slatten49 wrote:
The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz 10:52 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Commenting on Donald Trump’s first hundred days in office, Vice-President Mike Pence told Fox News on Sunday, “To tell you the truth, I really thought I’d be President by now.”
“When I agreed to run on the ticket with him, I said to myself, ‘Mike, after he’s been in the White House for a few weeks, he’ll be a total train wreck and you’ll be able to slide into the big-boy chair,’ ” Pence said. “I never in a million years thought he’d last a hundred days. My best guess was thirty.”
The former Indiana governor said that, with such seemingly fatal missteps as Trump’s failed health-care plan and travel bans, as well as any number of unhinged outbursts, “It feels like I’ve come close to getting in there maybe ten or twelve times. But close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”
Calling the past hundred days “the longest hundred days of my life,” Pence said that he has no choice now but to “sit and wait for my moment.”
“I’m a man of faith, and I believe that the Lord has a plan for me,” he said. “But if another hundred days come and go and I’m still not President, you are going to see one pissed-off Mike Pence.”
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Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.
The Borowitz Report br br By Andy Borowitz 10:5... (
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Sounds like bazinga to me.