I never thought we would have to work this hard to struggle to get by.
Dec 8, 2018 22:03:28 #
Dec 7, 2018
I Am 37 Years Old And I Live Paycheck To Paycheck
Like so many Americans, we struggle to get by each and every month.
My heart raced as I scrolled through the “recent activity” shown on my online banking app.
I was alternating between the deposits that had been made into our account and the Excel spreadsheet I use to balance our household budget. Our family of four usually gets up close and personal with the zero balance in our checking account toward the end of the month, so I go over these figures every week before we head out to buy groceries.
Only this week, something wasn’t adding up. There was a $200 hole where the remainder of our grocery budget should have been.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what happened. My husband’s regular paychecks had been deposited like normal, but a large chunk of my income was missing. I am self-employed as a writer, which has many perks for our family. It allows us to save on child care expenses while still giving me the ability to earn a living. It also works with our schedules, since my husband works second shift. I can put in a few hours in the morning before he leaves and then again at night once he is home and everyone is asleep.
The obvious downside is that my paychecks aren’t as reliable, and if a client is late (or doesn’t pay at all), it throws off our entire budget ― sometimes to the point that we don’t have any money left.
Despite the fact that my husband and I are both gainfully employed, our family lives paycheck to paycheck. We earn enough to put food on the table, and our two small children have everything they need, but some months we barely scrape by. We’re always just one emergency expense away from being completely wiped out. And emergencies do happen. It’s how we got here in the first place.
Two years ago, we had a very healthy savings account and little credit card debt to speak of. Then we had a run of bad luck ― a pipe burst in our boiler right before Christmas, then we had an unrelated plumbing issue with our kitchen sink. In the past two years, we’ve needed to make two separate after-hours calls to electricians. And last year, my husband had a medical emergency that required him to take time off work and eventually undergo dental surgery. Our savings dissolved and our credit card debt quickly mounted.
We adjusted our spending as we went, but we had passed the point of no return, and we couldn’t seem to get back on track. We canceled our cable and whittled down our expenses to just the basics. We stopped shopping at name-brand retailers and began buying our food at discount grocery stores, trading our daughters’ boxes of Cheerios for “toasted oat circles.”
With these habits, we’ve managed to scrape by each month, but now, with a portion of my income missing, we were going to need to get extra creative.
I made some hard decisions and decided our best bet was going to be making our credit card payments a few days late during the “grace period” when it wouldn’t impact our credit score.
This would give me the wiggle room I needed to keep the lights on and make sure we had enough left for groceries. I combined the remaining available balances on our credit cards, used that to pay the electric bill, and then I crossed my fingers that nothing else would come up that month. Fortunately, nothing else did, and we managed to get by until the next direct deposit hit our bank account.
Then, we started the same cycle all over again ― except we were starting even further in the hole than we had the month before. One thing we don’t talk about enough is how expensive it is to be broke. Our credit card payments all had late fees added onto them. And when one of my client’s handwritten checks didn’t clear before some of the checks I had written to cover our expenses did, our bank account was suddenly overdrawn. Before I knew it, we had accrued over $300 worth of fees and penalties.
Like so many Americans, we struggle to get by each and every month. The compounding interest we rack up by always being a breath away from being broke plays a large role in that. We pay interest on purchases that we can’t afford to pay out of pocket in the moment (like our electric bill when my pay was short last month), and then we pay late fees when we have to take advantage of that grace period. Our monthly payments never go down because we can’t get out in front of any of it.
All of this has a psychological and emotional impact. I’m constantly running our budget through my mind, trying to reassure myself that the numbers will work out this month. I’m never not thinking about money. I dread going to the store or having to buy gas because each purchase moves us closer back down to that zero balance. The anxiety over our finances never goes away.
We’re trying to get back on our feet, though. We account for every dollar we make, and we don’t make any purchases without carefully considering our finances. It is just impossible to get ahead when every month seems to bring us a new setback ― a sewage backup in our basement, a visit to urgent care, our growing children who need new shoes. Every step we take forward is followed by two steps backward and it’s exhausting . There’s no catching up when you’re behind; you just struggle to maintain.
These setbacks also prevent us from staying on top of the things that will eventually turn into more emergencies if we don’t manage them now ― the dental work that I’m putting off until we are more financially stable, the routine maintenance on our boiler that we had to forgo this year. Being unable to stay on top of even these small things just cause our expenses to snowball down the line. Our financial situation also makes me extra aware of the moments that I feel like most other families take for granted ― a night out to eat, renting a movie, an impulse candy bar purchase in the checkout line.
The upcoming holidays are only complicating our situation. While most of the people we know spent Black Friday perusing retail sales or waiting in long lines to buy discounted items, I spent it looking over our budget again to try to see whether we’ll be able to swing a Christmas tree this year. Will there be enough in our account to splurge and hang Christmas lights outside? While I am confident that we will be able to put gifts under the tree for our daughters, I’m less confident about what situation we’ll find ourselves in come January, and every month after that.
I worry about our finances all the time, but the thought that keeps me up at night is, What’s going to happen when the month comes that we can’t make it all work ?
The month when we can’t pay all of our bills and our credit takes a hit?
What if we default on our mortgage?
What if I get sick and can’t work?
What if my husband loses his job, which provides our health insurance?
What if, what if, what if?
I spent a decade working in the finance industry, so I know exactly what we should be doing to fix our situation. I used to be that person brimming with advice on how to make the “easy fixes” to get back on track. It is so much easier to present solutions when you are on the outside looking in. Unfortunately, what most people don’t understand, what I didn’t understand back then, is that what we should be doing and what we can actually do are two very different things.
I never thought at 37 years old I’d be stretching every dollar each month. I never thought we would have to work this hard to struggle to get by.
I feel frustrated and embarrassed, but I also feel extremely lucky, because we do have a safety net. I have parents who are willing and able to help me out on those months where I just can’t stretch our money any further. We have resources. Our credit cards may be maxed out, but our bills are paid every month.
There are so many people out there who don’t actually know where their next meal will come from, who don’t know where they will sleep tonight, and I am lucky enough to be worrying about whether we’ll be able to afford a Christmas tree. I know how privileged we are. Even in these moments when it feels like we have nothing, I know there are people out there who dream of a day that they can have everything that we do.
I just wish it was a little bit easier for all of us .
By: Lauren Wellbank
Do you have a personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch !
I Am 37 Years Old And I Live Paycheck To Paycheck
Like so many Americans, we struggle to get by each and every month.
My heart raced as I scrolled through the “recent activity” shown on my online banking app.
I was alternating between the deposits that had been made into our account and the Excel spreadsheet I use to balance our household budget. Our family of four usually gets up close and personal with the zero balance in our checking account toward the end of the month, so I go over these figures every week before we head out to buy groceries.
Only this week, something wasn’t adding up. There was a $200 hole where the remainder of our grocery budget should have been.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what happened. My husband’s regular paychecks had been deposited like normal, but a large chunk of my income was missing. I am self-employed as a writer, which has many perks for our family. It allows us to save on child care expenses while still giving me the ability to earn a living. It also works with our schedules, since my husband works second shift. I can put in a few hours in the morning before he leaves and then again at night once he is home and everyone is asleep.
The obvious downside is that my paychecks aren’t as reliable, and if a client is late (or doesn’t pay at all), it throws off our entire budget ― sometimes to the point that we don’t have any money left.
Despite the fact that my husband and I are both gainfully employed, our family lives paycheck to paycheck. We earn enough to put food on the table, and our two small children have everything they need, but some months we barely scrape by. We’re always just one emergency expense away from being completely wiped out. And emergencies do happen. It’s how we got here in the first place.
Two years ago, we had a very healthy savings account and little credit card debt to speak of. Then we had a run of bad luck ― a pipe burst in our boiler right before Christmas, then we had an unrelated plumbing issue with our kitchen sink. In the past two years, we’ve needed to make two separate after-hours calls to electricians. And last year, my husband had a medical emergency that required him to take time off work and eventually undergo dental surgery. Our savings dissolved and our credit card debt quickly mounted.
We adjusted our spending as we went, but we had passed the point of no return, and we couldn’t seem to get back on track. We canceled our cable and whittled down our expenses to just the basics. We stopped shopping at name-brand retailers and began buying our food at discount grocery stores, trading our daughters’ boxes of Cheerios for “toasted oat circles.”
With these habits, we’ve managed to scrape by each month, but now, with a portion of my income missing, we were going to need to get extra creative.
I made some hard decisions and decided our best bet was going to be making our credit card payments a few days late during the “grace period” when it wouldn’t impact our credit score.
This would give me the wiggle room I needed to keep the lights on and make sure we had enough left for groceries. I combined the remaining available balances on our credit cards, used that to pay the electric bill, and then I crossed my fingers that nothing else would come up that month. Fortunately, nothing else did, and we managed to get by until the next direct deposit hit our bank account.
Then, we started the same cycle all over again ― except we were starting even further in the hole than we had the month before. One thing we don’t talk about enough is how expensive it is to be broke. Our credit card payments all had late fees added onto them. And when one of my client’s handwritten checks didn’t clear before some of the checks I had written to cover our expenses did, our bank account was suddenly overdrawn. Before I knew it, we had accrued over $300 worth of fees and penalties.
Like so many Americans, we struggle to get by each and every month. The compounding interest we rack up by always being a breath away from being broke plays a large role in that. We pay interest on purchases that we can’t afford to pay out of pocket in the moment (like our electric bill when my pay was short last month), and then we pay late fees when we have to take advantage of that grace period. Our monthly payments never go down because we can’t get out in front of any of it.
All of this has a psychological and emotional impact. I’m constantly running our budget through my mind, trying to reassure myself that the numbers will work out this month. I’m never not thinking about money. I dread going to the store or having to buy gas because each purchase moves us closer back down to that zero balance. The anxiety over our finances never goes away.
We’re trying to get back on our feet, though. We account for every dollar we make, and we don’t make any purchases without carefully considering our finances. It is just impossible to get ahead when every month seems to bring us a new setback ― a sewage backup in our basement, a visit to urgent care, our growing children who need new shoes. Every step we take forward is followed by two steps backward and it’s exhausting . There’s no catching up when you’re behind; you just struggle to maintain.
These setbacks also prevent us from staying on top of the things that will eventually turn into more emergencies if we don’t manage them now ― the dental work that I’m putting off until we are more financially stable, the routine maintenance on our boiler that we had to forgo this year. Being unable to stay on top of even these small things just cause our expenses to snowball down the line. Our financial situation also makes me extra aware of the moments that I feel like most other families take for granted ― a night out to eat, renting a movie, an impulse candy bar purchase in the checkout line.
The upcoming holidays are only complicating our situation. While most of the people we know spent Black Friday perusing retail sales or waiting in long lines to buy discounted items, I spent it looking over our budget again to try to see whether we’ll be able to swing a Christmas tree this year. Will there be enough in our account to splurge and hang Christmas lights outside? While I am confident that we will be able to put gifts under the tree for our daughters, I’m less confident about what situation we’ll find ourselves in come January, and every month after that.
I worry about our finances all the time, but the thought that keeps me up at night is, What’s going to happen when the month comes that we can’t make it all work ?
The month when we can’t pay all of our bills and our credit takes a hit?
What if we default on our mortgage?
What if I get sick and can’t work?
What if my husband loses his job, which provides our health insurance?
What if, what if, what if?
I spent a decade working in the finance industry, so I know exactly what we should be doing to fix our situation. I used to be that person brimming with advice on how to make the “easy fixes” to get back on track. It is so much easier to present solutions when you are on the outside looking in. Unfortunately, what most people don’t understand, what I didn’t understand back then, is that what we should be doing and what we can actually do are two very different things.
I never thought at 37 years old I’d be stretching every dollar each month. I never thought we would have to work this hard to struggle to get by.
I feel frustrated and embarrassed, but I also feel extremely lucky, because we do have a safety net. I have parents who are willing and able to help me out on those months where I just can’t stretch our money any further. We have resources. Our credit cards may be maxed out, but our bills are paid every month.
There are so many people out there who don’t actually know where their next meal will come from, who don’t know where they will sleep tonight, and I am lucky enough to be worrying about whether we’ll be able to afford a Christmas tree. I know how privileged we are. Even in these moments when it feels like we have nothing, I know there are people out there who dream of a day that they can have everything that we do.
I just wish it was a little bit easier for all of us .
By: Lauren Wellbank
Do you have a personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch !
Dec 8, 2018 22:15:41 #
Comment
Loc: California
Sicilianthing wrote:
Dec 7, 2018 br br I Am 37 Years Old And I Live Pa... (show quote)
If U are in need of food I will feed U. If you need shelter I will house U. Only if U work to better your status.
Dec 8, 2018 22:28:42 #
Comment wrote:
If U are in need of food I will feed U. If you need shelter I will house U. Only if U work to better your status.
>>>
Ha ok noted and Thank You but I’m fine for now... I caught this story off one of my alerts today...
You see no matter who I talk to in business and personal no one is making any real money...
I know people with deep 6 digit incomes and they’re doing better than most obviously
but i have friends with 200 and 300K incomes and they can’t keep up with the debt they have and the mortgages and everything else...
Then it’s everyone else who make 120K
80K
60K and less that are really fked !
Inflation is totally out of control... prices are through the roof on everything...
so anyone’s tiny income raise is a bullcrap to adjusted inflation models...
It’s like 1970 all over again.
Nothing has changed, it’s all relative.
I will recap this again in the Spring... I’m waiting for end of year data and then the new data in Feb and March to conclude my observations that we are in an extended recession that never recovered and the economy is actually now Fragmenting apart slowly.
Until Trump gets control of the FED and the Power of the Purse, nothing will change...
The controlled demolition continues by the banking families.
It’s the 100year shuffle for the 7th dynasty to Alexander de Rothschilds... consolidating the Global wealth and staying in power for another 100years...
Will Trump take them out or has he lost his balls ?
Dec 9, 2018 01:58:13 #
Comment
Loc: California
Sicilianthing wrote:
>>> br br Ha ok noted and Thank You but ... (show quote)
I am confident that U will understand what I am about to say> It ant what U make, but what U spend. I have a 6 figure bank account but I live like I have nothing. Females avoid me like I have the plague. So be it. I don't want their kind a anyhow.
Dec 9, 2018 06:00:25 #
Comment wrote:
I am confident that U will understand what I am about to say> It ant what U make, but what U spend. I have a 6 figure bank account but I live like I have nothing. Females avoid me like I have the plague. So be it. I don't want their kind a anyhow.
Well said.
I worked odd jobs in the neighbourhood, cleaning windows and screens, mowing lawns, anything, until I was 16 and got a regular part time job. The community I grew up in advocated saving 25% of gross income and live within what was left. So while colleagues rented nice apartments, I lived in a second hand (or 3rd or 4th hand) mobile home that I owned outright.
I have never regretted that philosophy.
Something that everyone can do that owns a residence is to grow your own food. A grassed lawn is a total waste of time and money. Convert that ground into a Permaculture garden. There are plenty of free videos available on ‘how to’ and Heritage seeds are cheaper than you think and a great investment. Three or four backyard hens will convert kitchen waste into eggs, ‘till your next garden patch and provide amusement. Quail and rabbits are quiet and can provide all the protein a family needs.
These are lifestyle choices that can save a lot off the monthly food bill.
Dec 9, 2018 07:47:10 #
Sicilianthing wrote:
Dec 7, 2018 br br I Am 37 Years Old And I Live Pa... (show quote)
i do not want my story published .but i thought you was a man 1st off .no matter .i had to retire b/c of my health after all my bills i only have around 300.00 to spend for a whole month ..i got rid of direct.v they wanted almost 100.00 for there service .then i had a alarm Co called vivnt there product only lasted 4 months it broke i never liked it after having 4 months so i got a deal sort of small to me after paying for it for 4 yrs & not working . i had to pay 53.99 $ for it i complained to the BBB so i got that deal .i will never get that again any of them ..i figured out having soup in a big pot can go along way & is fairly cheap chicken noodle soup & aslo peanut butter sandwich to 2 of them works out earlier when summer was around i had a lot of okra & fried chicken breast to i had 14 okra plants & also had green beans & pole beans sometimes .so all most of what i did was buy the meat .so that helped out .to the government i get to much $ to go on food stamps they dont consider at all the credit card & over draft fee's ..if i did not have extra $$ i put in new thermo windows ..cut the gas down about maybe 30$ a month so i am going to try something i hope works out ..the left over storm windows i have
i am going to make frames out of them with wood i bought & hope that works then i can increase the efficiency & make it so i can remove them fairly easy ..i do still have some draft coming in so i do that might really help ..the gas bill was 103 .but i think use to it was 132-00 a month .the cold really has not hit yet like down to 0 which it does i am going to keep it down to between 65 to 69 * .so i do not know if you are lauren or someone else .sorry for what you have to go thru .but being creative does help & i really believe praying to god to give you the wisdom for what you are going thru ..i really very much know that he does help ..my mom had dementia i asked for his help with her & got it ..in dec of 2016 my mom stayed in bed & i kinda knew why was low on her food intake to survive so i gave her what she needed ..& a week later she stayed out of bed more then by jan 5th she lived normally then in june 2017 she stayed in bed then kept staying in bed but going to the dr or when my sister came over then aprile 2018 she passed ..so that is some of my way to try to make it ..
Dec 9, 2018 07:52:14 #
Comment wrote:
I am confident that U will understand what I am about to say> It ant what U make, but what U spend. I have a 6 figure bank account but I live like I have nothing. Females avoid me like I have the plague. So be it. I don't want their kind a anyhow.
i like to have one but you can never know what they will do if there not happy they will divorce or anything there gonna divorce ..seems like they want a rich person well they should find one instead of getting there hopes up for nothing
Dec 9, 2018 11:22:42 #
Comment wrote:
I am confident that U will understand what I am about to say> It ant what U make, but what U spend. I have a 6 figure bank account but I live like I have nothing. Females avoid me like I have the plague. So be it. I don't want their kind a anyhow.
>>>
Then we are 2, I am like you... indeed, females usually avoid me because of my seriously tight frugalness.
I understand.
I’ve made a lot of money in my life and blown it too... but i’ve Taken some serious bumps along the way because of FED and market conditions etc...
More later.
Dec 9, 2018 11:29:26 #
meridianlesilie wrote:
i do not want my story published .but i thought yo... (show quote)
>>>
Yes I understand, many people I know are doing what you’re doing, cutting way way way back... that’s my point...
The Economic recovery is false...
they’re lying to everyone and Trump should be ashamed of taking these figures his data agencies show him...
No, I’m not Lauren... she wrote it...
Yes I’m a man
A Patriot
A Veteran
A Pissed of TrueBloodline American who’s waiting for Go Time along with plenty others to take our Country back.
Trump is the Final Lap before we fight, I hope he has the balls to take down the Federal Reserve and Big Banking Families to return our wealth and prosperity, but I doubt it...
Trump is most likely just the Bell Ringer and on April Fools I’m going to prove it, that’s it, we’re calling it in.
Dec 9, 2018 11:30:12 #
meridianlesilie wrote:
i like to have one but you can never know what they will do if there not happy they will divorce or anything there gonna divorce ..seems like they want a rich person well they should find one instead of getting there hopes up for nothing
>>>
Most of them are all Gold Diggers Leslie..
Dec 9, 2018 11:59:51 #
Sicilianthing wrote:
Dec 7, 2018 br br I Am 37 Years Old And I Live Pa... (show quote)
"By the sweat of thy brow shalt thou eat bread."
It's a good thing God softened the curse by giving us satisfaction in our hard work.
The middle class has had its pockets picked by the political elite for decades, now.
Dec 9, 2018 12:04:23 #
BigMike wrote:
"By the sweat of thy brow shalt thou eat bread."
It's a good thing God softened the curse by giving us satisfaction in our hard work.
The middle class has had its pockets picked by the political elite for decades, now.
It's a good thing God softened the curse by giving us satisfaction in our hard work.
The middle class has had its pockets picked by the political elite for decades, now.
>>>
The middle class are to blame
The middle class is Fat, lazy, complacent and stupid !
Dec 9, 2018 15:27:56 #
Sicilianthing wrote:
Dec 7, 2018 br br I Am 37 Years Old And I Live Pa... (show quote)
Yep. Been there, done that, except never was able to get a home, rents go up and up and up and landlords don't like to take a chance on single moms with 4 kids, and no parents to help.out. BUT things do work out if you just keep plugging. Kids are all doing well, grandchildren all healthy and now that I work just to support me, finances are significantly better. I get what these folks say, tho. For me school starting and Christmastime were the most stressful times of the year.
Dec 9, 2018 15:28:39 #
Comment wrote:
If U are in need of food I will feed U. If you need shelter I will house U. Only if U work to better your status.
Dec 9, 2018 15:32:58 #
BigMike wrote:
"By the sweat of thy brow shalt thou eat bread."
It's a good thing God softened the curse by giving us satisfaction in our hard work.
The middle class has had its pockets picked by the political elite for decades, now.
It's a good thing God softened the curse by giving us satisfaction in our hard work.
The middle class has had its pockets picked by the political elite for decades, now.
TRUE STORY Mike
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