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Posts for: Larry the Legend
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Jan 19, 2017 03:38:08   #
vettelover wrote:
"Just read a piece on Al Sharpton (remember him, G*D**N America..??)"

I thought it was the other race baiting Reverend, Jeremiah Wright that said that?


You got it, it was Jeremiah Wright:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix-AMYos0Js
 
Jan 18, 2017 21:23:32   #
kenjay wrote:
A better question frosty will Obozo and Hillary share the same prison cell?


Now that would be a hoot. Not impossible either, they're both women, after all....
Jan 18, 2017 15:32:46   #
Nuclearian wrote:
Ho Hum!! So typical of you. Polls from Fake News. Didnt they all say that Hitler was going to win? Yep. AND THEY WERE WRONG!!


Hate to break this to you but, uh, Hitler was duly elected. Really.
Jan 18, 2017 15:29:27   #
slatten49 wrote:
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?


Clearly only some monkeys and apes were deemed suitable for transformation.

slatten49 wrote:
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD LITTLE GIRLS LIVE.


Think he gives them a 'lump of coal'?

slatten49 wrote:
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?


Then that question would not exist.

slatten49 wrote:
7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?


Yes.


slatten49 wrote:
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?


Yes, because one personality is holding another personality hostage.


slatten49 wrote:
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?


Alternate, substitute, alternative, equivalent, euphemism. There are others but I'm feeling lazy today.

slatten49 wrote:
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?


Anywhere but there.

slatten49 wrote:
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?


Take a photo, it might be your last chance.

slatten49 wrote:
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?


No, all parsley farmers are independent businessmen and therefore are not subject to garnishment. However, parsley farmers are able to garnish garlic farmers' wages, since garlic farmers all work for parsley farmers.

slatten49 wrote:
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?


Good question, I'll ask the next fly that comes along.

slatten49 wrote:
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?


Neither, he's cold.

slatten49 wrote:
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?


Yes, but animals cannot eat vegetarian crackers.

slatten49 wrote:
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?


No, they just assume he will.

slatten49 wrote:
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?


So the blind drivers can withdraw money at the drive through. Duh!

slatten49 wrote:
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?


Natural selection. The ones that cross elsewhere get whacked.

slatten49 wrote:
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?


Me.

slatten49 wrote:
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.


Well, I could if I wanted to but, really, is there anyone more exciting and interesting to talk about than me? I mean, c'mon, seriously?

slatten49 wrote:
22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? (This one took me a minute)


Only if she's flat chested...

slatten49 wrote:
23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?


Have you tried adultery? There's no comparison!

slatten49 wrote:
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?


How is it possible to have a kissing cousin?

slatten49 wrote:
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?


No. The one that drowns is the one who did it wrong. On the other hand, if only one does not drown, he also did it wrong.

slatten49 wrote:
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?


Yes.

slatten49 wrote:
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?


You have succeeded at failing, therefore you have done both.

slatten49 wrote:
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?


Mine. It's funny to listen to people try to explain that they have a 'lisp'.

slatten49 wrote:
29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?


Because assteroids was already taken.

slatten49 wrote:
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?


We can't??? Uh-oooooh. I think I might be in a little trouble.... (Quietly slinks away)
Jan 18, 2017 13:07:51   #
"He said the top 1 percent is not paying their fair share, and as a result we are seeing social instability increase."

http://www.cnbc.com/2017/01/18/joe-bidens-final-speech-at-davos.html

Oh, Puhleeze! Not that old canard again! I can't take it any more!!!

Well, at least 'someone' was paying attention...

https://www.rt.com/viral/374119-biden-davos-lights-off/

However, the enemy has been sighted, and it's us:

https://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2017-01-18/lagarde-urges-wealth-redistribution-as-dalio-warns-on-populists

"After Trump and Brexit, there are more votes coming this year. Elections are due in the Netherlands, France and Germany, with a possible early poll in Italy following a constitutional referendum where voters rallied against the government."

Of course, 'business as usual' is, after all, business as usual:

"Same as every other year, Davos is again plastered with the slogan of the World Economic Forum: “Committed to Improving the State of the World.” But whatever improvements are supposed to be made, one can safely assume they will not conflict with those in attendance continuing to enjoy the state of the world as it is now, with canapés and aged Bordeaux and private jets at the ready".

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/18/business/dealbook/world-economic-forum-davos-backlash.html?_r=0
Jan 18, 2017 13:01:56   #
Some homeless snowflake makes a threatening video aimed at Trump's inauguration and posts it to twitter, where cops see it and pick him up a little while later at a Miami sub shop. Really? I mean, what kind of dumass idiot would do such a moronic thing?

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/business/technology/article127206319.html

Still, I guess jail is better than being homeless...
 
Jan 18, 2017 11:34:30   #
Raylan Wolfe wrote:
And tiny shad proves his stupidity once again!

Ask the 900,000 anti Trump protesters who will be at inauguration on Friday!

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/trump-inauguration-dc-braced-for-900000-protesters/ar-AAlWcZ0?li=BBnbcA1


http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/03/31/craigslist-ad-offers-protesters-15-hour-crash-wisconsin-donald-trump-rally

And there's more:

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2016/03/anti-trump-protesters-admit-answering-craigslist-ad-and-getting-paid-to-protest-trump/

But then (oh dear):

http://www.allenbwest.com/ashleyedwardson/paid-ferguson-protestors-now-protesting-over-not-getting-paid
Jan 18, 2017 11:27:35   #
ldsuttonjr wrote:
ion: It time for your frontal lobotomy!!!! The majority of these useful and useless idiots were never in an approved protest site on a major US Freeway!!!!



Here's a thought: How about moving the approved protest site to the middle of the interstate? Now that could get interesting...
Jan 18, 2017 11:01:10   #
jack sequim wa wrote:
First text book in our school system was the bible.
Take your hour suggestion and use the bible, k-post grad


OK. Which bible?

Also, if you use the Christian Bible, what do you do about all the other religious systems you're shutting out? Think I'm kidding? You'll be tied up in knots in no time. I can just hear the Muslims now...
Jan 17, 2017 21:38:40   #
Steve700 wrote:
In sociology class we were taught that the government has more influence over us then we have over the government. To get America back on that foundational track of decency, integrity, and Christian morality we should have an hour a week mandatory, from 1st grade through university, of a discussion class on why morals, ethics, values, personal responsibility,reliability, accountability, honesty and discipline is important to the individual and our society. Also to include the 'Logic of Creationism' over evolution.
In sociology class we were taught that the governm... (show quote)


Excellent idea! I like it a lot. It solves a myriad of problems that exist now and are predictable on down the road a ways. One little, tiny detail does spring to mind though: Where will you find a large enough group of public school teachers with a good enough understanding of that 'foundational track of decency, integrity, and Christian morality' you so presciently recommend? Add in ethics, values, personal responsibility, reliability, accountability, honesty and discipline... Well, as they say in New York; fuggedaboudit! You'd have better luck finding a 14 year old virgin in Chicago.

Then there's the universities; have you heard the totally disconnected lunacy being spouted by these so-called college professors of today? Is there a single one among them who has even a tiny iota of decency, integrity or moral fiber in his entire being? Judging by what comes out of their mouths, I think not.

On top of that, you want to include the 'Logic of Creationism' over evolution? Most of these people are atheists, or at best have no religious grounding, and you want to force them to preach the logic of creationism when they deny even the existence of a Creator? That's like telling Kim Davis, the Rowan County Clerk to issue gay marriage licenses. Ain't happening, or, as my 18 year old son would say; good luck with that.

I really do like this idea, but it will not fly as long as we have government controlled education in our schools. Although, if you could somehow tie it in with 'common core'.......
Jan 17, 2017 20:48:38   #
America Only wrote:
Wait until you see what "lolligager" will post! Some of these morons are in an orbit unknown to mankind!


Well, I did try to see it from her point of view, but couldn't get my head that far up my ass....
 
Jan 17, 2017 20:45:47   #
adennya wrote:
That's probably why you couldn't find it, if you actually read it.


She didn't read it. Couldn't have. In order to read it, you have to be able to read and understand what's written. She has trouble spelling words more than 4 or 5 letters long so how can you expect her to understand something as complex and sophisticated as the Constitution? It does, after all, read at a 10th grade level...
Jan 17, 2017 08:58:00   #
Tanya wrote:
I know my heading is gonna cause a lot of people to lose their minds , but as they say, who gives a Righteous €&£%!
I've been trying to wrap my mind around just how,This massaginistic, hypocrit was made President! See,when I read the Constitution I couldn't find anything on the Presidential Elections being chosen by delegates, the ELECTIONS are won by the Peoples Votes. Not by delegates, It is For the People and by the Peoples Votes that All Government Offices are chosen..
Sooo, that means Hillary won!! Not TRAITOR TRUMP!! Which leads me to TRAITOR TRUMP!! He's not the elected President, he was not voted in to the PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE BY THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. IM VERY Appalled by the way the Republicans have allowed a self condemned Rapist, Liar, Tax Evader, Phony Businessman, a TRAITOR in his own words to the American People, a RACIST to all Ethnicities and a Foul Mouthed BUM BUMP!! I believe this man is going to lead the Republican Party into a formidable battle that's going to end up in another CIVIL WAR!! Apparently this is part of the Ethnic Cleansing and Racial Divide he and his Russian Counterparts have been trying to attain.. I believe Trump & his Racist Colleague's have been giving Intel to them and other countries, That makes HIM A TRAITOR AS WELL AS HIS FAMILY AND HIS CABINET.. HE deserves to be Tried in Court as well as his,Cabinet and the top Republican House majority. We deserve an elected official not a bought President. You know it is Amazing how dirty mouthed and cold hearted the Republicans have allowed THE TRUMP Bigots to get in this Election! Grabbing a womans poopie, pissing on paid prostitutes, a bought wife or two, I guess he's paying his debt back by trying to be PRESIDENT, let's see oh yeah TRUMP COLLEGE, How many were, scammed by this?? Got big payouts from Wall Street Elitist!! Your just a good,ol Crook MR TRUMP!! This list goes on and on.
So Republicans you think y'all have WON,? Wrong!!! The Russians won..
Tanya
I know my heading is gonna cause a lot of people t... (show quote)


Wow! This is so wrong on so many levels, where to start? OK, starting at the beginning:

Tanya wrote:
I know my heading is gonna cause a lot of people to lose their minds , but as they say, who gives a Righteous €&£%!

Nobody's losing their mind over this. This is par for the course these days. Just sit back and be ejumicated.

Tanya wrote:
I've been trying to wrap my mind around just how,This massaginistic, hypocrit was made President! See,when I read the Constitution I couldn't find anything on the Presidential Elections being chosen by delegates, the ELECTIONS are won by the Peoples Votes. Not by delegates, It is For the People and by the Peoples Votes that All Government Offices are chosen..

I don't know which constitution you were reading, but it most certainly was not the Constitution of the United States of America. If you had read the current Constitution of the United States of America, as amended form time to time, you would understand that the office of the President and Vice-President are filled by Electoral College votes, not by popular vote. Of course, you do have a say in who goes to the houses of Congress to represent you. Executive officers are chosen by electors, not by popular vote. As an aside, Electors are not bound by the popular vote in their respective States, though they do tend to reflect that result. By the way, it's spelt 'misogynistic' and 'hypocrite'. When you see a red line under a word, it means there's something wrong.

Tanya wrote:
Sooo, that means Hillary won!! Not TRAITOR TRUMP!! Which leads me to TRAITOR TRUMP!! He's not the elected President, he was not voted in to the PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE BY THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. IM VERY Appalled by the way the Republicans have allowed a self condemned Rapist, Liar, Tax Evader, Phony Businessman, a TRAITOR in his own words to the American People, a RACIST to all Ethnicities and a Foul Mouthed BUM BUMP!!

Please read my previous paragraph again. The rest of this screed will not be afforded the dignity of a reply.

Tanya wrote:
I believe this man is going to lead the Republican Party into a formidable battle that's going to end up in another CIVIL WAR!! Apparently this is part of the Ethnic Cleansing and Racial Divide he and his Russian Counterparts have been trying to attain..

Oooo...Kaaay..., "CIVIL WAR!!", right. Let me know how that ends up, I got better things to do. By the way, didn't take long to play the 'race card' did you? I heard President Trump is working on legislation to make unwarranted cries of 'racist' a hate crime. Better watch out... As for his "Russian [c]ounterparts", please refer to my last paragraph.

Tanya wrote:
I believe Trump & his Racist Colleague's have been giving Intel to them and other countries, That makes HIM A TRAITOR AS WELL AS HIS FAMILY AND HIS CABINET.. HE deserves to be Tried in Court as well as his,Cabinet and the top Republican House majority.

HANG 'EM ALL!! Dirty, low-down Russia-lovers!!! Well, thankfully, there's this pesky thing called the law, that says that if you suspect someone of a crime, you are required to have proof before anyone either 'swings' or 'fries', or even sees himself in court, actually. Of course, you might take your concerns to any lawfully appointed police department or County Sheriff's Office for further investigation.


Tanya wrote:
We deserve an elected official not a bought President. You know it is Amazing how dirty mouthed and cold hearted the Republicans have allowed THE TRUMP Bigots to get in this Election! Grabbing a womans poopie, pissing on paid prostitutes, a bought wife or two, I guess he's paying his debt back by trying to be PRESIDENT, let's see oh yeah TRUMP COLLEGE, How many were, scammed by this?? Got big payouts from Wall Street Elitist!! Your just a good,ol Crook MR TRUMP!! This list goes on and on.

You deserve whatever the Electoral college gives you. As for 'bought', that remains to be seen. I personally doubt it though. As for 'bought wives', hey, you get what you pay for, I'd say he got his money's worth. What's a "poopie"? Never heard of it...


Tanya wrote:
So Republicans you think y'all have WON,? Wrong!!! The Russians won..

In reality, a realm that you seem to be a little less familiar with than most, it was Donald Trump who won. He won the election by gaining the most electoral votes (the ones that really matter). As for the Russians, who knows what's in their thoughts? I didn't ask and nobody offered...
Jan 17, 2017 06:06:54   #
CD Player

I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the salesclerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

He said, "That means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal."

"In other words," I said, "this CD player plays CDs."

"Exactly."

Five Gifts Never to Buy For Your Wife

1. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.

2. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (They actually test them you know.)

3. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you have good taste in woman's clothing. Believe me, she'll smile and say its beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, "Where would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad taste?" An additional hint: plaids do not go with stripes (even though you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). It's a known fact to the rest of the world that that is a taboo.

4. Do not give her a gift certificate to a fitness center or Weight Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have learned the correct response to, "Do these pants make me look fat?" If you are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and purchased a gift like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month. (Although that may be something you would actually look forward to.)

5. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book on "How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday." These are not considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the person who bought it and just may stand up in a court of law.

Energy

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: "What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?"

One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there could be something else going on there."

Hubble Photograph of Distant Galaxies Colliding

The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

For those fans of '30 Rock' (you know who you are...):

http://www.arcamax.com/entertainment/humor/jokes/s-1914545?ezine=1
Jan 16, 2017 06:22:36   #
Cool Breeze wrote:
Indeterminate Race? Get the fux out of here!


"Taylor's own racial reality is much harder to pin down, however. Born Martha Miller, she was listed as white in the 1930 Census, just like everyone else in her family. But she had darker skin and darker hair. People who knew her family told Levin that she had Native American ancestry. One of her husbands, who was black, said she could look like an Asian woman at times. Another earlier husband and ostensible father to some of her children was white, and during that marriage she gave birth to kids who alternately appeared black, unmistakably white, or racially ambiguous. At times she posed as a Jewish woman. In one photo, she has long, blonde hair."

Here, once again, is the article in question:

http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/12/20/255819681/the-truth-behind-the-lies-of-the-original-welfare-queen

Yes, that's right, indeterminate race. As in no-one has a freaking clue whether she was white, black, red or yellow. Now you get the fux out of here!
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