Our New Navy
May 7, 2014 01:26:31 #
The Department of Defense (DOD) is proud to announce a new fleet of class 69 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships USS Daring and USS Dauntless, the naming committee, after intensive pressure from Congress, renamed them USS Cautious and USS Prudent. The next 5 ships are to be USS Empathy, USS circumspect, USS Nervous, USS Timorous and USS Apologist.
Costing $850 million each, they comply with the very latest employment, e******y, health and safety and human rights laws. The U S Navy fully expects any future enemy to be decent and to comply with the same high standards of our behavior.
The viewer friendly stacks will be painted in the "gay p***e" colors, and live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims.
Stress counselors and lawyers will be on board, as will a union representative for each of the trades on board.
The crew will be 50-50 men and women and will contain the correct balance of race, g****r, sexuality and disability.
Sailors will only work a maximum of 40 hours per week as per union rules on working hours, time and a half for overtime and double time for Sundays and holidays, even in wartime.
All the vessels are equipped with a maternity ward and a gay disco.
Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but recreational cannabis will be allowed in ward rooms and messes.
Saluting of officers is now considered elitist and has been replaced by "hi sailor."
All information on notice boards will be in 37 different languages.
Crew members will now have permission to grow beards and mustaches. This applies equally to female crew.
A majority of Senators have suggested a "non-specific" f**g because the current "stars and stripes" may offend some nations during port calls. The newly renamed USS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by Muslim cleric from the Washington, DC Mosque who will detonate a small explosive device near the hull. As the ship slides into the sea, the Marine Corps band will play "In The Navy" by the village people.
Her first deployment will be to escort boat loads of i*****l i*******ts to ports on the East Coast.
The president said "our ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking and they will always be able to comply with any new legislation from the UN." His final words were, "I told you there would be change."
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Costing $850 million each, they comply with the very latest employment, e******y, health and safety and human rights laws. The U S Navy fully expects any future enemy to be decent and to comply with the same high standards of our behavior.
The viewer friendly stacks will be painted in the "gay p***e" colors, and live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims.
Stress counselors and lawyers will be on board, as will a union representative for each of the trades on board.
The crew will be 50-50 men and women and will contain the correct balance of race, g****r, sexuality and disability.
Sailors will only work a maximum of 40 hours per week as per union rules on working hours, time and a half for overtime and double time for Sundays and holidays, even in wartime.
All the vessels are equipped with a maternity ward and a gay disco.
Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but recreational cannabis will be allowed in ward rooms and messes.
Saluting of officers is now considered elitist and has been replaced by "hi sailor."
All information on notice boards will be in 37 different languages.
Crew members will now have permission to grow beards and mustaches. This applies equally to female crew.
A majority of Senators have suggested a "non-specific" f**g because the current "stars and stripes" may offend some nations during port calls. The newly renamed USS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by Muslim cleric from the Washington, DC Mosque who will detonate a small explosive device near the hull. As the ship slides into the sea, the Marine Corps band will play "In The Navy" by the village people.
Her first deployment will be to escort boat loads of i*****l i*******ts to ports on the East Coast.
The president said "our ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking and they will always be able to comply with any new legislation from the UN." His final words were, "I told you there would be change."
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
May 7, 2014 07:22:39 #
May 7, 2014 08:58:51 #
NanaSue57 wrote:
:!: :!: :!:
MY, that was scrumptious! Darndest part was, at first I thought you were SERIOUS! And, I'll bet I'm not alone! :lol: :lol: :lol:
May 7, 2014 09:26:58 #
carolyn wrote:
The Department of Defense (DOD) is proud to announ... (show quote)
Did I detect a NeoCon?
May 7, 2014 09:26:58 #
carolyn wrote:
The Department of Defense (DOD) is proud to announ... (show quote)
Did I detect a NeoCon?
May 7, 2014 10:09:17 #
Paul Andy wrote:
MY, that was scrumptious! Darndest part was, at first I thought you were SERIOUS! And, I'll bet I'm not alone! :lol: :lol: :lol:
I posted this for the benefit of Kevyn, who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing. I can about see his reaction to that one. What color is a mixture between Red, Blue and Purple?
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