Man Forced To Apologize For...
Feb 20, 2019 13:47:20 #
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-forced-to-apologize-for-wh**ever-he-did-in-wifes-dream-last-night
Man Forced To Apologize For Wh**ever He Did In Wife's Dream Last Night
February 19th, 2019
KANSAS CITY, MO—After a lengthy dispute with his wife this morning, local man Lee Branscom expressed his great sorrow and regret over wh**ever he did in her dream last night that had her so ticked off at him, sources confirmed Tuesday.
He attempted reasoning with her, using the "lame excuse" that he had no control over what dream Lee does, but after that failed, he resigned himself to apologizing for every action of the imaginary version of himself.
"Honey, I know in your dream I hijacked a school bus, blew up the Empire State Building, and c***ted on you with every other eligible woman in America, and for that, I am deeply sorry," he said, putting his arm around her. "What else did I do again? Well, wh**ever it was, I apologize."
“I love you so much, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you in that way," he said.
“I'm just not really sure you mean it," she replied. "You don't seem like you really regret telling me you're leaving me to join the UFC and then laughing as your head turned into a hot air balloon and you vomited out hundreds of 1-Up mushrooms and then disappeared down a green pipe."
She insisted that Branscom list off each of the things his dream self did and apologize for them individually.
Branscom and his wife have made up, but he's reportedly "really worried" about what the fictional version of himself will do tonight.
Man Forced To Apologize For Wh**ever He Did In Wife's Dream Last Night
February 19th, 2019
KANSAS CITY, MO—After a lengthy dispute with his wife this morning, local man Lee Branscom expressed his great sorrow and regret over wh**ever he did in her dream last night that had her so ticked off at him, sources confirmed Tuesday.
He attempted reasoning with her, using the "lame excuse" that he had no control over what dream Lee does, but after that failed, he resigned himself to apologizing for every action of the imaginary version of himself.
"Honey, I know in your dream I hijacked a school bus, blew up the Empire State Building, and c***ted on you with every other eligible woman in America, and for that, I am deeply sorry," he said, putting his arm around her. "What else did I do again? Well, wh**ever it was, I apologize."
“I love you so much, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you in that way," he said.
“I'm just not really sure you mean it," she replied. "You don't seem like you really regret telling me you're leaving me to join the UFC and then laughing as your head turned into a hot air balloon and you vomited out hundreds of 1-Up mushrooms and then disappeared down a green pipe."
She insisted that Branscom list off each of the things his dream self did and apologize for them individually.
Branscom and his wife have made up, but he's reportedly "really worried" about what the fictional version of himself will do tonight.
Feb 20, 2019 14:07:55 #
AuntiE wrote:
To bad we can't wake up in the morning and realized we dreamed Democrat Socialist.
Feb 20, 2019 14:25:24 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
AuntiE wrote:
UncleE really has his hands full with you, doesn't he.
The poor son-of-a-gun. 
Feb 20, 2019 14:36:21 #
slatten49 wrote: UncleE really has his hands full with you, doesn't he. The poor son-of-a-gun.
UncleE really has his hands full with you, doesn't he. The poor son-of-a-gun. 
Feb 20, 2019 15:55:54 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
badbob85037 wrote:
To bad we can't wake up in the morning and realized we dreamed Democrat Socialist.
You would be even happier if you dreamed full Marxist Socialism were now the law of the land in America.
Feb 20, 2019 16:18:01 #
no propaganda please wrote:
You would be even happier if you dreamed full Marxist Socialism were now the law of the land in America.
In fact, I just this minute created a thread cartoon for that idea.
Feb 20, 2019 17:01:23 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Not necessary, AuntiE, as I already have The Sgt. Major trained fairly well. 
Feb 20, 2019 17:06:21 #
slatten49 wrote:
Not necessary, AuntiE, as I already have The Sgt. Major trained fairly well.
Would you say that when she could hear it?
Feb 20, 2019 17:13:32 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Rose42 wrote:
Would you say that when she could hear it?
The lovely Sgt. Major is, as it happens, in town with my cousin Mary...but, I'll tell her when she gets home.
Unless I forget. Feb 20, 2019 17:17:04 #
slatten49 wrote:
The lovely Sgt. Major is, as it happens, in town with my cousin Mary...but, I'll tell her when she gets home. Unless I forget.
Unless I forget. Feb 20, 2019 20:12:35 #
Rose42 wrote:
Would you say that when she could hear it?
Not if he valued his physical health!
Feb 20, 2019 20:33:54 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
AuntiE wrote:
Not if he valued his physical health!
Have you been talking to my Sgt. Major, instigating once again 
Feb 20, 2019 20:53:57 #
slatten49 wrote: Have you been talking to my Sgt. Major, instigating once again
Have you been talking to my Sgt. Major, instigating once again She and I have a great understanding.
Feb 20, 2019 22:59:00 #
slatten49
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
AuntiE wrote:
She and I have a great understanding.
I'm gon'na correct her 'understanding' of you. With extreme prejudice.
Feb 21, 2019 17:46:16 #
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