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the frog
Feb 21, 2019 13:01:29   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love to fish.

I was sitting in my boat the other day when I heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' I looked around and couldn't see anyone.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard the voice say
again, 'Pick me up.'

I looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

I said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

I looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in my shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

I opened my pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With age - comes wisdom!





Reply
Feb 21, 2019 13:32:29   #
bahmer
 
badbobby wrote:
As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love to fish.

I was sitting in my boat the other day when I heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' I looked around and couldn't see anyone.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard the voice say
again, 'Pick me up.'

I looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

I said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

I looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in my shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

I opened my pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With age - comes wisdom!


As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love t... (show quote)


Amen and Amen if you would have kissed him Mama
would have kicked your but around the block a few
times to teach you a lesson you wouldn't forget.

Reply
Feb 21, 2019 14:09:17   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
badbobby wrote:
As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love to fish.

I was sitting in my boat the other day when I heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' I looked around and couldn't see anyone.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard the voice say
again, 'Pick me up.'

I looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

I said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

I looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in my shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

I opened my pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With age - comes wisdom!


As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love t... (show quote)


I'm almost half your age, and I think having a talking frog would be the coolest thing ever!
I already have a beautiful woman who allows me to live.
I'd just have to treat it like a grandkid, and watch my mouth so's it wouldn't embarrass me in public.

Have some friends with a parrot that did that to them. I'd tell you the story, but the language would be......colorful, at best.
I h**ed that f*#king bird!! Still do!

Reply
 
 
Feb 21, 2019 14:53:02   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
archie bunker wrote:
I'm almost half your age, and I think having a talking frog would be the coolest thing ever!
I already have a beautiful woman who allows me to live.
I'd just have to treat it like a grandkid, and watch my mouth so's it wouldn't embarrass me in public.

Have some friends with a parrot that did that to them. I'd tell you the story, but the language would be......colorful, at best.
I h**ed that f*#king bird!! Still do!
img src="https://static.onepoliticalplaza.com/ima... (show quote)


Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes and an African Grey parrot. the bird would sit on its perch and wait until all three dogs were quietly sleeping and then yell loudly "anyone want to go out" sounding much like the owner. Later when the dogs had quieted down again the bird would yell "dinner time" and make a sound much like dog food landing in a metal bowel. As the dogs ran around barking the bird would sit on its perch laughing. Many a time I wished I could steal the bird, it would have been such fun to have around. That was years ago, the dogs and the bird are all gone now, as is y friend, but the memories linger on, such fun they were.

Reply
Feb 21, 2019 15:04:53   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes and an African Grey parrot. the bird would sit on its perch and wait until all three dogs were quietly sleeping and then yell loudly "anyone want to go out" sounding much like the owner. Later when the dogs had quieted down again the bird would yell "dinner time" and make a sound much like dog food landing in a metal bowel. As the dogs ran around barking the bird would sit on its perch laughing. Many a time I wished I could steal the bird, it would have been such fun to have around. That was years ago, the dogs and the bird are all gone now, as is y friend, but the memories linger on, such fun they were.
Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes... (show quote)


nice story n p

Reply
Feb 21, 2019 18:29:03   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
badbobby wrote:
nice story n p


African Gray Parrots are extremely intelligent. They are not just saying things that have no meaning, they know what they are saying, and have as much thinking ability as a five year old child.

Reply
Feb 21, 2019 18:35:14   #
bahmer
 
no propaganda please wrote:
African Gray Parrots are extremely intelligent. They are not just saying things that have no meaning, they know what they are saying, and have as much thinking ability as a five year old child.


That is awesome thanks for the info.

Reply
 
 
Feb 21, 2019 21:32:53   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
bahmer wrote:
That is awesome thanks for the info.


There is a fascinating book on bird intelligence . It is called "The Intelligence of Birds" and delves into the parrots, among others, and their problem solving abilities.

Reply
Feb 22, 2019 12:18:31   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
no propaganda please wrote:
African Gray Parrots are extremely intelligent. They are not just saying things that have no meaning, they know what they are saying, and have as much thinking ability as a five year old child.

you mean about like Slat's???


Reply
Feb 22, 2019 12:37:17   #
woodguru
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes and an African Grey parrot. the bird would sit on its perch and wait until all three dogs were quietly sleeping and then yell loudly "anyone want to go out" sounding much like the owner. Later when the dogs had quieted down again the bird would yell "dinner time" and make a sound much like dog food landing in a metal bowel. As the dogs ran around barking the bird would sit on its perch laughing. Many a time I wished I could steal the bird, it would have been such fun to have around. That was years ago, the dogs and the bird are all gone now, as is y friend, but the memories linger on, such fun they were.
Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes... (show quote)


We've had a couple of birds that could perfectly mimic the telephone, one in particular liked to see me come running out of my office for the home phone in the kitchen, the asshole would actually laugh at me... sounded like one of those canned laugh boxes. It actually was really funny, but I was forced to get a multiple line wireless phone for my office

Reply
Feb 22, 2019 12:38:49   #
archie bunker Loc: Texas
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes and an African Grey parrot. the bird would sit on its perch and wait until all three dogs were quietly sleeping and then yell loudly "anyone want to go out" sounding much like the owner. Later when the dogs had quieted down again the bird would yell "dinner time" and make a sound much like dog food landing in a metal bowel. As the dogs ran around barking the bird would sit on its perch laughing. Many a time I wished I could steal the bird, it would have been such fun to have around. That was years ago, the dogs and the bird are all gone now, as is y friend, but the memories linger on, such fun they were.
Years ago I had a friend who had three Great Danes... (show quote)


The one my friends have is a Macaw, I think. Big, colorful bird with a potty beak.
Everybody h**es that bird. Even the husband of her owner.
He takes the cover off her cage in the mornong, and says (or used to say) " Mornin Mfer!" With that, and other human interactions, the bird developed quite a vocabulary. She can imitate the sound of a beer can opening so's you can't tell the difference.

She was sent to live at the Botanical Gardens here when it was built since their daughter was the manager.
It only took three groups of school kids on tour to get her expelled for her "colorful" language.

Reply
 
 
Feb 22, 2019 12:49:30   #
woodguru
 
archie bunker wrote:
The one my friends have is a Macaw, I think. Big, colorful bird with a potty beak.
Everybody h**es that bird. Even the husband of her owner.
He takes the cover off her cage in the mornong, and says (or used to say) " Mornin Mfer!" With that, and other human interactions, the bird developed quite a vocabulary. She can imitate the sound of a beer can opening so's you can't tell the difference.

She was sent to live at the Botanical Gardens here when it was built since their daughter was the manager.
It only took three groups of school kids on tour to get her expelled for her "colorful" language.
The one my friends have is a Macaw, I think. Big, ... (show quote)


Perhaps the funniest true life talking bird story (and we have a boatload as my wife is a bird veterinarian) was a guy I knew who had a boardwalk booth at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk. He was given a Macaw that he thought would be a great attraction for his booth. The bird had an extensive repertoire of fat woman jokes and sayings, I kid you not. Not only that, but the bird went into them anytime he saw a heavy set woman. This was a train wreck, and he only took the bird to the boardwalk for two days, the second thinking the bird might tone it down or tire of berating fat women.

You can imagine, there is a heavy set woman walking by and the bird launches into...There she blows...there's a real land whale...it's Moby Dick. I forget them now, but this thing had twenty or thirty, he ended up putting a cover on the cage and listening to it scream profanities.

Reply
Feb 22, 2019 13:21:09   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
woodguru wrote:
Perhaps the funniest true life talking bird story (and we have a boatload as my wife is a bird veterinarian) was a guy I knew who had a boardwalk booth at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk. He was given a Macaw that he thought would be a great attraction for his booth. The bird had an extensive repertoire of fat woman jokes and sayings, I kid you not. Not only that, but the bird went into them anytime he saw a heavy set woman. This was a train wreck, and he only took the bird to the boardwalk for two days, the second thinking the bird might tone it down or tire of berating fat women.

You can imagine, there is a heavy set woman walking by and the bird launches into...There she blows...there's a real land whale...it's Moby Dick. I forget them now, but this thing had twenty or thirty, he ended up putting a cover on the cage and listening to it scream profanities.
Perhaps the funniest true life talking bird story ... (show quote)


ain't it amusin
what a lil joke bout a frog
will end up as??


Reply
Feb 22, 2019 13:36:28   #
debeda
 
badbobby wrote:
As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love to fish.

I was sitting in my boat the other day when I heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' I looked around and couldn't see anyone.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard the voice say
again, 'Pick me up.'

I looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

I said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

I looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in my shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

I opened my pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With age - comes wisdom!


As a 92 year old man I have one hobby - I love t... (show quote)


Lolololololololhahahahahaha GOOD one

Reply
Feb 22, 2019 13:46:46   #
woodguru
 
badbobby wrote:
ain't it amusin
what a lil joke bout a frog
will end up as??



There isn't much funnier than real life humor...

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