pafret Loc: Northeast

When you are 70...............


I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."


Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you’re seventy...............who cares?


**********

I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”

I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."

When you’re seventy..............who cares?

***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip, but...


When you’re seventy...............who cares?


**********


I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...


When you’re seventy...............who cares?


*********


I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.


When you’re seventy...............who cares?


**********


I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but...


When you’re seventy...............who cares?



"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember
we do not quit playing because we grow old.... we grow old because we quit playing"

BobDew

I turned 80 and the world never looked better. Your right, everything is turning up to be funnier every day. God bless the USA

pafret Loc: Northeast

Welcome to the club Bob, I made it last November. I recently read that we have outlived 77% of our age group. No wonder responses to my emails are getting fewer each passing year. I thought it was my charming personality that was pissing everybody off!

But hey! I'm 80 so who gives a damn!.

missinglink Loc: Tralfamadore

I'll be damned. Never thought I'd run into a member of my VFW Post on Opp.
Sounds like mine anyway !

badbobby Loc: texas

all you younguns
play nice now

pafret Loc: Northeast

The Dean weighs in. Hey Bad Bob do you still chase girls? I do but I can't catch them anymore and I don't remember why I should be chasing them.

badbobby Loc: texas

nope I found out that they like older men

LPgee

Fellas:
Here's one while you are stiil
Chasing skirts...

" RAGE! RAGE!
Against the dying of the light!

saltwind78

I'm seventy two, and it's okay. Of course I can't do what i used to do, no more lawn work, no more heavy lifting, no more long walks, etc. On the other hand I have four great grandchildren, a wonderful wife of forty seven years, two kids that make me proud every day, and I'm okay financially. I'm not lighting up Cuban cigars with hundred dollar bills, but all my needs are taken care of, with a lot of my wants. I do know that I intend to enjoy myself with whatever time I have left!

Richard Rowland

77 last August, 21st. Up till last summer, I thought I was invincible. Then I developed something called polymyalgia (if the doctor knows what he's talking about.) My right knee hurts when walking, my neck is stiff, plus it cracks and pops when I turn my head, and the fingers on my left hand have lost the sensitivity of touch. While it's not entirely debilitating, it has crimped by enthusiasm for doing much of what I did before this condition struck. Old age really sucks!

pafret Loc: Northeast

My mother used to tell me something I never understood until I became old. It was an Italian aphorism "la vecchiaia è brutto". Old Age Is Ugly! She was right on target with that one.

popparod Loc: Somewhere else.

The grandkids don't seem to want to be around us old folks anymore
I guess it reminds them they will someday be old too...........if they're lucky.

1969skoops

I'll be 72 in a couple of months and more and more mornings I feel like I'll be 92. However, every night I thank God for that day, so I grit my teeth every morning to force myself to get out of bed and start all over again.

pafret Loc: Northeast

Popparod, the grand-kids might as well be Martians for all they have in common with us. It was hard enough understanding my own children. The cultural gulf between you and your children is miniscule compared to the gulf between your children and their children. The society has evolved so rapidly with the inventions since the forties that I shudder to think of what two generations from now will be like. Our kids weren't that different from us. Predictions are that on average those grandkids are going to live well into their eighties. Their day will come!.

thinksense

Thanks. pafret.....I neede that,.