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Jan 21, 2020 19:37:29   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
China’s Homowives are Becoming Unlikely Champions for Gay Rights
ChinaWire

After her marriage was over, just looking at a wedding photo would make Qiu Xuan feel awful. The 29-year-old, a video editor at a communications company in Guangzhou, could tell by the picture that she wasn’t half of a happy couple that day, even though she was the one wearing a white veil.

The photo shows the bride and g***m with their best man, who was standing in between them, h*****g one arm over the g***m’s shoulder, and leaning his head towards him. Qiu said her yearlong sexless and loveless marriage can be explained in that one image — her husband was in love with his best man, not her.

The term “beard” to describe a woman who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, to disguise her partner’s homosexuality has been used as slang in the United States for many decades.

But acknowledgement that such marriages even happen is a recent phenomena in China. In China, a “beard” is known straightforwardly as a 同妻(Tongqi), or ““homowife”—the abbreviation of “the wife of a homosexual” in Chinese.

There are millions of gay men married to women in China, academics believe. According to an estimate by Zhang Beichuan, one of the first Chinese scholars to study sexuality, China has 20 million male homosexuals of marriageable age — and 80% of them will marry a woman. In contrast, 15 to 20% of gay men in America have married heterosexual women.

The women in these marriages are quietly becoming an unlikely force in China’s nascent gay-rights movement. If men are free to openly have relationships with other men, sham marriages like theirs will no longer happen, they say. Being “homosexual is not wrong,” said Qiu in an interview. “What’s wrong is to marry a heterosexual to make a tragedy.”

Why China has millions of “homowives”

Liu Jie, a 25-year-old homosexual interior decorator from Shantou, Guangdong Province, has thought of entering into a gay-straight marriage, because, like many Chinese of marrying age, he’s under a lot of pressure from his parents. “They said they would have nothing to worry about in their lives once I got married. How can I come out of the closet to them?” Liu said.

“Among three ways of being an unfilial son, the most serious is to have no heir,” argued Mencius, an ancient Confucian philosopher. The idea is still ingrained in modern China; men are under social pressure to marry and produce a male heir to carry on the family line. Though new generations are more open-minded, many still believe that to marry and have children are the two most important things in life, whether they are gay or straight.

For women who unknowingly marry gay men, a divorce can be difficult to obtain, and can leave them much worse off financially. Qiu, the video editor, got a divorce and custody of her 9-month-old daughter after court mediation. Her husband agreed to pay alimony of 700 yuan, or $114, per month, which, according to Qiu, accounts for less than 20% of his monthly income. Qiu only agreed to the terms, she said, because her husband’s family refused to let her see her daughter otherwise.

Qiu said the court had rejected her appeal for further compensation, because she could not prove her husband had an extramarital affair. “He has never admitted he is gay, although everyone knows about that,” Qiu said.

“A person who has a spouse but cohabits with another person” is one of the circumstances listed in China’s marriage law that allows a husband or wife to file for divorce, and demand compensation from the other party, but in its judicial interpretation, the “another person” only refers to “the opposite sex.”

“If a man and a woman get a room [in the hotel], we can say it’s an extramarital affair; but if it is two men, we can say nothing,” said Liu, 35, a judge from Shenzhen who agreed to speak on the matter if he was identified only by his surname.

Growing awareness, and activism

Some women in China unknowingly married to a gay man are openly choosing to maintain a nominal marriage to give their children a stable family. Jiang Xinyi, a 24-year-old software engineer from Shanghai, who has been counseling women married to gay men since 2009, said this was a common alternative to divorce and separation. “They draw three ground rules for their husbands: Have sex [with their wives], take care of the family, and look after the child.”

Other arrangements are springing up as well — like the “cooperative marriage” or “xinghun,” in which a lesbian woman and gay man agree to marry to appease their parents.

Jiang first learned there were other women in similar marriages from China’s first homowives meeting in 2009. Then a university student, she found the women who had attended the meeting online and joined their chat group on QQ.

After watching other women share their ordeals and comfort each other in the chat group, Jiang volunteered to establish and operate new groups for newcomers.

Now Jiang runs three QQ chat groups, which have over 200 members in total, and a social media account on Weibo. She also helps these women get legal advice and speak out to the public. She named the volunteer organization Hibiscus Flower, which she said stands for tenacity and vitality.

“Homowives” and their supporters are getting more vocal about their own situations, and the need for China to become more accepting of homosexuality. Zhang Ziwei, a 27-year-old corporate secretary from Nanchang, southeast China’s Jiangxi Province, who dated a gay man three years ago, now manages a QQ chat group on the topic with more than one hundred members. She is t***slating two books — My Husband Is Gay and When Your Spouse Comes Out, written by Carol Grever, an American woman who married a gay man — into Chinese. After she finishes, she plans to send them to other women in her situation, because there are no such books in China.

One woman who was formerly married to a gay man, who calls herself “Little Delan,” dressed in a bridal gown to seek marriage at the Qixi Festival, China’s Valentines’ Day, in August, 2017 on the the streets of Quanzhou, the largest city in southeastern Fujian Province. She told Chinese media that, besides finding the right man, she wanted to raise awareness about homowives, and the need for China to offer homosexuals equal rights and legalize gay marriage.

A 51-year-old retired worker from Zhengzhou, central China’s Henan Province, who only wants to be identified by her online nickname, Aunt Moon, has been volunteering at Hibiscus Flower since she helped her niece get out of a gay-straight marriage four years ago.

“I don’t have a high literacy level, but I am gentle, and willing to talk,” said Aunt Moon, who has had volunteer experience at the Red Cross Society of China.

Aunt Moon (second from the right) and other marchers at a gay p***e parade

Three women married to gay men attended the last annual PF**G China meeting, the gay support group’s co-founder said. Their involvement isn’t without controversy. “Ideally we should stand in the same trench to fight against biases from the society,” co-founder Aqiang said. But being a “homowife is only a t***sitional identity — after they find a heterosexual man and get married, they are no longer homowives.” Aqiang said, “I don’t expect them to do much.”



“What they want is to solve their own problems,” he added. “They are often emotional, critical and angry. We can’t hear the husbands’ voices in their cases.”

Reply
Jan 21, 2020 22:11:40   #
Sicilianthing
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
China’s Homowives are Becoming Unlikely Champions for Gay Rights
ChinaWire

After her marriage was over, just looking at a wedding photo would make Qiu Xuan feel awful. The 29-year-old, a video editor at a communications company in Guangzhou, could tell by the picture that she wasn’t half of a happy couple that day, even though she was the one wearing a white veil.

The photo shows the bride and g***m with their best man, who was standing in between them, h*****g one arm over the g***m’s shoulder, and leaning his head towards him. Qiu said her yearlong sexless and loveless marriage can be explained in that one image — her husband was in love with his best man, not her.

The term “beard” to describe a woman who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, to disguise her partner’s homosexuality has been used as slang in the United States for many decades.

But acknowledgement that such marriages even happen is a recent phenomena in China. In China, a “beard” is known straightforwardly as a 同妻(Tongqi), or ““homowife”—the abbreviation of “the wife of a homosexual” in Chinese.

There are millions of gay men married to women in China, academics believe. According to an estimate by Zhang Beichuan, one of the first Chinese scholars to study sexuality, China has 20 million male homosexuals of marriageable age — and 80% of them will marry a woman. In contrast, 15 to 20% of gay men in America have married heterosexual women.

The women in these marriages are quietly becoming an unlikely force in China’s nascent gay-rights movement. If men are free to openly have relationships with other men, sham marriages like theirs will no longer happen, they say. Being “homosexual is not wrong,” said Qiu in an interview. “What’s wrong is to marry a heterosexual to make a tragedy.”

Why China has millions of “homowives”

Liu Jie, a 25-year-old homosexual interior decorator from Shantou, Guangdong Province, has thought of entering into a gay-straight marriage, because, like many Chinese of marrying age, he’s under a lot of pressure from his parents. “They said they would have nothing to worry about in their lives once I got married. How can I come out of the closet to them?” Liu said.

“Among three ways of being an unfilial son, the most serious is to have no heir,” argued Mencius, an ancient Confucian philosopher. The idea is still ingrained in modern China; men are under social pressure to marry and produce a male heir to carry on the family line. Though new generations are more open-minded, many still believe that to marry and have children are the two most important things in life, whether they are gay or straight.

For women who unknowingly marry gay men, a divorce can be difficult to obtain, and can leave them much worse off financially. Qiu, the video editor, got a divorce and custody of her 9-month-old daughter after court mediation. Her husband agreed to pay alimony of 700 yuan, or $114, per month, which, according to Qiu, accounts for less than 20% of his monthly income. Qiu only agreed to the terms, she said, because her husband’s family refused to let her see her daughter otherwise.

Qiu said the court had rejected her appeal for further compensation, because she could not prove her husband had an extramarital affair. “He has never admitted he is gay, although everyone knows about that,” Qiu said.

“A person who has a spouse but cohabits with another person” is one of the circumstances listed in China’s marriage law that allows a husband or wife to file for divorce, and demand compensation from the other party, but in its judicial interpretation, the “another person” only refers to “the opposite sex.”

“If a man and a woman get a room [in the hotel], we can say it’s an extramarital affair; but if it is two men, we can say nothing,” said Liu, 35, a judge from Shenzhen who agreed to speak on the matter if he was identified only by his surname.

Growing awareness, and activism

Some women in China unknowingly married to a gay man are openly choosing to maintain a nominal marriage to give their children a stable family. Jiang Xinyi, a 24-year-old software engineer from Shanghai, who has been counseling women married to gay men since 2009, said this was a common alternative to divorce and separation. “They draw three ground rules for their husbands: Have sex [with their wives], take care of the family, and look after the child.”

Other arrangements are springing up as well — like the “cooperative marriage” or “xinghun,” in which a lesbian woman and gay man agree to marry to appease their parents.

Jiang first learned there were other women in similar marriages from China’s first homowives meeting in 2009. Then a university student, she found the women who had attended the meeting online and joined their chat group on QQ.

After watching other women share their ordeals and comfort each other in the chat group, Jiang volunteered to establish and operate new groups for newcomers.

Now Jiang runs three QQ chat groups, which have over 200 members in total, and a social media account on Weibo. She also helps these women get legal advice and speak out to the public. She named the volunteer organization Hibiscus Flower, which she said stands for tenacity and vitality.

“Homowives” and their supporters are getting more vocal about their own situations, and the need for China to become more accepting of homosexuality. Zhang Ziwei, a 27-year-old corporate secretary from Nanchang, southeast China’s Jiangxi Province, who dated a gay man three years ago, now manages a QQ chat group on the topic with more than one hundred members. She is t***slating two books — My Husband Is Gay and When Your Spouse Comes Out, written by Carol Grever, an American woman who married a gay man — into Chinese. After she finishes, she plans to send them to other women in her situation, because there are no such books in China.

One woman who was formerly married to a gay man, who calls herself “Little Delan,” dressed in a bridal gown to seek marriage at the Qixi Festival, China’s Valentines’ Day, in August, 2017 on the the streets of Quanzhou, the largest city in southeastern Fujian Province. She told Chinese media that, besides finding the right man, she wanted to raise awareness about homowives, and the need for China to offer homosexuals equal rights and legalize gay marriage.

A 51-year-old retired worker from Zhengzhou, central China’s Henan Province, who only wants to be identified by her online nickname, Aunt Moon, has been volunteering at Hibiscus Flower since she helped her niece get out of a gay-straight marriage four years ago.

“I don’t have a high literacy level, but I am gentle, and willing to talk,” said Aunt Moon, who has had volunteer experience at the Red Cross Society of China.

Aunt Moon (second from the right) and other marchers at a gay p***e parade

Three women married to gay men attended the last annual PF**G China meeting, the gay support group’s co-founder said. Their involvement isn’t without controversy. “Ideally we should stand in the same trench to fight against biases from the society,” co-founder Aqiang said. But being a “homowife is only a t***sitional identity — after they find a heterosexual man and get married, they are no longer homowives.” Aqiang said, “I don’t expect them to do much.”



“What they want is to solve their own problems,” he added. “They are often emotional, critical and angry. We can’t hear the husbands’ voices in their cases.”
China’s Homowives are Becoming Unlikely Champions ... (show quote)


>>>

Pass !

Good luck with that one, I’m out, way way out.

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 02:23:54   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
China’s Homowives are Becoming Unlikely Champions for Gay Rights
ChinaWire

After her marriage was over, just looking at a wedding photo would make Qiu Xuan feel awful. The 29-year-old, a video editor at a communications company in Guangzhou, could tell by the picture that she wasn’t half of a happy couple that day, even though she was the one wearing a white veil.

The photo shows the bride and g***m with their best man, who was standing in between them, h*****g one arm over the g***m’s shoulder, and leaning his head towards him. Qiu said her yearlong sexless and loveless marriage can be explained in that one image — her husband was in love with his best man, not her.

The term “beard” to describe a woman who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, to disguise her partner’s homosexuality has been used as slang in the United States for many decades.

But acknowledgement that such marriages even happen is a recent phenomena in China. In China, a “beard” is known straightforwardly as a 同妻(Tongqi), or ““homowife”—the abbreviation of “the wife of a homosexual” in Chinese.

There are millions of gay men married to women in China, academics believe. According to an estimate by Zhang Beichuan, one of the first Chinese scholars to study sexuality, China has 20 million male homosexuals of marriageable age — and 80% of them will marry a woman. In contrast, 15 to 20% of gay men in America have married heterosexual women.

The women in these marriages are quietly becoming an unlikely force in China’s nascent gay-rights movement. If men are free to openly have relationships with other men, sham marriages like theirs will no longer happen, they say. Being “homosexual is not wrong,” said Qiu in an interview. “What’s wrong is to marry a heterosexual to make a tragedy.”

Why China has millions of “homowives”

Liu Jie, a 25-year-old homosexual interior decorator from Shantou, Guangdong Province, has thought of entering into a gay-straight marriage, because, like many Chinese of marrying age, he’s under a lot of pressure from his parents. “They said they would have nothing to worry about in their lives once I got married. How can I come out of the closet to them?” Liu said.

“Among three ways of being an unfilial son, the most serious is to have no heir,” argued Mencius, an ancient Confucian philosopher. The idea is still ingrained in modern China; men are under social pressure to marry and produce a male heir to carry on the family line. Though new generations are more open-minded, many still believe that to marry and have children are the two most important things in life, whether they are gay or straight.

For women who unknowingly marry gay men, a divorce can be difficult to obtain, and can leave them much worse off financially. Qiu, the video editor, got a divorce and custody of her 9-month-old daughter after court mediation. Her husband agreed to pay alimony of 700 yuan, or $114, per month, which, according to Qiu, accounts for less than 20% of his monthly income. Qiu only agreed to the terms, she said, because her husband’s family refused to let her see her daughter otherwise.

Qiu said the court had rejected her appeal for further compensation, because she could not prove her husband had an extramarital affair. “He has never admitted he is gay, although everyone knows about that,” Qiu said.

“A person who has a spouse but cohabits with another person” is one of the circumstances listed in China’s marriage law that allows a husband or wife to file for divorce, and demand compensation from the other party, but in its judicial interpretation, the “another person” only refers to “the opposite sex.”

“If a man and a woman get a room [in the hotel], we can say it’s an extramarital affair; but if it is two men, we can say nothing,” said Liu, 35, a judge from Shenzhen who agreed to speak on the matter if he was identified only by his surname.

Growing awareness, and activism

Some women in China unknowingly married to a gay man are openly choosing to maintain a nominal marriage to give their children a stable family. Jiang Xinyi, a 24-year-old software engineer from Shanghai, who has been counseling women married to gay men since 2009, said this was a common alternative to divorce and separation. “They draw three ground rules for their husbands: Have sex [with their wives], take care of the family, and look after the child.”

Other arrangements are springing up as well — like the “cooperative marriage” or “xinghun,” in which a lesbian woman and gay man agree to marry to appease their parents.

Jiang first learned there were other women in similar marriages from China’s first homowives meeting in 2009. Then a university student, she found the women who had attended the meeting online and joined their chat group on QQ.

After watching other women share their ordeals and comfort each other in the chat group, Jiang volunteered to establish and operate new groups for newcomers.

Now Jiang runs three QQ chat groups, which have over 200 members in total, and a social media account on Weibo. She also helps these women get legal advice and speak out to the public. She named the volunteer organization Hibiscus Flower, which she said stands for tenacity and vitality.

“Homowives” and their supporters are getting more vocal about their own situations, and the need for China to become more accepting of homosexuality. Zhang Ziwei, a 27-year-old corporate secretary from Nanchang, southeast China’s Jiangxi Province, who dated a gay man three years ago, now manages a QQ chat group on the topic with more than one hundred members. She is t***slating two books — My Husband Is Gay and When Your Spouse Comes Out, written by Carol Grever, an American woman who married a gay man — into Chinese. After she finishes, she plans to send them to other women in her situation, because there are no such books in China.

One woman who was formerly married to a gay man, who calls herself “Little Delan,” dressed in a bridal gown to seek marriage at the Qixi Festival, China’s Valentines’ Day, in August, 2017 on the the streets of Quanzhou, the largest city in southeastern Fujian Province. She told Chinese media that, besides finding the right man, she wanted to raise awareness about homowives, and the need for China to offer homosexuals equal rights and legalize gay marriage.

A 51-year-old retired worker from Zhengzhou, central China’s Henan Province, who only wants to be identified by her online nickname, Aunt Moon, has been volunteering at Hibiscus Flower since she helped her niece get out of a gay-straight marriage four years ago.

“I don’t have a high literacy level, but I am gentle, and willing to talk,” said Aunt Moon, who has had volunteer experience at the Red Cross Society of China.

Aunt Moon (second from the right) and other marchers at a gay p***e parade

Three women married to gay men attended the last annual PF**G China meeting, the gay support group’s co-founder said. Their involvement isn’t without controversy. “Ideally we should stand in the same trench to fight against biases from the society,” co-founder Aqiang said. But being a “homowife is only a t***sitional identity — after they find a heterosexual man and get married, they are no longer homowives.” Aqiang said, “I don’t expect them to do much.”



“What they want is to solve their own problems,” he added. “They are often emotional, critical and angry. We can’t hear the husbands’ voices in their cases.”
China’s Homowives are Becoming Unlikely Champions ... (show quote)


Doesn't surprise me! Testosterone seems to be in short supply these days. Eating too much soy!

Reply
 
 
Jan 22, 2020 02:25:53   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Doesn't surprise me! Testosterone seems to be in short supply these days. Eating too much soy!


Chuckle...

How does that explain Lesbians?

I love tofu...

Delicious...

Will be eating tofu rolls bbqed over an open flame tonight

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 02:46:18   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
Chuckle...

How does that explain Lesbians?

I love tofu...

Delicious...

Will be eating tofu rolls bbqed over an open flame tonight


Did you eat it when you were a child during your formative years?

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 02:53:06   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Did you eat it when you were a child during your formative years?


Nah... Didn't even know what it was back then... And h**ed it in high school...

But we have dozens of varieties over here... And some of them are awesome... I'll take some pics tonight...

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 08:51:14   #
Sicilianthing
 
dtucker300 wrote:
Did you eat it when you were a child during your formative years?


>>>

There it is !

And the scumbag evil ones brought it to America and put in our food to effeminate men !

Reply
 
 
Jan 22, 2020 09:40:11   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
Sicilianthing wrote:
>>>

There it is !

And the scumbag evil ones brought it to America and put in our food to effeminate men !


You can't be serious

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 09:43:05   #
Sicilianthing
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
You can't be serious


>>>

I can only tell you the research I’ve done.
Men are not suppose to ingest SOY

Soy is in almost all of our food supply....

Ok I’m out, that’s all I have to say about this... stay safe, wear a mask, dont shake hands with anyone there... .and dont touch anything in the public restroom, hand rails, doorknobs...etc....

Just stay away from crowds.

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 09:43:54   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
Sicilianthing wrote:
>>>

I can only tell you the research I’ve done.
Men are not suppose to ingest SOY

Soy is in almost all of our food supply....

Ok I’m out, that’s all I have to say about this... stay safe, wear a mask, dont shake hands with anyone there... .and dont touch anything in the public restroom, hand rails, doorknobs...etc....

Just stay away from crowds.


Soy is found in numerous products...

And is quite healthy...

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 09:44:57   #
Sicilianthing
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
Soy is found in numerous products...

And is quite healthy...


>>>

I guess, idk, I try to avoid it... wish I could find that article... it’s from years ago.

Women can process it naturally ... but men can not.

Reply
 
 
Jan 22, 2020 09:48:15   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
Sicilianthing wrote:
>>>

I guess, idk, I try to avoid it... wish I could find that article... it’s from years ago.

Women can process it naturally ... but men can not.


Soy results in a slightly higher estrogen level... Less than 1%... And that's when it is regularly consumed in large quantities...

If you ever tried Chinese tofu you'd love it...

Damn... Forgot to take pictures tonight...

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 10:09:45   #
dtucker300 Loc: Vista, CA
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
Soy results in a slightly higher estrogen level... Less than 1%... And that's when it is regularly consumed in large quantities...

If you ever tried Chinese tofu you'd love it...

Damn... Forgot to take pictures tonight...


That's the point. Don't eat large quantities. It mimics estrogen, especially during pre-puberty. Hence the saying Soy Boy. It doesn't explain lesbianism. However, the article's focus is on the women married to gay men.

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 10:21:57   #
Sicilianthing
 
Canuckus Deploracus wrote:
Soy results in a slightly higher estrogen level... Less than 1%... And that's when it is regularly consumed in large quantities...

If you ever tried Chinese tofu you'd love it...

Damn... Forgot to take pictures tonight...


>>>

Ok I’m out.

Reply
Jan 22, 2020 10:22:39   #
Sicilianthing
 
dtucker300 wrote:
That's the point. Don't eat large quantities. It mimics estrogen, especially during pre-puberty. Hence the saying Soy Boy. It doesn't explain lesbianism. However, the article's focus is on the women married to gay men.


>>>

Yeah especially FAT SOY BOYS !

Like FAT Chicks...

Reply
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