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"You're Not A Marine!"
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Feb 11, 2017 20:08:32   #
Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton
 
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this joke to someone who is not a Marine:

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a U.S. Marine Corps base.

He goes to the front gate, and says to the sentry, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

To his surprise, the Marines accept him enthusiastically. They feed him at the officer's club, they fix his car at the motor pool, and they even allow him to sleep in the VIP quarters.

But, as the man tries to fall asleep that night, he hears a strange sound. All through the night, he hears this sound.

The next morning, he asks the Marines what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same Marine Corps base. Again the Marines accept him enthusiastically, fix his car, and allow him to stay in the VIP quarters. That night, he hears the exact same strange noise that he had heard several years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the Marines reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a Marine, how do I become one?"

The Marines reply, "You must go to Parris Island, there to undergo several weeks of torturous behavior. You will be yelled at, put down, cut down, and physically exhausted.

From there you will go on to receive infantry training. You will learn how to fight, fight to survive, and fight to win. You will learn how to act the Corps, breath the Corps, eat the Corps, sleep the Corps, be the Corps. When you finish these trials, you will be a Marine."

The man sets about his task. He goes through boot camp, advanced infantry training, and is assigned to an MEU. While part of the MEU he is sent to fight in two small wars, and three "police actions."

Three years later, while on leave, he returns to the Marine Corps base where he last heard that strange, strange sound. Standing there in his dress uniform, he says, "I have joined the Corps, and I have paid my dues. I have fought for the love of God, Country, and the Corps".

The Marines reply, "Congratulations. You are now a Marine. We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The Marines lead the man to a wooden door, where the Base Commander says, "The sound is behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"

The Base Commander gives him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The Commander gives him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the Commander, who provides it. Behind that door is yet another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst...

Finally, a golden door. The Commander says, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can't tell you what it is, because.... You're Not A Marine!

Reply
Feb 11, 2017 20:31:19   #
kankune Loc: Iowa
 
Larry the Legend wrote:
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this joke to someone who is not a Marine:

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a U.S. Marine Corps base.

He goes to the front gate, and says to the sentry, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

To his surprise, the Marines accept him enthusiastically. They feed him at the officer's club, they fix his car at the motor pool, and they even allow him to sleep in the VIP quarters.

But, as the man tries to fall asleep that night, he hears a strange sound. All through the night, he hears this sound.

The next morning, he asks the Marines what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same Marine Corps base. Again the Marines accept him enthusiastically, fix his car, and allow him to stay in the VIP quarters. That night, he hears the exact same strange noise that he had heard several years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the Marines reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a Marine, how do I become one?"

The Marines reply, "You must go to Parris Island, there to undergo several weeks of torturous behavior. You will be yelled at, put down, cut down, and physically exhausted.

From there you will go on to receive infantry training. You will learn how to fight, fight to survive, and fight to win. You will learn how to act the Corps, breath the Corps, eat the Corps, sleep the Corps, be the Corps. When you finish these trials, you will be a Marine."

The man sets about his task. He goes through boot camp, advanced infantry training, and is assigned to an MEU. While part of the MEU he is sent to fight in two small wars, and three "police actions."

Three years later, while on leave, he returns to the Marine Corps base where he last heard that strange, strange sound. Standing there in his dress uniform, he says, "I have joined the Corps, and I have paid my dues. I have fought for the love of God, Country, and the Corps".

The Marines reply, "Congratulations. You are now a Marine. We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The Marines lead the man to a wooden door, where the Base Commander says, "The sound is behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"

The Base Commander gives him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The Commander gives him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the Commander, who provides it. Behind that door is yet another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst...

Finally, a golden door. The Commander says, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can't tell you what it is, because.... You're Not A Marine!
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this ... (show quote)


Oh man....screamminbajeebies. Dang it. : )

Reply
Feb 11, 2017 20:37:00   #
Steve700
 
Larry the Legend wrote:
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this joke to someone who is not a Marine:

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a U.S. Marine Corps base.

He goes to the front gate, and says to the sentry, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

To his surprise, the Marines accept him enthusiastically. They feed him at the officer's club, they fix his car at the motor pool, and they even allow him to sleep in the VIP quarters.

But, as the man tries to fall asleep that night, he hears a strange sound. All through the night, he hears this sound.

The next morning, he asks the Marines what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same Marine Corps base. Again the Marines accept him enthusiastically, fix his car, and allow him to stay in the VIP quarters. That night, he hears the exact same strange noise that he had heard several years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the Marines reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a Marine, how do I become one?"

The Marines reply, "You must go to Parris Island, there to undergo several weeks of torturous behavior. You will be yelled at, put down, cut down, and physically exhausted.

From there you will go on to receive infantry training. You will learn how to fight, fight to survive, and fight to win. You will learn how to act the Corps, breath the Corps, eat the Corps, sleep the Corps, be the Corps. When you finish these trials, you will be a Marine."

The man sets about his task. He goes through boot camp, advanced infantry training, and is assigned to an MEU. While part of the MEU he is sent to fight in two small wars, and three "police actions."

Three years later, while on leave, he returns to the Marine Corps base where he last heard that strange, strange sound. Standing there in his dress uniform, he says, "I have joined the Corps, and I have paid my dues. I have fought for the love of God, Country, and the Corps".

The Marines reply, "Congratulations. You are now a Marine. We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The Marines lead the man to a wooden door, where the Base Commander says, "The sound is behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"

The Base Commander gives him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The Commander gives him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the Commander, who provides it. Behind that door is yet another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst...

Finally, a golden door. The Commander says, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can't tell you what it is, because.... You're Not A Marine!
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this ... (show quote)

What I mean ass hole thing to do, read that crap and waste my time to only get piss off with no laugh. NOT FUNNY! -- Just mean and Stupid

Reply
 
 
Feb 11, 2017 20:50:17   #
mongo Loc: TEXAS
 
Steve700 wrote:
What I mean ass hole thing to do, read that crap and waste my time to only get piss off with no laugh. NOT FUNNY! -- Just mean and Stupid


Well Steve, that's because you're not a Marine!!!

SEMPER FI

Reply
Feb 11, 2017 20:57:48   #
reconreb Loc: America / Inglis Fla.
 
mongo wrote:
Well Steve, that's because you're not a Marine!!!

SEMPER FI





Reply
Feb 11, 2017 21:20:26   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
mongo wrote:
Well Steve, that's because you're not a Marine!!!

SEMPER FI

Oooorahhhhh, Mongo

SEMPER FI, Marine.

Reply
Feb 11, 2017 21:54:20   #
Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton
 
kankune wrote:
Oh man....screamminbajeebies. Dang it. : )


(Want me to tell you what it was?)

Reply
 
 
Feb 11, 2017 22:13:57   #
kankune Loc: Iowa
 
Larry the Legend wrote:
(Want me to tell you what it was?)


Yes, please....

Reply
Feb 11, 2017 22:34:25   #
Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton
 
kankune wrote:
Yes, please....


(Check your messages...)

Reply
Feb 11, 2017 23:11:30   #
Steve700
 
mongo wrote:
Well Steve, that's because you're not a Marine!!!

SEMPER FI





Reply
Feb 11, 2017 23:33:25   #
Steve700
 
slatten49 wrote:
Oooorahhhhh, Mongo

SEMPER FI, Marine.

Go to Decency vs Bigotry - the Battle Rages On, http://www.onepoliticalplaza.com/t-94287-9.html And read and respond to my rebuttal to your last post there. I've given you answers for everything that you said. You know I said an awful lot more than the small fraction you responded to, thinking that now you've got me. As you'll see from what I have written, backed up by the quotes from the Koran You don't even have a case there. You will find them on the bottom of page 9 and the top of page 10.

Reply
 
 
Feb 12, 2017 00:52:41   #
slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Steve700 wrote:
Go to Decency vs Bigotry - the Battle Rages On, http://www.onepoliticalplaza.com/t-94287-9.html And read and respond to my rebuttal to your last post there. I've given you answers for everything that you said. You know I said an awful lot more than the small fraction you responded to, thinking that now you've got me. As you'll see from what I have written, backed up by the quotes from the Koran You don't even have a case there. You will find them on the bottom of page 9 and the top of page 10.
Go to u Decency vs Bigotry - the Battle Rages On ... (show quote)


Wake up from your usual stupor, Steve700. The brouhaha you are currently in on that post is with Straightup. This is a prime example of why I refuse to engage with you. You almost always appear bitter, dazed and confused on just about everything you dabble in, IMHO. Please leave me out of your dark netherworld of existence.

Reply
Feb 12, 2017 03:34:16   #
Steve700
 
slatten49 wrote:
Wake up from your usual stupor, Steve700. The brouhaha you are currently in on that post is with Straightup. This is a prime example of why I refuse to engage with you. You almost always appear bitter, dazed and confused on just about everything you dabble in, IMHO. Please leave me out of your dark netherworld of existence.

'Scuse Me, You're right, I was confusing you with Straightup. I was wondering where the 49 came from. I have a memory like a sieve except for political things, so you may notice elements appearing as being dazed and confused. But I do have it right that you two are of the same ilk and I can clean the clock of either one of you in a political debate. You might want to check out what I had written to him including what I posted on the middle of page 9. I would imagine you two agree on the refugee issue, which means you would need a little educational straightening out as well as he. I have long since realized the dark netherworld part of truth is something liberals are unwilling to realize or come to terms with. To be liberal is to have a problem with reality.

Reply
Feb 12, 2017 08:52:04   #
ssgtgood
 
Larry the Legend wrote:
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this joke to someone who is not a Marine:

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a U.S. Marine Corps base.

He goes to the front gate, and says to the sentry, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

To his surprise, the Marines accept him enthusiastically. They feed him at the officer's club, they fix his car at the motor pool, and they even allow him to sleep in the VIP quarters.

But, as the man tries to fall asleep that night, he hears a strange sound. All through the night, he hears this sound.

The next morning, he asks the Marines what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same Marine Corps base. Again the Marines accept him enthusiastically, fix his car, and allow him to stay in the VIP quarters. That night, he hears the exact same strange noise that he had heard several years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the Marines reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Marine."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a Marine, how do I become one?"

The Marines reply, "You must go to Parris Island, there to undergo several weeks of torturous behavior. You will be yelled at, put down, cut down, and physically exhausted.

From there you will go on to receive infantry training. You will learn how to fight, fight to survive, and fight to win. You will learn how to act the Corps, breath the Corps, eat the Corps, sleep the Corps, be the Corps. When you finish these trials, you will be a Marine."

The man sets about his task. He goes through boot camp, advanced infantry training, and is assigned to an MEU. While part of the MEU he is sent to fight in two small wars, and three "police actions."

Three years later, while on leave, he returns to the Marine Corps base where he last heard that strange, strange sound. Standing there in his dress uniform, he says, "I have joined the Corps, and I have paid my dues. I have fought for the love of God, Country, and the Corps".

The Marines reply, "Congratulations. You are now a Marine. We shall now show you the way to the sound."

The Marines lead the man to a wooden door, where the Base Commander says, "The sound is behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"

The Base Commander gives him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The Commander gives him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the Commander, who provides it. Behind that door is yet another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst...

Finally, a golden door. The Commander says, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can't tell you what it is, because.... You're Not A Marine!
Here is a classic joke for any Marine. Tell this ... (show quote)


Good story, but you can tell me what the noise is, I am a Marine.
Semper Fidelis
ssgtgood USMC

Reply
Feb 12, 2017 09:57:47   #
EN Submarine Qualified Loc: Wisconsin East coast
 
But "SUBMARINE" counts, Right?

Reply
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