AuntiE Loc: 45th Least Free State

NO SEX Since 1955

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out.

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

(Gotta love military time)

Brian Devon

Cute. Thanks for the laugh. If my Dad were still alive he would have laughed very hard. He was a WWII vet, who liked "blue" humor.

bahmer

Very good AuntiE I enjoyed it and had a good laugh thanks.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Yep, Marines are ready to "stand at attention" at the drop of a hat, or an eye lash. P.S. it could have been a Master Chief too, your prejudice is showing again! :mrgreen: :lol:

Weyner

Very good humor,I loved it!!!

Brian Devon

I suspect you are correct. I imagine that most military men, like men, in general, delight at "standing at attention". There is a similar type of salute for women. However, its slightly more subtle... and slightly less visible.

USpatriot77 Loc: USA

A soldier's aim is always true. It is in the type of aim that the trouble may lie

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Yep, biology has given women the advantage. I don't blame the "powers that be" though, women needed those advantages due to the dual headed nature of men, of which only one can work at a time.

larry

It isn't the working, it is the lack of good conversation that dulls a man. conversation as defined by nature.

Brian Devon

Yeah, there is not quite enough blood flow to operate both brains at the same time...

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Perhaps installing a second heart will increase blood flow and allow for "merging" of thoughts. I wonder how effective it would be to, while engaging in intercourse, discuss new draperies.

Brian Devon

Actually judging from the number of neanderthals on this site, who spout "lock and load" and "h*****g people from tall trees with short ropes", I'd say there are quite a few people who need the installation of a FIRST heart. Republicans can't be heart donors (exhibit A: Dick Cheney).

Apologies to the neanderthals. I am glad, though, that you were able to secure a gig, with Geico commercials.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Haven't seen them for a while. I think they went into politics as it was MUCH more lucrative. Hey, I just had an idea. How about a heart swap? Women might become more empowered and dudes a little more gentle. Or is that a sexist comment? I don't know, I gave up on trying to figure out what was PC and what wasn't.

Brian Devon

You are on the right track. Testosterone poisoning, the joy of the NRA, is not such a good thing. Looking at the organized slaughters (wars) initiated by men, giving a woman the presidency to a woman might be a good thing.First, though, check for an Ann Coulter or Margaret Thatcher type Adam's apple!

Brian Devon

You are on the right track. Testosterone poisoning, the joy of the NRA, is not such a good thing. Looking at the organized slaughters (wars) initiated by men, giving a woman the presidency might be a good thing.First, though, check for an Ann Coulter or Margaret Thatcher type Adam's apple!