Saturday Amusement
Mar 22, 2014 19:56:57 #
I received this from someone who is aware UncleE plays golf.
A member we lost after only three days due to Brian Devil and others rudeness posted it, as well, in the middle of a forum.
Hope you enjoy!
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Kevin. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. Since I retired several years ago, it has become necessary for her to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health insurance benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is costly and not reasonable and I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I get home. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while and, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support her. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrated women get, as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing this was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
Sincerely,
Kevin
EDITORS NOTE :
Kevin died suddenly on March 1 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife was arrested and charged with murder.. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her not guilty, accepting her defense that Kevin somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
A member we lost after only three days due to Brian Devil and others rudeness posted it, as well, in the middle of a forum.
Hope you enjoy!
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Kevin. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. Since I retired several years ago, it has become necessary for her to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health insurance benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is costly and not reasonable and I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I get home. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while and, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support her. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrated women get, as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing this was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
Sincerely,
Kevin
EDITORS NOTE :
Kevin died suddenly on March 1 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife was arrested and charged with murder.. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her not guilty, accepting her defense that Kevin somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
Mar 22, 2014 20:08:51 #
AuntiE wrote:
I received this from someone who is aware UncleE p... (show quote)
Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the truck, jack it up and change the tires
Then wash my socks and mend my old blue jeans;
Fetch my pipe, and then go get my slippers, put me on another pot of tea, then sit here at my feet, cause I like you when you're sweet, and tell me once more why you're leaving me.
Tomball Glaser.
Mar 22, 2014 20:18:23 #
AuntiE wrote:
I received this from someone who is aware UncleE p... (show quote)
The poor guy. He obviously didn't know how to run things around his own house!
Mar 22, 2014 20:21:13 #
archie bunker wrote:
The poor guy. He obviously didn't know how to run things around his own house!
Perhaps you should show Mrs. Bunker your comment. :mrgreen:
Hopefully, she values her new rifle too much to utilize it in inappropriate ways. :? :mrgreen: :oops:
Mar 22, 2014 20:53:58 #
Augustus Greatorex
Loc: NE
Loki wrote:
Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the truck, jack it up and change the tires
Then wash my socks and mend my old blue jeans;
Fetch my pipe, and then go get my slippers, put me on another pot of tea, then sit here at my feet, cause I like you when you're sweet, and tell me once more why you're leaving me.
Tomball Glaser.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the truck, jack it up and change the tires
Then wash my socks and mend my old blue jeans;
Fetch my pipe, and then go get my slippers, put me on another pot of tea, then sit here at my feet, cause I like you when you're sweet, and tell me once more why you're leaving me.
Tomball Glaser.
You're from Nebraska, too? Norfolk?
Mar 22, 2014 21:10:19 #
AuntiE wrote:
Perhaps you should show Mrs. Bunker your comment. :mrgreen:
Hopefully, she values her new rifle too much to utilize it in inappropriate ways. :? :mrgreen: :oops:
Hopefully, she values her new rifle too much to utilize it in inappropriate ways. :? :mrgreen: :oops:
She would surely not want to "muddy up" her optics. I think I'm safe there. There are several other things though.... :shock: I better go run the dishwasher or something!!
Mar 22, 2014 21:12:46 #
archie bunker wrote:
She would surely not want to "muddy up" her optics. I think I'm safe there. There are several other things though.... :shock: I better go run the dishwasher or something!!
Excellent safety measure. Perhaps quick mopping of the kitchen floor, as well. :idea:
Mar 22, 2014 21:44:16 #
AuntiE wrote:
Excellent safety measure. Perhaps quick mopping of the kitchen floor, as well. :idea:
Nah...don't want to get her spoiled. Besides, I'm running the rug doctor tomorrow.
Mar 22, 2014 22:19:34 #
Mar 22, 2014 22:25:02 #
AuntiE wrote:
Perhaps you should show Mrs. Bunker your comment. :mrgreen:
Hopefully, she values her new rifle too much to utilize it in inappropriate ways. :? :mrgreen: :oops:
Hopefully, she values her new rifle too much to utilize it in inappropriate ways. :? :mrgreen: :oops:
I love the new avatar! She looks like our barn cat, the one that had kittens.
Mar 22, 2014 22:47:08 #
Duckie wrote:
I love the new avatar! She looks like our barn cat, the one that had kittens.
You mentioned a name for either the cat or kittens. Take the surgeon's name who performed Ginnyt's surgery and use it.
Mar 22, 2014 23:00:02 #
The doctors name was Anthony. My kitten is a boy, (for a while anyway) so I will call it Tony. Great suggestions. Now let's see if he like it.
AuntiE wrote:
You mentioned a name for either the cat or kittens. Take the surgeon's name who performed Ginnyt's surgery and use it.
Mar 22, 2014 23:03:51 #
Duckie wrote:
The doctors name was Anthony. My kitten is a boy, (for a while anyway) so I will call it Tony. Great suggestions. Now let's see if he like it.
If any of the kittens are female, go spring flowers; tulip, hyacinth, iris, etc. I suggest it, because our two females, now passed on to cat nip garden, were Rose and Violet. My new lady is Lilac.
Mar 22, 2014 23:13:50 #
There were others, but Auntie Helen found homes, they now live at other family member's homes. All of them loved to talk, all the time. I guess it was the Simonize (sp, cats with blue eyes) in them. They all had long hair and some had spots and no tails. Mom said the cats without tails were probably from the wild cat that lives here. He is very big for a cat, but he does not k**l anything because Uncle Mike makes sure he gets fed twice a day.
AuntiE wrote:
If any of the kittens are female, go spring flowers; tulip, hyacinth, iris, etc. I suggest it, because our two females, now passed on to cat nip garden, were Rose and Violet. My new lady is Lilac.
Mar 22, 2014 23:19:15 #
Duckie wrote:
There were others, but Auntie Helen found homes, they now live at other family member's homes. All of them loved to talk, all the time. I guess it was the Simonize (sp, cats with blue eyes) in them. They all had long hair and some had spots and no tails. Mom said the cats without tails were probably from the wild cat that lives here. He is very big for a cat, but he does not k**l anything because Uncle Mike makes sure he gets fed twice a day.
Siamese are very verbal. Cats with just a small hint of Siamese will be very verbal. It is fun to look at them and ask a question and receive that kitty answer. :-D :thumbup:
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