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CNN: ‘God Allowed The Mueller...
Apr 19, 2019 12:54:09   #
AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State
 
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mueller-report-to-test-our-unshakable-faith-in-collusion

CNN: 'God Allowed The Mueller Report To Test Our Unshakable Faith In Collusion'

ATLANTA, GA—Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. "We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world's teachings get in the way of that," said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.

"If God allowed this report to be written in the manner that it was, He did so to test our unshakable faith in what we know to be true," said Anderson Cooper.

"We believe in the one true Russian collusion, the one that was spoken into t***h and made real far before any evidence was brought before this dark world," added Natalie Allen.

All of the anchors began to speak in unison, reciting their statement of faith with eye closed and hands raised:

We believe the true Mueller Report, regardless of the one released by men.

We believe that there is collusion, eternally existent in the person of Trump and the country of Russia.

We believe in the infallibility of the media, sinless, miraculous. We will redeem humankind.

We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful man, collusion is absolutely essential.

We believe in the collusion of Trump and Russia. All statements and evidence that purports to contradict that t***h are lies of the Dark Lord.

Forever and ever, amen.


The anchors then began speaking in tongues and weeping while tearing at their garments.

Reporters fled after Acosta got out the poisonous snakes.

Reply
Apr 19, 2019 13:17:35   #
bahmer
 
AuntiE wrote:
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mueller-report-to-test-our-unshakable-faith-in-collusion

CNN: 'God Allowed The Mueller Report To Test Our Unshakable Faith In Collusion'

ATLANTA, GA—Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. "We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world's teachings get in the way of that," said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.

"If God allowed this report to be written in the manner that it was, He did so to test our unshakable faith in what we know to be true," said Anderson Cooper.

"We believe in the one true Russian collusion, the one that was spoken into t***h and made real far before any evidence was brought before this dark world," added Natalie Allen.

All of the anchors began to speak in unison, reciting their statement of faith with eye closed and hands raised:

We believe the true Mueller Report, regardless of the one released by men.

We believe that there is collusion, eternally existent in the person of Trump and the country of Russia.

We believe in the infallibility of the media, sinless, miraculous. We will redeem humankind.

We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful man, collusion is absolutely essential.

We believe in the collusion of Trump and Russia. All statements and evidence that purports to contradict that t***h are lies of the Dark Lord.

Forever and ever, amen.


The anchors then began speaking in tongues and weeping while tearing at their garments.

Reporters fled after Acosta got out the poisonous snakes.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mu... (show quote)


AuntiE are you sure that this wasn't written by Slats and the other liberals here on OPP? I mean they are all shaken to the bone and are having a hard time not only accepting that there was no collusion but that they are not going to get rid of President Trump. It is a sad sad day for the liberals here on OPP.

Reply
Apr 19, 2019 14:07:06   #
Noraa Loc: Kansas
 
AuntiE wrote:
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mueller-report-to-test-our-unshakable-faith-in-collusion

CNN: 'God Allowed The Mueller Report To Test Our Unshakable Faith In Collusion'

ATLANTA, GA—Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. "We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world's teachings get in the way of that," said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.

"If God allowed this report to be written in the manner that it was, He did so to test our unshakable faith in what we know to be true," said Anderson Cooper.

"We believe in the one true Russian collusion, the one that was spoken into t***h and made real far before any evidence was brought before this dark world," added Natalie Allen.

All of the anchors began to speak in unison, reciting their statement of faith with eye closed and hands raised:

We believe the true Mueller Report, regardless of the one released by men.

We believe that there is collusion, eternally existent in the person of Trump and the country of Russia.

We believe in the infallibility of the media, sinless, miraculous. We will redeem humankind.

We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful man, collusion is absolutely essential.

We believe in the collusion of Trump and Russia. All statements and evidence that purports to contradict that t***h are lies of the Dark Lord.

Forever and ever, amen.


The anchors then began speaking in tongues and weeping while tearing at their garments.

Reporters fled after Acosta got out the poisonous snakes.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mu... (show quote)



Reply
 
 
Apr 19, 2019 14:07:10   #
woodguru
 
AuntiE wrote:
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mueller-report-to-test-our-unshakable-faith-in-collusion

CNN: 'God Allowed The Mueller Report To Test Our Unshakable Faith In Collusion'

ATLANTA, GA—Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. "We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world's teachings get in the way of that," said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.

"If God allowed this report to be written in the manner that it was, He did so to test our unshakable faith in what we know to be true," said Anderson Cooper.

"We believe in the one true Russian collusion, the one that was spoken into t***h and made real far before any evidence was brought before this dark world," added Natalie Allen.

All of the anchors began to speak in unison, reciting their statement of faith with eye closed and hands raised:

We believe the true Mueller Report, regardless of the one released by men.

We believe that there is collusion, eternally existent in the person of Trump and the country of Russia.

We believe in the infallibility of the media, sinless, miraculous. We will redeem humankind.

We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful man, collusion is absolutely essential.

We believe in the collusion of Trump and Russia. All statements and evidence that purports to contradict that t***h are lies of the Dark Lord.

Forever and ever, amen.


The anchors then began speaking in tongues and weeping while tearing at their garments.

Reporters fled after Acosta got out the poisonous snakes.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mu... (show quote)


Jesus help us, now it's about unshakable faith in Trump lies?

Part 2 is a 170 page indictment, Mueller stated that the DOJ can't/won't indict a sitting president but that congress has the duty to do so.

Reply
Apr 20, 2019 10:44:20   #
youngwilliam Loc: Deep in the heart
 
woodguru wrote:
Jesus help us, now it's about unshakable faith in Trump lies?

Part 2 is a 170 page indictment, Mueller stated that the DOJ can't/won't indict a sitting president but that congress has the duty to do so.


Well, why don't they shut the hell up and try. All you whiny dems are making me ill. Like being at a preschool class before naptime. Your the worst dali-lame.

Reply
Apr 20, 2019 10:52:34   #
nwtk2007 Loc: Texas
 
woodguru wrote:
Jesus help us, now it's about unshakable faith in Trump lies?

Part 2 is a 170 page indictment, Mueller stated that the DOJ can't/won't indict a sitting president but that congress has the duty to do so.


Mueller did not say that.

Reply
Apr 20, 2019 10:53:57   #
nwtk2007 Loc: Texas
 
AuntiE wrote:
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mueller-report-to-test-our-unshakable-faith-in-collusion

CNN: 'God Allowed The Mueller Report To Test Our Unshakable Faith In Collusion'

ATLANTA, GA—Anchors at CNN headquarters have made a bold statement of unwavering faith after the Mueller Report revealed no actual evidence that Trump colluded with Russia. "We believe in collusion with all our hearts and will never let the world's teachings get in the way of that," said Jim Acosta while mumbling mantras quietly in a room misty with burning incense.

"If God allowed this report to be written in the manner that it was, He did so to test our unshakable faith in what we know to be true," said Anderson Cooper.

"We believe in the one true Russian collusion, the one that was spoken into t***h and made real far before any evidence was brought before this dark world," added Natalie Allen.

All of the anchors began to speak in unison, reciting their statement of faith with eye closed and hands raised:

We believe the true Mueller Report, regardless of the one released by men.

We believe that there is collusion, eternally existent in the person of Trump and the country of Russia.

We believe in the infallibility of the media, sinless, miraculous. We will redeem humankind.

We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful man, collusion is absolutely essential.

We believe in the collusion of Trump and Russia. All statements and evidence that purports to contradict that t***h are lies of the Dark Lord.

Forever and ever, amen.


The anchors then began speaking in tongues and weeping while tearing at their garments.

Reporters fled after Acosta got out the poisonous snakes.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-god-allowed-the-mu... (show quote)


The way they act, I could almost believe this to be true! LOL!

Reply
 
 
Apr 20, 2019 13:45:30   #
Wonttakeitanymore
 
woodguru wrote:
Jesus help us, now it's about unshakable faith in Trump lies?

Part 2 is a 170 page indictment, Mueller stated that the DOJ can't/won't indict a sitting president but that congress has the duty to do so.


Jesus will help u see t***h if you truly let him!!happy Easter, the real t***h!

Reply
Apr 20, 2019 13:47:18   #
Wonttakeitanymore
 
CNN doesn’t shake hands with the t***h how would they know God?

Reply
Apr 20, 2019 17:21:40   #
son of witless
 
nwtk2007 wrote:
Mueller did not say that.


Woodguru is lying ?

Reply
Apr 20, 2019 17:51:07   #
Rose42
 
woodguru wrote:
Jesus help us, now it's about unshakable faith in Trump lies?

Part 2 is a 170 page indictment, Mueller stated that the DOJ can't/won't indict a sitting president but that congress has the duty to do so.


That's a satire site. lol

Reply
 
 
Apr 20, 2019 19:25:30   #
nwtk2007 Loc: Texas
 
son of witless wrote:
Woodguru is lying ?


Yes.

Reply
Apr 21, 2019 07:26:06   #
son of witless
 
nwtk2007 wrote:
Yes.


I am shocked. We all pinky swear to always tell the t***h on OPP. I cannot believe anyone would violate that oath.

Reply
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