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shopping at Target
Jun 18, 2019 10:44:49   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
know this is old
but mayhaps a few of you haven't seen it
still funny



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:




Dear Mrs. Harris:



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in

our store.


We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you

from the store.




Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras:




1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.




2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.




3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.




5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.




6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.




8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.




10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.




11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming

the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.




12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'

using different sizes of funnels.




13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'




14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed;


'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the

fitting room?




And last, but not least:



16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.



-

Reply
Jun 18, 2019 11:03:28   #
Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton
 
badbobby wrote:
know this is old
but mayhaps a few of you haven't seen it
still funny



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:




Dear Mrs. Harris:



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in

our store.


We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you

from the store.




Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras:




1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.




2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.




3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.




5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.




6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.




8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.




10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.




11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming

the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.




12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'

using different sizes of funnels.




13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'




14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed;


'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the

fitting room?




And last, but not least:



16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.
-
know this is old br but mayhaps a few of you have... (show quote)

Just another day at Target...

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 06:29:31   #
Big dog
 
badbobby wrote:
know this is old
but mayhaps a few of you haven't seen it
still funny



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:




Dear Mrs. Harris:



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in

our store.


We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you

from the store.




Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras:




1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.




2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.




3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.




5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.




6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.




8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.




10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.




11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming

the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.




12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'

using different sizes of funnels.




13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'




14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed;


'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the

fitting room?




And last, but not least:



16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.



-
know this is old br but mayhaps a few of you have... (show quote)


👍👍👍

Reply
 
 
Jun 19, 2019 10:15:39   #
bahmer
 
badbobby wrote:
know this is old
but mayhaps a few of you haven't seen it
still funny



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:




Dear Mrs. Harris:



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in

our store.


We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you

from the store.




Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras:




1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.




2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.




3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.




5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.




6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.




8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.




10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.




11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming

the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.




12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'

using different sizes of funnels.




13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'




14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed;


'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the

fitting room?




And last, but not least:



16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.



-
know this is old br but mayhaps a few of you have... (show quote)


That's why I don't shop at Target anymore.

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 13:52:24   #
Wonttakeitanymore
 
Larry the Legend wrote:
Just another day at Target...


H**e target very liberal administration! Anybody can use any bathroom or dressing room! Lots of people in protest filled their shopping cart, then left a note saying sorry had to go home to use the bathroom! Lol , never enough cashiers! Try to make u get a target card to save 5%! I said I can save 5% or more shopping at Walmart for the same items!

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 16:46:49   #
Carol Kelly
 
badbobby wrote:
know this is old
but mayhaps a few of you haven't seen it
still funny



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:




Dear Mrs. Harris:



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in

our store.


We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you

from the store.




Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras:




1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.




2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.




3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.




5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.




6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.




8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.




10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.




11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming

the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.




12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'

using different sizes of funnels.




13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'




14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed;


'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the

fitting room?




And last, but not least:



16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.



-
know this is old br but mayhaps a few of you have... (show quote)


This is still the funniest.

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 17:09:44   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Wonttakeitanymore wrote:
H**e target very liberal administration! Anybody can use any bathroom or dressing room! Lots of people in protest filled their shopping cart, then left a note saying sorry had to go home to use the bathroom! Lol , never enough cashiers! Try to make u get a target card to save 5%! I said I can save 5% or more shopping at Walmart for the same items!



Reply
 
 
Jun 19, 2019 17:55:52   #
debeda
 
badbobby wrote:
know this is old
but mayhaps a few of you haven't seen it
still funny



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to

Target. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from
the local Target:




Dear Mrs. Harris:



Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in

our store.


We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you

from the store.




Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras:




1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.




2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.




3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.




4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.




5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on

layaway.




6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.




8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.




9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.




10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.




11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming

the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.




12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'

using different sizes of funnels.




13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'




14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed;


'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the

fitting room?




And last, but not least:



16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
clerks passed out.



-
know this is old br but mayhaps a few of you have... (show quote)


Lolololhahahaha I had NOT heard that before

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 18:45:25   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
debeda wrote:
Lolololhahahaha I had NOT heard that before

then I'm glad I re-posted it

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 18:47:44   #
Carol Kelly
 
badbobby wrote:


My husband especially loved it.

Reply
Jun 19, 2019 18:50:02   #
bahmer
 
badbobby wrote:
then I'm glad I re-posted it


There you go flirting with all of the girls again. Shame Shame Mama is going to get you.

Reply
 
 
Jun 20, 2019 11:55:27   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
bahmer wrote:
There you go flirting with all of the girls again. Shame Shame Mama is going to get you.


she knows I like the gentler sex
as long as I behave myself

Reply
Jun 20, 2019 11:58:29   #
bahmer
 
badbobby wrote:
she knows I like the gentler sex
as long as I behave myself


The question is can you behave yourself? I think not.

Reply
Jun 20, 2019 13:02:47   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
bahmer wrote:
The question is can you behave yourself? I think not.


I shall leave that open to conjecture

Reply
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