badbobby Loc: texas

1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.



2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the i***t's name.



3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.



4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.



5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.



*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

*BONUS RULES:*



Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.





I think Congressmen should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors!





And as I get older, I realize:





#1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.





#2 - I consider "On Trend" to be the clothes that still fit.





#3 - I don't need anger management. People need to stop pissing me off.





#4 - My people sk**ls are just fine. My tolerance for i***ts needs work.





#5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."





#6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.





#7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.





#8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.





#9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?





#10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than me

bahmer

Those are all good there badbobby and I relate to many of those as well thanks for the laughs.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I forgive you, BB...plus, I remember your name...ya' durn Squid.

BTW, unless Methuselah is still around, nobody's older than you.

Otherwise, all-in-all, a good list.

moldyoldy

Those were all good.

Y360AZ

I can relate to all. Quite the reminders. Loved 'em.

Tug484

Money can't buy happiness, but I feel like it can rent it for a little while.

Fit2BTied Loc: Texas

Good stuff...wrinkle free, three sizes smaller, AND smelling like a dryer sheet instead of "eau de vieil homme"! (French for Old Guy)

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

You da man!

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Don't encourage him, PeeWee.

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

Even coaches need encouragement, Slat. With all those kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, you da man too!

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I can live with that assessment

badbobby Loc: texas

I got more great great grand kids than Slat has grand kids
so that makes me 'da man'--the only

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

It makes you 'da rascal' for sure. For Slat to beat you in that category you have to stop breathing and he has to keep breathing. I'm thinking of eating more fish. Seems to work for you. Maybe it'll work for me.

badbobby Loc: texas

never eat fish

that's my secret

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I have ten great grandkids, BB...but, it's hard to compete with a man old enough to be my father