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Cowboy Jokes
Aug 19, 2018 12:02:11   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
Cowboy Jokes

One Eyed Old Cowboy

A one eyed old cowboy named Buck was riding on the range with his trusted horse Charcoal. Buck had lost an eye in the Indian wars and had a glass eye. He was riding close to a deep canyon one day when a rattle snake scared ol Charcoal and he reared up on his hind legs. Buck said whoa Charcoal whoa Charcoal were close to the cliff, 500 foot drop off Charcoal.
Charcoal settled down and then a prairie dog startled Charcoal again and again Charcoal reared up on his hind legs Buck again said whoa Charcoal whoa Charcoal were close to the cliff, 500 foot drop off Charcoal.
No sooner did Charcoal get settled down than a hawk going after the prairie dog scared Charcoal again and this time they were right on the edge of the cliff. Buck said whoa Charcoal 500 foot drop off Charcoal, then Buck took his glass eye out, stuck it under Charcoal's tail and said see for yourself Charcoal.
******************************************************************************

Blind Cowboy in a Biker Bar

An old, blind cowboy wandered into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, " Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to the old blind cowboy says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five important things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl who's holding a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl with a billy-club.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blond joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!

kinda reminds me of what I experience when telling a joke to liberals
********************************************************************

WHO'S THE TOUGHEST OLD COWBOY...

Some old cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome prairie
and with the p***e for which these men were famous, it was a night of bravado,
rot gut whiskey, and many tall tales.


Frank, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest
cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored
six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and
castrated that sucker with my teeth."


Snake River Ben, from Idaho, couldn't stand to be bested. "That's nothing! I was
walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattler slid out from
under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands,
bit off its head and sucked the poison down in one gulp - didn't even get a belly ache."


Old Red River Bill, the cowboy from Texas, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker...











Reply
Aug 19, 2018 12:07:41   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Cowboy Jokes

One Eyed Old Cowboy

A one eyed old cowboy named Buck was riding on the range with his trusted horse Charcoal. Buck had lost an eye in the Indian wars and had a glass eye. He was riding close to a deep canyon one day when a rattle snake scared ol Charcoal and he reared up on his hind legs. Buck said whoa Charcoal whoa Charcoal were close to the cliff, 500 foot drop off Charcoal.
Charcoal settled down and then a prairie dog startled Charcoal again and again Charcoal reared up on his hind legs Buck again said whoa Charcoal whoa Charcoal were close to the cliff, 500 foot drop off Charcoal.
No sooner did Charcoal get settled down than a hawk going after the prairie dog scared Charcoal again and this time they were right on the edge of the cliff. Buck said whoa Charcoal 500 foot drop off Charcoal, then Buck took his glass eye out, stuck it under Charcoal's tail and said see for yourself Charcoal.
******************************************************************************

Blind Cowboy in a Biker Bar

An old, blind cowboy wandered into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, " Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to the old blind cowboy says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five important things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl who's holding a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl with a billy-club.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blond joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!

kinda reminds me of what I experience when telling a joke to liberals
********************************************************************

WHO'S THE TOUGHEST OLD COWBOY...

Some old cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome prairie
and with the p***e for which these men were famous, it was a night of bravado,
rot gut whiskey, and many tall tales.


Frank, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest
cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored
six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and
castrated that sucker with my teeth."


Snake River Ben, from Idaho, couldn't stand to be bested. "That's nothing! I was
walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattler slid out from
under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands,
bit off its head and sucked the poison down in one gulp - didn't even get a belly ache."


Old Red River Bill, the cowboy from Texas, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker...
Cowboy Jokes br br b One Eyed Old Cowboy /b br ... (show quote)


luv the last one Salty


Reply
Aug 19, 2018 12:58:14   #
Mike Easterday
 
FUNNY!!!

Reply
 
 
Aug 20, 2018 15:44:44   #
bggamers Loc: georgia
 
Oldsailor65 wrote:
Cowboy Jokes

One Eyed Old Cowboy

A one eyed old cowboy named Buck was riding on the range with his trusted horse Charcoal. Buck had lost an eye in the Indian wars and had a glass eye. He was riding close to a deep canyon one day when a rattle snake scared ol Charcoal and he reared up on his hind legs. Buck said whoa Charcoal whoa Charcoal were close to the cliff, 500 foot drop off Charcoal.
Charcoal settled down and then a prairie dog startled Charcoal again and again Charcoal reared up on his hind legs Buck again said whoa Charcoal whoa Charcoal were close to the cliff, 500 foot drop off Charcoal.
No sooner did Charcoal get settled down than a hawk going after the prairie dog scared Charcoal again and this time they were right on the edge of the cliff. Buck said whoa Charcoal 500 foot drop off Charcoal, then Buck took his glass eye out, stuck it under Charcoal's tail and said see for yourself Charcoal.
******************************************************************************

Blind Cowboy in a Biker Bar

An old, blind cowboy wandered into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, " Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to the old blind cowboy says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five important things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl who's holding a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl with a billy-club.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blond joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!

kinda reminds me of what I experience when telling a joke to liberals
********************************************************************

WHO'S THE TOUGHEST OLD COWBOY...

Some old cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome prairie
and with the p***e for which these men were famous, it was a night of bravado,
rot gut whiskey, and many tall tales.


Frank, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest
cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored
six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and
castrated that sucker with my teeth."


Snake River Ben, from Idaho, couldn't stand to be bested. "That's nothing! I was
walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattler slid out from
under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands,
bit off its head and sucked the poison down in one gulp - didn't even get a belly ache."


Old Red River Bill, the cowboy from Texas, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker...
Cowboy Jokes br br b One Eyed Old Cowboy /b br ... (show quote)


all funny but number 3 isnt a cowboy he a scary nut case or maybe just a scary cowboy

Reply
Aug 20, 2018 16:11:57   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
bggamers wrote:
all funny but number 3 isnt a cowboy he a scary nut case or maybe just a scary cowboy


that's Jack Elam bg-Nov.13,1920--Oct.20,2003
one of the best character actors in western movies
I luved Jack
he was a real good bad man

Reply
Aug 20, 2018 17:17:47   #
Oldsailor65 Loc: Iowa
 
badbobby wrote:
that's Jack Elam bg-Nov.13,1920--Oct.20,2003
one of the best character actors in western movies
I luved Jack
he was a real good bad man

************************************
My favorite bad guy was # 5 Leo Gordon who had also been a bad guy in real life when he was young.

Reply
Aug 20, 2018 18:59:05   #
bggamers Loc: georgia
 
badbobby wrote:
that's Jack Elam bg-Nov.13,1920--Oct.20,2003
one of the best character actors in western movies
I luved Jack
he was a real good bad man


Now that you jog my memory he was in cowboy movies as a bad guy I think out side the cowboy movies he played a hit man in several movies

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