Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

This is the story of a Giant grizzly bear named Thump D**g. Ol' Thump d**g started out as a sweet fuzzy lil' bear cub. He frolicked with the other animals and enjoyed the sun and wildflowers of the meadow where he was born. One day he wandered too far from the den and he caught the eye of Joachim(Wakeen) LaFeet the barefoot fur trapper. Joachim had wanted a bear as a pet for a long time and he finally had his chance. He lassoed the helpless cub and put him in a sack and took him to his cabin deep in the boreal forest. Joachim was mean to him and beat him with a chain and broke one of his fangs then he slammed his front paw in the heavy iron cage door and crippled it for life. Whenever the cub walked on all fours you would hear a Thump-thump-thump. The Canadian authoritys found out Joachim had a pet bear and told him the rules and that he was to keep him in Canadas' back yard -Washington State. So he took little Thumper to Washington and put a shackle on his back leg and attached that to a huge logging chain that he staked to the ground with a long iron bar.. He would leave him that way for a week at a time with no shelter and when he brought him food it was usually some road k**led animal bloated and bloody. Even with all the terrible mistreatment Thumper grew to be of awesome size. One day when Joachim showed up with the road k**l Thumper had reached the boiling point. He slapped Joachim silly with his good paw and ate him in one gulp. He pulled up the iron bar that was holding his chain and left the place of his misery. Thump---D**g --Thump---D**g off he went on his crippled paw and chain on his back leg. He went across Canada k*****g every h**ed human he got close to. Thump -D**g Thump -D**g there was no escape from him. He went down the Rocky mountains and across Idaho and Montana carving a path of fear wherever you could hear the sound--Thump--D**g. He had heard the other bears were eating BadBobbys so he headed to Texas to feast. He soon found out that BadBobbys were too clever and were expert swimmers and he couldn't go in the water after them with all that chain around his leg. Not only that Archie Bunkers grandsons had made up some hot loads for their 243s ( unbeknownst to Archie) and it just made things a bit to uncomfortable for him in Texas. So he took off again across New Mexico and Arizona. The natives there considered him to be sacred and they left him small offerings of food so Thump D**g left them alone. He was headed for California for easy pickins'. He had heard all about the soft Liberals there--A lot of them were vegetarians so they didn't have that gamey taste the rednecks he had been eating had. He knew they were bleeding hearts who had given up their guns and besides the Sierra Club would protect him by any means possible. Thump D**g was HUNGRY. After starving in Texas and living on small scraps in the Southwest he was ready for a serious chow down. He went up and down the length of California tearing people from limb to limb and devouring them whole. He wiped out entire towns as he made his way through California. There was no safe place to hide--Thump -D**g-- Thump --d**g--and he'd get ya. One town he went into had only one road going in or out. Thump D**g went through that town in a frenzy. He ate every single person there and he had eyeballs and veins stuck between his gnarly teeth. There were only two teenagers left alive in the town. A boy and a girl. They were trapped in the town but they had managed to escape Thump D**gs attention. They made a vow to each other that if they got out of this alive that they would repopulate the earth---You know how those liberal Californians are. Then they heard him coming. Thump ---D**gg___Thump--D**gg. Closer and closer--Thump--d**g --Thump --d**gg. They ran down alleys and behind stores but the Giant Grizzly was onto them and he got even closer. Thump--D**g --Thump --D**gg. They could feel his hot breath hitting them as they stood helplessly trapped against a brick wall. Thump D**g---Thump--D**gg there was no way out so the Liberal threw him the girl and ran off------You might think this is the end--well it isn't. The Japanese had heard all about Thump-D**g and concluded that this would make the most Epic Godzilla movie ever. Godzilla vs Thump D**g--sure to be a box office hit. To be continued.----The moral of the story--- Be kind to your pets.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

I keep tellin them boys to stay outta my reloadin stuff!
And they oughta know that a .243 ain't big enough for a pissed off bear.
Guess I'm gonna have to talk to em again.
Anybody who abuses an animal needs to be thumped on the head and d**gged down a rocky road behind Tom's ole Ford pickup!

rumitoid

This is just for me. Breaking that up into a few paragraphs might be good. Funny nonetheless.

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

Glad you liked it. You have my permission to change it up and tell it to your Grandkids. You can make it your own that way

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

I hope your grandsons aren't too mad at me for telling about the hopped up loads.

archie bunker Loc: Texas

Nah! I'll blame it on the Mrs. Then they'll give me more attention.

I teach em cool stuff........she makes brownies.

Give it time, and I'll prevail!

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

You are my kind of Grandad

Kickaha Loc: Nebraska

That is the true battle of the family. Grandma keeps bribing the little ones with goodies meaning Grandpa has to keep thinking up more cool stuff for them. Around here it's pretty much a stand off, although I do lead a little because I keep hinting at something really cool, but they need to be a few years older before I can show them.

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

I taught my nephews how to attach a fishing line to an old purse-set it out in the street and hide in the yard and reel it in when some one tried to pick it up. Kept them laughing for hours. My sister inlaw didn't see the humor in it though

Coos Bay Tom Loc: coos bay oregon

Another revival