far from humor, French resistance fighters showed courage as great and made sacrifices as dear as anyone else during the war. The French desperately tried to warn Bush against his folly in Iraq as they did our misadventure in Viet Nam and rather than learning from their experience we shrugged it off and had our asses handed to us. France has been as good an ally of ours when they disagreed with us as when they agree with us and have not acted against our interests. You don’t have a clue about humor, you helped Putin put a world class joke in the White House and don’t even realize it. And sadly the joke is at all of our expense.
Disparaging a great nation and its people is far f... (show quote)


You actually made some intelligent points until the last part where you are still trying to drum up interest for the Russian/Putin lie...that ship sunk last year or did you forget??

| Reply
May 21, 2020 01:04:58   #
Seth
 
Mike Easterday wrote:
These are accurate of the French military!


If you Google "Soldier of Surrender" you'll find an amusing made-up magazine cover for Soldier of Surrender: the official magazine of the French military .

| Reply
May 21, 2020 07:12:00   #
Kickaha Loc: Nebraska
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Vietnam wanted their freedom from being a French Colony----just like our forefathers fought for freedom from England. Ho Che Mein asked us for help but we turned him down because France was an Allie of ours.

We should not have gone to war in Vietnam---I was there 3 times 65-69.


Thank you for your service. I had relatives and friends who also served. I was still a little too young. Like many have said our military did a great job, but the politicians kept screwing things up.

| Reply
May 23, 2020 09:04:27   #
Capt-jack Loc: Home
 
Kevyn wrote:
Disparaging a great nation and its people is far from humor, French resistance fighters showed courage as great and made sacrifices as dear as anyone else during the war. The French desperately tried to warn Bush against his folly in Iraq as they did our misadventure in Viet Nam and rather than learning from their experience we shrugged it off and had our asses handed to us. France has been as good an ally of ours when they disagreed with us as when they agree with us and have not acted against our interests. You don’t have a clue about humor, you helped Putin put a world class joke in the White House and don’t even realize it. And sadly the joke is at all of our expense.
Disparaging a great nation and its people is far f... (show quote)


Yeah, that's why the Nazis took all of 3 days to take over France, but that was because it was raining.
I bought a French rifle that was almost new, the literature on it said "never used, dropped once"
Disparaging? You have the gall to use that word when every other word out of your mouth about
Trump is just that. MR. KKK

| Reply
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