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Upon request: Quick Canadian jokes
Oct 29, 2019 16:01:00   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'.

Q: Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
A: Because they had no where else Toronto!

Q: What do you call a sophisticated American?
A: A Canadian

Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road?
A: He saw some American do it on TV.

Q: Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats?
A: Vancougar

Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.

Q: What are the 2 seasons in Canada?
A: Winter and July

Q: What do Canadians get on their tests?
A: Eh’s

Q: How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
A: You say “please get out of the swimming pool.”

Q: Why don't Canadian women wear sleeveless dresses?
A: They aren't allowed to bare arms

Q: What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?
A: Tim Hortons Hears a Who. (Tim Hortons is a fast food restaurant chain, specializing in coffee and doughnuts items. It is Canada's largest quick service restaurant chain)

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They don’t change lightbulbs, they try to accept them the way they are.

Q: Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
A: The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Q: Who would win in a fight between Celine Dion and Shania Twain?
A: We all would!

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?
A: A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

For those who seek further punishment from Canadian humour…

https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/canadian-jokes.html

(There's actually some good ones in there )

Reply
Oct 29, 2019 16:24:31   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'.

Q: Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
A: Because they had no where else Toronto!

Q: What do you call a sophisticated American?
A: A Canadian

Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road?
A: He saw some American do it on TV.

Q: Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats?
A: Vancougar

Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.

Q: What are the 2 seasons in Canada?
A: Winter and July

Q: What do Canadians get on their tests?
A: Eh’s

Q: How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
A: You say “please get out of the swimming pool.”

Q: Why don't Canadian women wear sleeveless dresses?
A: They aren't allowed to bare arms

Q: What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?
A: Tim Hortons Hears a Who. (Tim Hortons is a fast food restaurant chain, specializing in coffee and doughnuts items. It is Canada's largest quick service restaurant chain)

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They don’t change lightbulbs, they try to accept them the way they are.

Q: Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
A: The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Q: Who would win in a fight between Celine Dion and Shania Twain?
A: We all would!

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?
A: A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

For those who seek further punishment from Canadian humour…

https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/canadian-jokes.html

(There's actually some good ones in there )
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'. img src="h... (show quote)



Reply
Oct 29, 2019 16:38:04   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'.

Q: Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
A: Because they had no where else Toronto!

Q: What do you call a sophisticated American?
A: A Canadian

Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road?
A: He saw some American do it on TV.

Q: Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats?
A: Vancougar

Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.

Q: What are the 2 seasons in Canada?
A: Winter and July

Q: What do Canadians get on their tests?
A: Eh’s

Q: How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
A: You say “please get out of the swimming pool.”

Q: Why don't Canadian women wear sleeveless dresses?
A: They aren't allowed to bare arms

Q: What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?
A: Tim Hortons Hears a Who. (Tim Hortons is a fast food restaurant chain, specializing in coffee and doughnuts items. It is Canada's largest quick service restaurant chain)

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They don’t change lightbulbs, they try to accept them the way they are.

Q: Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
A: The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Q: Who would win in a fight between Celine Dion and Shania Twain?
A: We all would!

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?
A: A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

For those who seek further punishment from Canadian humour…

https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/canadian-jokes.html

(There's actually some good ones in there )
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'. img src="h... (show quote)

you should be ashamed Slat
knocking our northern neighbors,whom I believe have always came to our aid when needed
you have now sank lower than I thought possible
but then I remembered---you're a Marine


Reply
 
 
Oct 29, 2019 16:40:19   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
badbobby wrote:
you should be ashamed Slat
knocking our northern neighbors,whom I believe have always came to our aid when needed
you have now sank lower than I thought possible
but then I remembered---you're a Marine



Yeah, Canadians think they're better than us, I mean, do we have American bacon? No, we just have bacon.

Reply
Oct 29, 2019 16:41:30   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
badbobby wrote:
you should be ashamed Slat
knocking our northern neighbors,whom I believe have always came to our aid when needed
you have now sank lower than I thought possible
but then I remembered---you're a Marine


Ease up, BB. I was just responding to a request by Canuckus Deploracus for Canadian jokes.

Geez.

Reply
Oct 29, 2019 16:44:29   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
lpnmajor wrote:
Yeah, Canadians think they're better than us, I mean, do we have American bacon? No, we just have bacon.

Thanks, Doc It figures that a Corpsman would come to the defense of a stalwart Marine.

But, is there any other kind

Reply
Oct 29, 2019 18:11:29   #
elledee
 
i may regret this but.... how bout some Irish jokes.....make em short I'm Irish

Reply
 
 
Oct 29, 2019 18:43:09   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
elledee wrote:
i may regret this but.... how bout some Irish jokes.....make em short I'm Irish

Well, you may indeed regret your request...but, here's some on a moment's notice...

https://www.onepoliticalplaza.com/t-168650-1.html#3032763

Reply
Oct 29, 2019 21:12:53   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
slatten49 wrote:
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'.

Q: Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
A: Because they had no where else Toronto!

Q: What do you call a sophisticated American?
A: A Canadian

Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road?
A: He saw some American do it on TV.

Q: Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats?
A: Vancougar

Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.

Q: What are the 2 seasons in Canada?
A: Winter and July

Q: What do Canadians get on their tests?
A: Eh’s

Q: How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
A: You say “please get out of the swimming pool.”

Q: Why don't Canadian women wear sleeveless dresses?
A: They aren't allowed to bare arms

Q: What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?
A: Tim Hortons Hears a Who. (Tim Hortons is a fast food restaurant chain, specializing in coffee and doughnuts items. It is Canada's largest quick service restaurant chain)

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They don’t change lightbulbs, they try to accept them the way they are.

Q: Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
A: The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Q: Who would win in a fight between Celine Dion and Shania Twain?
A: We all would!

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?
A: A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

For those who seek further punishment from Canadian humour…

https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/canadian-jokes.html

(There's actually some good ones in there )
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'. img src="h... (show quote)


These are all great...

Good for you for mocking the newfies

Tim Horton's was bought by Burger King...They suck now...

Shania and Celine? No one wins...

Cheers Slatten

Reply
Oct 29, 2019 22:34:28   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'.

Q: Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
A: Because they had no where else Toronto!

Q: What do you call a sophisticated American?
A: A Canadian

Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road?
A: He saw some American do it on TV.

Q: Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats?
A: Vancougar

Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.

Q: What are the 2 seasons in Canada?
A: Winter and July

Q: What do Canadians get on their tests?
A: Eh’s

Q: How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
A: You say “please get out of the swimming pool.”

Q: Why don't Canadian women wear sleeveless dresses?
A: They aren't allowed to bare arms

Q: What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?
A: Tim Hortons Hears a Who. (Tim Hortons is a fast food restaurant chain, specializing in coffee and doughnuts items. It is Canada's largest quick service restaurant chain)

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They don’t change lightbulbs, they try to accept them the way they are.

Q: Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
A: The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Q: Who would win in a fight between Celine Dion and Shania Twain?
A: We all would!

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?
A: A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

For those who seek further punishment from Canadian humour…

https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/canadian-jokes.html

(There's actually some good ones in there )
Dedicated to OPP's resident 'Iceback'. img src="h... (show quote)


No joke about it, those Canadians are deep thinkers too!

https://youtu.be/lBHs4LJA4DM

Reply
Oct 30, 2019 07:56:31   #
Big dog
 
archie bunker wrote:
No joke about it, those Canadians are deep thinkers too!

https://youtu.be/lBHs4LJA4DM


Jeez bb those three are 2 much 🤪

Reply
 
 
Oct 30, 2019 12:44:40   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Big dog wrote:
Jeez bb those three are 2 much 🤪


two ofem are great OPPers Bd
too bad the same thing can't be said for the dastardly one

Reply
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