bahmer

- Laughter is good like a medicine. If you don't have a huge laugh over this one--you may be need a sign to wear. 😂😘


A New Crop Of I***ts

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison Control Center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to k**l the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with p***e.

Number One I***t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Two I***t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
theBranch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag.";

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he reached the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the WellsFargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit
slipor go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Number Three I***t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy .. But you still get a sign.

Number Four I***t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and
said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over
21and she put the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his l**t.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address
of the robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign .

Number Five I***t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

I***t Number Six

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty bad.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign.

I***t Number Seven

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

Take the sign - Please!

I***t Number Eight

~~~~~~~~~~

Stay Alert! They walk among us ...they Reproduce ... they v**e ...
and a lot of them hold public office.

Auntie Lulu

Bahmer ..... You made my day! I laughed myself silly. Thanks!!!

bahmer

Glad you liked it.

proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA

Amen and Amen Bahmer!!!....It doesn't pay to be a crook!!

badbobby Loc: texas

thanks for laughs bahm
BTW are you attempting to surpass Old Sailor and myself??

bahmer

No way you two are way out in front of me.

badbobby Loc: texas

modesty is one highway to greatness

bahmer

I'll let you know if I ever make greatness.

debeda

Lolololhahahaha Those are GREAT

elledee

nothing like a healthy dose of medicine ......thanks