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Posts for: Larry the Legend
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Feb 25, 2017 00:05:27   #
archie bunker wrote:
What were the men doing?

Eating sammiches and drinking beer, naturally!
Feb 25, 2017 00:00:51   #
archie bunker wrote:
Bitching at the men while building a sammich? 😲😂

Bingo! Congratulations, you win a cookie!
Feb 24, 2017 23:56:16   #
pafret wrote:
1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

4. A teenage boy asks his granny: /"Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?" Granny replies: " The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?"

5. Wife gets naked and asks hubby: /"What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"/ Hubby looks her up and down and replies: /"Your sense of humor!"/ .......(Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 pm. to 6:00 pm.)

6. A chap's wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part. (His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 pm. till 8:30 pm.)

7. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

8 . I woke up this morning at 11:30 , and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's now serve breakfast all day.

9 . My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door. She screamed: /"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"/ I replied:/"Oh, so now you want me to stay!"/

10. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

11. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her: /"Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"/ The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month.
1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress ... (show quote)

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Feb 24, 2017 23:43:57   #
archie bunker wrote:
The one with the yellow sign has it right! I didn't see any sandwich makers in there though.

The sammich makers were busy on the men's side... guess what they were doing.
Feb 24, 2017 23:41:25   #
norte wrote:
When US government decrees that all Americans must have their thumbs amputated?

OK I was only kinda giggling until I saw that. Now you owe me a new keyboard. I just spilled beer over mine. Also, take a 5-minute posting ban for being a royal dumbass. Where do you dream this stuff up from? Seriously, what color is the sky on your planet? I'd really like to know.

Feb 24, 2017 23:27:04   #
norte wrote:
Most people would prefer to ignore a hard fact rather than face it.

Tell me, what color is the sky on your planet? Just curious..
Feb 24, 2017 23:24:33   #
Onelostdog wrote:
What some women want.

Me. They always want me. I have to wear a disguise sometimes just to be left alone. Especially the liberal ones. Oh, how they hate the way they want me...
Feb 24, 2017 23:20:54   #
HedgeHog wrote:
Funny you didn't mention the Rubicon.

...Or the Bilderbergs, or the Skull and Bones society. C'mon guys, there's so much to go on here...
Feb 24, 2017 22:49:25   #
Onelostdog wrote:
As is the case with many of the loonie lefts marches, the logic of their demands gets another 'F'

From the woman's march - sarcasm not thought out completely.

Pity this poor woman

1. She wants you to wait 72 hours while you await a background investigation on her.

2. She wants women to be banned from entering schools and college campuses.

3. She wants women banned from polling places on Election Day.

4. She wants you to pay a fee before you take a woman out in public.

5. She wants some women banned simply because they look too scary.

6. She wants women banned from airports.

7. She wants women to be locked up at all times when they are not in use.

Plus.......I guess she also believes every man should own one;
As is the case with many of the loonie lefts march... (show quote)

Sad really. Very sad. It's just so hard to take them seriously when they screw up so monumentally.

Feb 24, 2017 22:42:21   #
eagleye13 wrote:
The crying will not cease:

Just wait 'til President Trump and his government give 'em something to cry about!

Feb 24, 2017 22:40:03   #
HedgeHog wrote:
I thought it was the scarecrow that didn't have a brain?

PO's a SCARECROW!!!? Wow! That explains a whole lot!
Feb 24, 2017 22:17:24   #
pafret wrote:
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man.

Feb 24, 2017 22:07:51   #
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
The American Medical Association’s Comments On President Trump's Health Care Proposals

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenteritis had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Petrologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.
The American Medical Association’s Comments On Pre... (show quote)

Yep, you got me. That was funny. Thanks Buddy, I needed a laugh.
Feb 24, 2017 22:03:26   #
eagleye13 wrote:
bx0/0 = b

Therefore; b=0

If PO's IQ+b = >0
Is that possible?

yes, bx0/0=b

but b does not have to equal 0, because 0/0=1,

therefore b could equal any number and bx0/0 would still equal b.

therefore PO's IQ+b = >0 for any value of b >0

See, easy!
Feb 24, 2017 19:07:29   #
HedgeHog wrote:
Can you imagine how G. Cantor felt, after showing that the number of even numbers equaled the number of odd numbers equaled the number of all integers, (equal to infinity), then finding out that there were more real numbers than that?

He was in an institution for awhile.

There was a young fellow from Trinity
Who took the square root of infinity
But the number of digits
Gave him the fidgets;
He dropped Math and took up Divinity.

From "One, Two, Three,,,Infinity" by George Gamow
Can you imagine how G. Cantor felt, after showing ... (show quote)

Well, we all know that the square root of infinity is infinity. Has to be because the only way to reach infinity is to multiply something by infinity, therefore infinity squared equals infinity. But what happens if you multiply infinity by zero?
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