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Short Marriage Jokes
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May 11, 2019 11:15:35   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
A teacher asks a student:
"What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?"
"A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid.
"That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice!
Is it because you'd like her to be beautiful and as radiant as the moon?"
"No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!"

After John died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.."
The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her.
"What is it mother?" he whispered.
"Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..."

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!"
Husband: "Yeah, I'm checking the expiration date."

"The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?"
"Because I don't know her that well.

"Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?"
"Yes, actually." Beams the old man.
"Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!"

An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewelry store.
The wife turns to her husband with a smile:
"Love, would you buy me a chain?"
"Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?"

A woman asks her husband:
"What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?"
The husband gives her a long, appreciating look.
"Your sense of humor."

Reply
May 11, 2019 12:45:18   #
moldyoldy
 
All this before Mothers Day, you are in for it.

Reply
May 11, 2019 12:52:26   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
moldyoldy wrote:
All this before Mothers Day, you are in for it.

Yeah, I kind'a overlooked/forgot about that.

Reply
 
 
May 11, 2019 13:32:00   #
dongreen76
 
moldyoldy wrote:
All this before Mothers Day, you are in for it.


Those are funny jokes though

Reply
May 11, 2019 13:52:44   #
mongo Loc: TEXAS
 
slatten49 wrote:
A teacher asks a student:
"What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?"
"A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid.
"That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice!
Is it because you'd like her to be beautiful and as radiant as the moon?"
"No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!"

After John died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.."
The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her.
"What is it mother?" he whispered.
"Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..."

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!"
Husband: "Yeah, I'm checking the expiration date."

"The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?"
"Because I don't know her that well.

"Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?"
"Yes, actually." Beams the old man.
"Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!"

An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewelry store.
The wife turns to her husband with a smile:
"Love, would you buy me a chain?"
"Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?"

A woman asks her husband:
"What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?"
The husband gives her a long, appreciating look.
"Your sense of humor."
A teacher asks a student: br "What kind of wo... (show quote)



Typical Marine, always flirting with death!
Happy Muthas Day to you sir.

SEMPER FI

Reply
May 11, 2019 14:40:01   #
moldyoldy
 
dongreen76 wrote:
Those are funny jokes though


Yeah, they are good ones.

Reply
May 11, 2019 14:57:59   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
mongo wrote:
Typical Marine, always flirting with death!
Happy Muthas Day to you sir.

SEMPER FI

Nah, Mongo. The Sgt. Major will never see these.

Reply
 
 
May 11, 2019 17:53:31   #
mongo Loc: TEXAS
 
slatten49 wrote:
Nah, Mongo. The Sgt. Major will never see these.



You hope...

SEMPER FI

Reply
May 11, 2019 19:39:41   #
Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall
 
slatten49 wrote:
A teacher asks a student:
"What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?"
"A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid.
"That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice!
Is it because you'd like her to be beautiful and as radiant as the moon?"
"No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!"

After John died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.."
The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her.
"What is it mother?" he whispered.
"Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..."

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!"
Husband: "Yeah, I'm checking the expiration date."

"The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?"
"Because I don't know her that well.

"Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?"
"Yes, actually." Beams the old man.
"Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!"

An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewelry store.
The wife turns to her husband with a smile:
"Love, would you buy me a chain?"
"Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?"

A woman asks her husband:
"What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?"
The husband gives her a long, appreciating look.
"Your sense of humor."
A teacher asks a student: br "What kind of wo... (show quote)


The last one made my wife chuckle ...

Kinda hurt my feelings...

Reply
May 12, 2019 09:51:59   #
Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX
 
slatten49 wrote:
A teacher asks a student:
"What kind of woman would you like to be with when you're all grown up?"
"A woman like the moon!" Answers the kid.
"That's beautiful," breathes the teacher, "what a choice!
Is it because you'd like her to be beautiful and as radiant as the moon?"
"No, I'd like her to appear at night and disappear come morning!"

After John died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.."
The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her.
"What is it mother?" he whispered.
"Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..."

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "What do you mean nothing? You've been staring at our marriage certificate for over an hour!"
Husband: "Yeah, I'm checking the expiration date."

"The new neighbors are so in love," remarks Susan to her husband, "he hugs her, kisses her and strokes her hair. Why don't you do that?"
"Because I don't know her that well.

"Hello sir, would you like to contribute something to the old folks home?"
"Yes, actually." Beams the old man.
"Inge, put your jacket on and pack a suitcase!"

An elderly couple is walking in the city, hand in hand, when they pass a jewelry store.
The wife turns to her husband with a smile:
"Love, would you buy me a chain?"
"Why?" Asks the husband, "Tired of being free?"

A woman asks her husband:
"What do you like about me the most? My beautiful face or my sexy body?"
The husband gives her a long, appreciating look.
"Your sense of humor."
A teacher asks a student: br "What kind of wo... (show quote)


to-shay, all good uns.

Reply
May 12, 2019 11:04:51   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
moldyoldy wrote:
All this before Mothers Day, you are in for it.


he's a Marine moldy
nuff said

Reply
 
 
May 12, 2019 11:10:30   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
slatten49 wrote:
Nah, Mongo. The Sgt. Major will never see these.


Heh,heh!
I shall personally forward these malicious slanderings of Mother's Day
to the Sgt Major
It's my duty as an American Swabby
poor Slat

Reply
May 12, 2019 11:13:39   #
moldyoldy
 
badbobby wrote:
he's a Marine moldy
nuff said


Yeah, Mongo explained it.

Reply
May 12, 2019 11:18:35   #
Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX
 
badbobby wrote:
Heh,heh!
I shall personally forward these malicious slanderings of Mother's Day
to the Sgt Major
It's my duty as an American Swabby
poor Slat


That's what friends are for, right?

Reply
May 12, 2019 11:34:09   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
badbobby wrote:
Heh,heh!
I shall personally forward these malicious slanderings of Mother's Day
to the Sgt Major
It's my duty as an American Swabby
poor Slat

No worries here, BB Being a Swabby, you'll find a way to foul up.

Reply
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