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A U.S. Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Manitowish Waters, WI.
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Sep 13, 2018 12:43:16   #
bahmer
 
eagleye13 wrote:
A U.S. Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Manitowish Waters, WI.

He says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever living crap out of a f**g burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester."

The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."


Amen and Amen

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Sep 13, 2018 17:16:26   #
Carol Kelly
 
moldyoldy wrote:
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good,” says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump answers: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."


A priest and a rabbi are arguing over the meaning of a word. They cannot seem to get anywhere, and finally the rabbi says to the priest “Look, Father.. we aren’t getting anywhere with this, maybe we need a different perspective… let’s ask the Imam!” The priest agrees and they go to the mosque.
“Please, Reverend Imam,” says the priest “We’ve been arguing all day long over this. Maybe you can help us!”
“Help you with what?” the Imam asks.
“Help us answer this question,” says the rabbi “What is the difference between an accident and a mistake?”
The Imam thinks for a moment, goes and studies the Qur’an, and returns “Well, gentlemen,” he says “I can best explain it this way: Donald Trump is walking down a street when a car careens out of control, and plows into him, turning him into sidewalk pizza. That is an accident.”
The two men nod “Continue,” says the priest.
“Well, then the President is walking down the same street, and a car is approaching… the driver recognizes Trump, he hits the brake and manages to avoid striking him… And that, gentlemen… is a mistake!”


During a dull White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!"

“Very impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean”
"Oh, I know", replied Melania, “but neither does the parrot."
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"... (show quote)


You have a twisted sense of humor,too.

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Sep 13, 2018 17:16:58   #
Carol Kelly
 
bahmer wrote:
Amen and Amen


Sent this to a former Marine friend.

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Sep 13, 2018 17:19:29   #
woodguru
 
moldyoldy wrote:

During a dull White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!"

“Very impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean”
"Oh, I know", replied Melania, “but neither does the parrot."


There's my favorite, nice one

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Sep 13, 2018 19:05:04   #
crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island
 
eagleye13 wrote:
A U.S. Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Manitowish Waters, WI.

He says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever living crap out of a f**g burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester."

The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."



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