slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

BadBobby walked into a bar, gave the bartender a conspiratorial wink and says, "Quick, pour me a shot of Jack Daniels, before the trouble starts."
The bartender pours the drink and watches as BB downs it in one gulp.
BB slams the glass down on the bar and says, "Quick, give me another one before the trouble starts."
The bartender pours another glass and the ol' feller drinks it as quickly as he had the first.
BB then pauses, lets out a belch and demands a third drink 'before the trouble starts.'
After several rounds of this, the bartender says, "Look, ya' durn ol' Squid, you've been talking about trouble for ten minutes. Just when is this 'trouble' going to start?"
BadBobby looks at the bartender and grins. "The trouble starts just as soon as you figure out that I don't have any money. Do you take IOUs"

When BadBobby joined the Navy, he was shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the Sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes BadBobby down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
BB didn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
BB exclaims, "Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."

An unnamed old Marine was going in for his physical.
He had celebrated his birthday that weekend.
He took all the tests, the bloodwork and gave all other fluid samples.
He was now waiting for the doctor in an office on the table in a paper outfit.
The doctor came in.
After looking over all the notes, the Marine was asked if he had an active sex life.
Straight-faced, the Marine answered. "Yes, Sir.'
Asked how often, the Marine thought, "I cannot honestly answer that question, Sir."
Turning to look at the Marine he was asked, "Why not?"
Smiling the Marine stated. "One of the samples that were needed, I asked for some assistance. A nice lady came in to help me. Would that count?"
The doctor signed the paperwork and walked out of the office saying, "Get dressed. You're fine."

bahmer

He will retaliate you do know that right?
Otherwise they were all good thanks for the laughs.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Canuckus Deploracus Loc: North of the wall

Your barrel joke opens up a whole new world of humor that I thought was taboo...

Now to see who can buy my loyalty with Texan IOUs

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I caution you from taking any IOUs from Squids of questionable character...meaning all of 'em.

bahmer

Boy you are feeling feisty today aren't you, that must mean that you are on the mend so to speak.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Things are starting to look up. Though not yet 100%, I am well enough to thrash that durn Squid.

bahmer

We shall see.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Hopefully

Seth

Being an ex-coastie boatswain's mate, I have to side with the squid, so:

A sailor and a marine are using side-by-side urinals in the EM club men's room. The squid gets done first, zips up and heads for the door.
The Marine turns his head and growls, "In the Marines they teach us to wash our hands after we take a piss!"
The sailor turns around and replies, "In the Navy, they teach us not to piss on our hands!"

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

I have a high regard for 'Coasties.' IMO, they are vastly underrated and under-aprreciated.

Seth

Thanks