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Monday Humor
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Mar 24, 2014 18:01:46   #
Happy J
 
There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.

Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.

They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All i had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"

For all you blonde haired people, please feel free to change the hair color.

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Mar 24, 2014 18:11:46   #
Patty
 
Here is todays cartoon.



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Mar 24, 2014 18:21:22   #
Happy J
 
Although you are welcome to post, this topic was nonpolitical and intended to be funny, to lighten the mood, and to divert hostilities. Could you find a joke to share with us that is not mean spirited or political, please?

Patty wrote:
Here is todays cartoon.

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Mar 24, 2014 19:35:14   #
Loki
 
Happy J wrote:
Although you are welcome to post, this topic was nonpolitical and intended to be funny, to lighten the mood, and to divert hostilities. Could you find a joke to share with us that is not mean spirited or political, please?




I don't think I know any.

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Mar 24, 2014 19:37:41   #
archie bunker (a regular here)
 
Happy J wrote:
There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.

Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.

They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All i had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"

For all you blonde haired people, please feel free to change the hair color.
There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is s... (show quote)

LOL!! My wife is a blonde. Her favorite color is clear! She can stare at it all day because it is so pretty!

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Mar 24, 2014 19:46:31   #
Happy J
 
archie bunker wrote:
LOL!! My wife is a blonde. Her favorite color is clear! She can stare at it all day because it is so pretty!


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Just like my son, he is blonde and his favorite color is black! Kids??? Don't understand them, but have to love them anyway.

BTW, is you wife still enjoying her gift?

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Mar 24, 2014 19:50:07   #
Happy J
 
Okay, let me see if I can get you to laugh anyway....

Three Sisters

Three elderly sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, shared a house together. One evening, the 96 year old sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she put her foot into the tub, she paused. Then she yelled down to the other two sisters and asked, "Was I getting in the tub or out?"

"You dern fool," said the 94 year old. "I'll come up and see." When she got half way up the stairs she paused. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old sister was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and thought, "I hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She shook her head and called out, "I'll be up to help you both as soon as I see who's at the door."


Loki wrote:
I don't think I know any.

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Mar 24, 2014 19:50:40   #
archie bunker (a regular here)
 
Happy J wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Just like my son, he is blonde and his favorite color is black! Kids??? Don't understand them, but have to love them anyway.

BTW, is you wife still enjoying her gift?


Gift? Which one?

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Mar 24, 2014 20:16:58   #
Happy J
 
Did you not buy her a shot gun? Perhaps it was another poster. I have spent much time reading everyone's posts, or back 6 moths whichever is shorter.
archie bunker wrote:
Gift? Which one?

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Mar 24, 2014 20:20:57   #
Ve'hoe
 
I liked it,,,, the truth is not meanspirited,,, it is simply the truth,,,, and making light of reality is what humor is supposed to do... except in the suckophantic liberal world or imbeciles...........


Happy J wrote:
Although you are welcome to post, this topic was nonpolitical and intended to be funny, to lighten the mood, and to divert hostilities. Could you find a joke to share with us that is not mean spirited or political, please?

| Reply
Mar 24, 2014 20:31:09   #
Happy J
 
Are you following me because you like my humor? Or do you have other motives??? :lol: Again, this was intended to be NONPOLITICAL. Clearer... NOT POLITICAL...just some good fun, something other than Obama to laugh at.

Here is some examples from a fine older lady:

Phyllis Diller Old People Jokes

You know you're getting old when your liver spots show through your gloves.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her right breast. It turned out to be a trick knee.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

See nothing about Conservative, Moderates, Liberals, far right or left. Just plain everyday humor. If you don't get it, well you just don't get it.

Ve'hoe wrote:
I liked it,,,, the truth is not meanspirited,,, it is simply the truth,,,, and making light of reality is what humor is supposed to do... except in the suckophantic liberal world or imbeciles...........

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Mar 24, 2014 20:32:12   #
Ve'hoe
 
Obama makes another fatal error with putin and we get nuked,,, Brian Devon and Bojerker die, and awaken in the same cave,,,, Brian asks the attendant with a pitchfork,,,,"where are we????"

"Hell" he says,,,,

Brian says,,, "But I was a GOOD liberal,,, I don't deserve this!!"
"OK" says the attendant, "If you make love to the most hideous ugly hag in the hubs of hell,,, for giving her a half inch of pleasure, we will let you go to heaven"

Brian looks at her and man,,, she is worse than medusa,, but he agrees and does the deed,,,,as he is walking with the attendant,,, he sees Bojerker with this beautiful blonde babe,,, doing the same thing!!
Incensed he complains,,, "Hey how come I got that ugly old hag and Jerker,, got that gorgeous babe,,,??? That isn't fair!!"

The attendant looks over at Bo,,, and says,, "Oh yeah,,,, well the blonde gal wanted out of hell pretty badly too."

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Mar 24, 2014 20:34:52   #
Happy J
 
Here is one you may enjoy:

A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a
small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.
As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"


Ve'hoe wrote:
I liked it,,,, the truth is not meanspirited,,, it is simply the truth,,,, and making light of reality is what humor is supposed to do... except in the suckophantic liberal world or imbeciles...........

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Mar 24, 2014 20:38:49   #
Ve'hoe
 
Yeah, well you didn't say that up front,,, so people can contribute pretty much what they want,,,, as long as it is still funny,, I mean what is it you should expect on "One POlitical Plaza?"

And I saw your name on a humor post, thought that your humor was good before,,, thought I would see,,, it was,,, so I commented too....

What good would a joke post be, if it were on the PMs instead of for public consumption??


Happy J wrote:
Are you following me because you like my humor? Or do you have other motives??? :lol: Again, this was intended to be NONPOLITICAL. Clearer... NOT POLITICAL...just some good fun, something other than Obama to laugh at.

Here is some examples from a fine older lady:

Phyllis Diller Old People Jokes

You know you're getting old when your liver spots show through your gloves.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her right breast. It turned out to be a trick knee.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

See nothing about Conservative, Moderates, Liberals, far right or left. Just plain everyday humor. If you don't get it, well you just don't get it.
Are you following me because you like my humor? O... (show quote)

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Mar 24, 2014 20:51:37   #
Happy J
 
You already posted this. Almost funny the first time I read it. So, you might appreciate this one

Two old guys were sitting under a tree, watching the sun go down. One says, "You know, I'm 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains. You're about my age. How do you feel?"

The other guy says, "Oh, I feel like a newborn baby."

"Really," says the first guy.

"Yep," says the second one. "No teeth, no hair and I think I just wet my pants."

Ve'hoe wrote:
Obama makes another fatal error with putin and we get nuked,,, Brian Devon and Bojerker die, and awaken in the same cave,,,, Brian asks the attendant with a pitchfork,,,,"where are we????"

"Hell" he says,,,,

Brian says,,, "But I was a GOOD liberal,,, I don't deserve this!!"
"OK" says the attendant, "If you make love to the most hideous ugly hag in the hubs of hell,,, for giving her a half inch of pleasure, we will let you go to heaven"

Brian looks at her and man,,, she is worse than medusa,, but he agrees and does the deed,,,,as he is walking with the attendant,,, he sees Bojerker with this beautiful blonde babe,,, doing the same thing!!
Incensed he complains,,, "Hey how come I got that ugly old hag and Jerker,, got that gorgeous babe,,,??? That isn't fair!!"

The attendant looks over at Bo,,, and says,, "Oh yeah,,,, well the blonde gal wanted out of hell pretty badly too."
Obama makes another fatal error with putin and we ... (show quote)

| Reply
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