Montana: Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town's population.

Nebraska: Did you hear what happened in Nebraska when the wind stopped blowing? Everyone fell over!

Nevada: "I went to a dentist is Vegas because I had a cavity… and he wanted to wait until I had three in a row!"

New Hampshire: "That's all 'Live Free or Die' really is: it's no sales tax, and no seat belts or normal safety regulations that save lives. It shouldn't be 'Live Free or Die.' It should be 'Live Free and Die.'" (Drew Dunn)

New Jersey: "New Jersey is banning smiling in driver's license photos. So now, instead of telling the driver to, 'Say cheese,' the DMV photographer will just say, 'You live in New Jersey.'"

New Mexico: "I refer to Mexico as 'Mexico Classic' and New Mexico as 'Mexico 2: Electric Boogaloo.'"

New York: "In other parts of the country, couples try to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York, they try to work things out for the sake of the apartment."

North Carolina: One inch of snow? Sorry folks, North Carolina is closed.

North Dakota: What's a seven-course meal in North Dakota? A hamburger and a six-pack.

Ohio: If your hometown river is flammable and you don't see any meaningful difference between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip, you're probably from Ohio.

Oklahoma: If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too excited about it until you actually see it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma.

Oregon: Restaurant patron: "Can you tell us more about the chicken?" Waitress: "It's a heritage breed, woodland raised, and fed a diet of sheepsmilk, soy, and hazelnuts." Patron: "And it's local?" Waitress: "Yep." Patron: "And how big is the area where it's allowed to roam free?" Waitress: "Four acres." Patron: "We're gonna go check the farm out right now, and if you don't mind, could you hold our places for us.

Pennsylvania: Where does America buy its pencils? Pennsylvania!

Rhode Island: Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it, because it ends in 40 feet.

South Carolina: While fishing off Myrtle Beach, a Yankee tourist capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, "Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do anything," the old guy said. "The sharks got 'em."

South Dakota: The state tree of South Dakota: Telephone poles.

Tennessee: Do you know what you get when you play a country tune backward? You get your job back, your house back, your wife back, your dog back …

Texas: A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brought a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Everything's bigger." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas everything's bigger." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"

Utah: An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he'll live to be a hundred. "Do you smoke or drink?" asks the doctor. "Those things have never and will never touch my lips," says the man. "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" "Nope, don't believe in doing any of that, either." "Well then," says the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"

Vermont: How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to change it and two to talk about how much better the old one was.

Virginia: No one in Virginia ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on!

Washington: What did the Seattleite say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? "Nice tan."

West Virginia: A ventriloquist is touring around the state of West Virginia performing his act. One night, while performing his act, he proceeded to make a bunch of "stupid Southerner" jokes while talking through his dummy. Halfway through his act, one of the audience members stands up and yells, "Hey! We don't take kindly to your jokes around here! Not all of us are as stupid as you make us look!" The ventriloquist begins to apologize to the audience when the audience member interrupts him and says, "I was talking to the man on your lap, not you!"

Wisconsin: How do you know a man is from Wisconsin? He owes more money on his snowmobile than his car.

Wyoming: If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Wyoming.

Montana: Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town's population.

Nebraska: Did you hear what happened in Nebraska when the wind stopped blowing? Everyone fell over!

Nevada: "I went to a dentist is Vegas because I had a cavity… and he wanted to wait until I had three in a row!"

New Hampshire: "That's all 'Live Free or Die' really is: it's no sales tax, and no seat belts or normal safety regulations that save lives. It shouldn't be 'Live Free or Die.' It should be 'Live Free and Die.'"

New Jersey: "New Jersey is banning smiling in driver's license photos. So now, instead of telling the driver to, 'Say cheese,' the DMV photographer will just say, 'You live in New Jersey.'"

New Mexico: "I refer to Mexico as 'Mexico Classic' and New Mexico as 'Mexico 2: Electric Boogaloo.'"

New York: "In other parts of the country, couples try to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York, they try to work things out for the sake of the apartment."

North Carolina: One inch of snow? Sorry folks, North Carolina is closed.

North Dakota: What's a seven-course meal in North Dakota? A hamburger and a six-pack.

Ohio: If your hometown river is flammable and you don't see any meaningful difference between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip, you're probably from Ohio.

Oklahoma: If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too excited about it until you actually see it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma.

Oregon: Restaurant patron: "Can you tell us more about the chicken?" Waitress: "It's a heritage breed, woodland raised, and fed a diet of sheepsmilk, soy, and hazelnuts." Patron: "And it's local?" Waitress: "Yep." Patron: "And how big is the area where it's allowed to roam free?" Waitress: "Four acres." Patron: "We're gonna go check the farm out right now, and if you don't mind, could you hold our places for us.

Pennsylvania: Where does America buy its pencils? Pennsylvania!

Rhode Island: Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it, because it ends in 40 feet.

South Carolina: While fishing off Myrtle Beach, a Yankee tourist capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, "Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do anything," the old guy said. "The sharks got 'em."

South Dakota: The state tree of South Dakota: Telephone poles.

Tennessee: Do you know what you get when you play a country tune backward? You get your job back, your house back, your wife back, your dog back …

Texas: A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brought a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Everything's bigger." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas everything's bigger." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"

Utah: An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he'll live to be a hundred. "Do you smoke or drink?" asks the doctor. "Those things have never and will never touch my lips," says the man. "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" "Nope, don't believe in doing any of that, either." "Well then," says the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"

Vermont: How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to change it and two to talk about how much better the old one was.

Virginia: No one in Virginia ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on!

Washington: What did the Seattleite say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? "Nice tan."

West Virginia: A ventriloquist is touring around the state of West Virginia performing his act. One night, while performing his act, he proceeded to make a bunch of "stupid Southerner" jokes while talking through his dummy. Halfway through his act, one of the audience members stands up and yells, "Hey! We don't take kindly to your jokes around here! Not all of us are as stupid as you make us look!" The ventriloquist begins to apologize to the audience when the audience member interrupts him and says, "I was talking to the man on your lap, not you!"

Wisconsin: How do you know a man is from Wisconsin? He owes more money on his snowmobile than his car.

Wyoming: If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Wyoming.

Montana: Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town's population.

Nebraska: Did you hear what happened in Nebraska when the wind stopped blowing? Everyone fell over!

Nevada: "I went to a dentist is Vegas because I had a cavity… and he wanted to wait until I had three in a row!"

New Hampshire: "That's all 'Live Free or Die' really is: it's no sales tax, and no seat belts or normal safety regulations that save lives. It shouldn't be 'Live Free or Die.' It should be 'Live Free and Die.'"

New Jersey: "New Jersey is banning smiling in driver's license photos. So now, instead of telling the driver to, 'Say cheese,' the DMV photographer will just say, 'You live in New Jersey.'"

New Mexico: "I refer to Mexico as 'Mexico Classic' and New Mexico as 'Mexico 2: Electric Boogaloo.'"

New York: "In other parts of the country, couples try to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York, they try to work things out for the sake of the apartment."

North Carolina: One inch of snow? Sorry folks, North Carolina is closed.

North Dakota: What's a seven-course meal in North Dakota? A hamburger and a six-pack.

Ohio: If your hometown river is flammable and you don't see any meaningful difference between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip, you're probably from Ohio.

Oklahoma: If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too excited about it until you actually see it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma.

Oregon: Restaurant patron: "Can you tell us more about the chicken?" Waitress: "It's a heritage breed, woodland raised, and fed a diet of sheepsmilk, soy, and hazelnuts." Patron: "And it's local?" Waitress: "Yep." Patron: "And how big is the area where it's allowed to roam free?" Waitress: "Four acres." Patron: "We're gonna go check the farm out right now, and if you don't mind, could you hold our places for us.

Pennsylvania: Where does America buy its pencils? Pennsylvania!

Rhode Island: Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it, because it ends in 40 feet.

South Carolina: While fishing off Myrtle Beach, a Yankee tourist capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, "Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do anything," the old guy said. "The sharks got 'em."

South Dakota: The state tree of South Dakota: Telephone poles.

Tennessee: Do you know what you get when you play a country tune backward? You get your job back, your house back, your wife back, your dog back …

Texas: A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brought a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Everything's bigger." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas everything's bigger." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"

Utah: An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he'll live to be a hundred. "Do you smoke or drink?" asks the doctor. "Those things have never and will never touch my lips," says the man. "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" "Nope, don't believe in doing any of that, either." "Well then," says the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"

Vermont: How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to change it and two to talk about how much better the old one was.

Virginia: No one in Virginia ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on!

Washington: What did the Seattleite say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? "Nice tan."

West Virginia: A ventriloquist is touring around the state of West Virginia performing his act. One night, while performing his act, he proceeded to make a bunch of "stupid Southerner" jokes while talking through his dummy. Halfway through his act, one of the audience members stands up and yells, "Hey! We don't take kindly to your jokes around here! Not all of us are as stupid as you make us look!" The ventriloquist begins to apologize to the audience when the audience member interrupts him and says, "I was talking to the man on your lap, not you!"

Wisconsin: How do you know a man is from Wisconsin? He owes more money on his snowmobile than his car.

Wyoming: If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Wyoming.

Montana: Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town's population.

Nebraska: Did you hear what happened in Nebraska when the wind stopped blowing? Everyone fell over!

Nevada: "I went to a dentist is Vegas because I had a cavity… and he wanted to wait until I had three in a row!"

New Hampshire: "That's all 'Live Free or Die' really is: it's no sales tax, and no seat belts or normal safety regulations that save lives. It shouldn't be 'Live Free or Die.' It should be 'Live Free and Die.'"

New Jersey: "New Jersey is banning smiling in driver's license photos. So now, instead of telling the driver to, 'Say cheese,' the DMV photographer will just say, 'You live in New Jersey.'"

New Mexico: "I refer to Mexico as 'Mexico Classic' and New Mexico as 'Mexico 2: Electric Boogaloo.'"

New York: "In other parts of the country, couples try to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York, they try to work things out for the sake of the apartment."

North Carolina: One inch of snow? Sorry folks, North Carolina is closed.

North Dakota: What's a seven-course meal in North Dakota? A hamburger and a six-pack.

Ohio: If your hometown river is flammable and you don't see any meaningful difference between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip, you're probably from Ohio.

Oklahoma: If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too excited about it until you actually see it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma.

Oregon: Restaurant patron: "Can you tell us more about the chicken?" Waitress: "It's a heritage breed, woodland raised, and fed a diet of sheepsmilk, soy, and hazelnuts." Patron: "And it's local?" Waitress: "Yep." Patron: "And how big is the area where it's allowed to roam free?" Waitress: "Four acres." Patron: "We're gonna go check the farm out right now, and if you don't mind, could you hold our places for us.

Pennsylvania: Where does America buy its pencils? Pennsylvania!

Rhode Island: Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it, because it ends in 40 feet.

South Carolina: While fishing off Myrtle Beach, a Yankee tourist capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, "Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do anything," the old guy said. "The sharks got 'em."

South Dakota: The state tree of South Dakota: Telephone poles.

Tennessee: Do you know what you get when you play a country tune backward? You get your job back, your house back, your wife back, your dog back …

Texas: A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a diner and ordered an orange juice and a steak. The waitress brought a pitcher of orange juice and the man's jaw dropped. The farmer said, "Pardon me, I ordered a glass of orange juice not a whole pitcher." The waitress simply said, "Sir, this is Texas. Everything's bigger." So when the waitress brought the steak the farmer said, "Excuse me, I ordered a steak not the whole cow!" Again the waitress said, "This is Texas everything's bigger." After he finished he had to go to the bathroom so he asked the waitress were it was. She told him it was down the hall first door to the left. Just as he walked through the men's room door he fell into a deep pool and screamed, "HELP, HELP! DON'T FLUSH!"

Utah: An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he'll live to be a hundred. "Do you smoke or drink?" asks the doctor. "Those things have never and will never touch my lips," says the man. "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?" "Nope, don't believe in doing any of that, either." "Well then," says the doctor, "what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"

Vermont: How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to change it and two to talk about how much better the old one was.

Virginia: No one in Virginia ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on!

Washington: What did the Seattleite say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? "Nice tan."

West Virginia: A ventriloquist is touring around the state of West Virginia performing his act. One night, while performing his act, he proceeded to make a bunch of "stupid Southerner" jokes while talking through his dummy. Halfway through his act, one of the audience members stands up and yells, "Hey! We don't take kindly to your jokes around here! Not all of us are as stupid as you make us look!" The ventriloquist begins to apologize to the audience when the audience member interrupts him and says, "I was talking to the man on your lap, not you!"

Wisconsin: How do you know a man is from Wisconsin? He owes more money on his snowmobile than his car.

Wyoming: If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Wyoming.