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Police---Anyone??
Jul 13, 2019 17:31:49   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. So I sent them a picture of a check. They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

. The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn’t even apply for a job there.

Policeman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge officer?” Policeman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

. Drug dealers are always late, if your drug dealer is on time, its the police.

. A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, “I was attacked! I was attacked!” The cop said, “When?” She said, “Twenty-three years ago.” The cop said, “What are you telling me now for?” The little old lady said, “I just like to talk about it once in a while.”


. During a training exercise at police academy, the instructor asked his student: “What steps would you take if someone came at you with a large knife?” The student replied: “Very big ones.”

A highly agitated young woman called the police and said: “I have a funny sex maniac in my apartment.” The police officer replied: “Okay, ma’am, we’ll be at your place as soon as possible.” The woman said: “Can you please wait until morning?”

A man fell out of a ten-story building. He was lying on the ground with a small crowd assembled around him. Then the police officer came by and asked: “What happened?” The man replied: “I don’t know. I just got here.”

. I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” I responded, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want wh**ever got you talking to the dog!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?” “Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver. “Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman. “Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”



Reply
Jul 13, 2019 17:55:18   #
Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX
 
badbobby wrote:
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. So I sent them a picture of a check. They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

. The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn’t even apply for a job there.

Policeman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge officer?” Policeman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

. Drug dealers are always late, if your drug dealer is on time, its the police.

. A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, “I was attacked! I was attacked!” The cop said, “When?” She said, “Twenty-three years ago.” The cop said, “What are you telling me now for?” The little old lady said, “I just like to talk about it once in a while.”


. During a training exercise at police academy, the instructor asked his student: “What steps would you take if someone came at you with a large knife?” The student replied: “Very big ones.”

A highly agitated young woman called the police and said: “I have a funny sex maniac in my apartment.” The police officer replied: “Okay, ma’am, we’ll be at your place as soon as possible.” The woman said: “Can you please wait until morning?”

A man fell out of a ten-story building. He was lying on the ground with a small crowd assembled around him. Then the police officer came by and asked: “What happened?” The man replied: “I don’t know. I just got here.”

. I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” I responded, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want wh**ever got you talking to the dog!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?” “Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver. “Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman. “Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been ... (show quote)


All good but the last one was priceless!

Reply
Jul 13, 2019 18:41:49   #
bahmer
 
badbobby wrote:
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. So I sent them a picture of a check. They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

. The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn’t even apply for a job there.

Policeman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge officer?” Policeman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

. Drug dealers are always late, if your drug dealer is on time, its the police.

. A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, “I was attacked! I was attacked!” The cop said, “When?” She said, “Twenty-three years ago.” The cop said, “What are you telling me now for?” The little old lady said, “I just like to talk about it once in a while.”


. During a training exercise at police academy, the instructor asked his student: “What steps would you take if someone came at you with a large knife?” The student replied: “Very big ones.”

A highly agitated young woman called the police and said: “I have a funny sex maniac in my apartment.” The police officer replied: “Okay, ma’am, we’ll be at your place as soon as possible.” The woman said: “Can you please wait until morning?”

A man fell out of a ten-story building. He was lying on the ground with a small crowd assembled around him. Then the police officer came by and asked: “What happened?” The man replied: “I don’t know. I just got here.”

. I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” I responded, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want wh**ever got you talking to the dog!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?” “Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver. “Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman. “Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been ... (show quote)


All are good there badbobby thanks for the laughs.

Reply
 
 
Jul 14, 2019 08:20:51   #
lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas
 
badbobby wrote:
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. So I sent them a picture of a check. They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

. The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn’t even apply for a job there.

Policeman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge officer?” Policeman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

. Drug dealers are always late, if your drug dealer is on time, its the police.

. A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, “I was attacked! I was attacked!” The cop said, “When?” She said, “Twenty-three years ago.” The cop said, “What are you telling me now for?” The little old lady said, “I just like to talk about it once in a while.”


. During a training exercise at police academy, the instructor asked his student: “What steps would you take if someone came at you with a large knife?” The student replied: “Very big ones.”

A highly agitated young woman called the police and said: “I have a funny sex maniac in my apartment.” The police officer replied: “Okay, ma’am, we’ll be at your place as soon as possible.” The woman said: “Can you please wait until morning?”

A man fell out of a ten-story building. He was lying on the ground with a small crowd assembled around him. Then the police officer came by and asked: “What happened?” The man replied: “I don’t know. I just got here.”

. I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” I responded, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want wh**ever got you talking to the dog!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?” “Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver. “Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman. “Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been ... (show quote)



Reply
Jul 14, 2019 19:43:05   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
badbobby wrote:
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. So I sent them a picture of a check. They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

. The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn’t even apply for a job there.

Policeman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge officer?” Policeman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

. Drug dealers are always late, if your drug dealer is on time, its the police.

. A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, “I was attacked! I was attacked!” The cop said, “When?” She said, “Twenty-three years ago.” The cop said, “What are you telling me now for?” The little old lady said, “I just like to talk about it once in a while.”


. During a training exercise at police academy, the instructor asked his student: “What steps would you take if someone came at you with a large knife?” The student replied: “Very big ones.”

A highly agitated young woman called the police and said: “I have a funny sex maniac in my apartment.” The police officer replied: “Okay, ma’am, we’ll be at your place as soon as possible.” The woman said: “Can you please wait until morning?”

A man fell out of a ten-story building. He was lying on the ground with a small crowd assembled around him. Then the police officer came by and asked: “What happened?” The man replied: “I don’t know. I just got here.”

. I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” I responded, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want wh**ever got you talking to the dog!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?” “Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver. “Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman. “Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been ... (show quote)






Reply
Jul 14, 2019 22:19:40   #
bggamers Loc: georgia
 
badbobby wrote:
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

The Police sent me a picture of me speeding. So I sent them a picture of a check. They sent me a picture of handcuffs.

. The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn’t even apply for a job there.

Policeman: “I’m afraid that I’m going to have to lock you up for the night.” Man: “What’s the charge officer?” Policeman: “Oh, there’s no charge. It’s all part of the service.

. Drug dealers are always late, if your drug dealer is on time, its the police.

. A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, “I was attacked! I was attacked!” The cop said, “When?” She said, “Twenty-three years ago.” The cop said, “What are you telling me now for?” The little old lady said, “I just like to talk about it once in a while.”


. During a training exercise at police academy, the instructor asked his student: “What steps would you take if someone came at you with a large knife?” The student replied: “Very big ones.”

A highly agitated young woman called the police and said: “I have a funny sex maniac in my apartment.” The police officer replied: “Okay, ma’am, we’ll be at your place as soon as possible.” The woman said: “Can you please wait until morning?”

A man fell out of a ten-story building. He was lying on the ground with a small crowd assembled around him. Then the police officer came by and asked: “What happened?” The man replied: “I don’t know. I just got here.”

. I got pulled over by a police officer and his dog sniffs for drugs. He comes over and says to me, “My dog says you have weed in the car.” I responded, “Well I don’t know about that, but I want wh**ever got you talking to the dog!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?” “Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver. “Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman. “Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been ... (show quote)


GOOD ONES

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