eagleye13 Loc: Fl

> Retirement Options
> You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...
>
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found
> shade.
>
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the
> toilet bowl.
>
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
>
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
>
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
> when you open your oven door.
>
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to California where...
>
> 1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
>
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
>
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
>
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
>
> 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
> it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
>
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to New York City where...
>
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ....
>
> 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
> Circle
> to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
>
> 3. You think Central Park is "nature."
>
> 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
> makes you multi-lingual.
>
> 5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car).
>
> 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to Minnesota where...
>
> 1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup ..
>
> 2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
>
> 3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
>
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
>
> 5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road
> repair.
>
> 6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different, she is different or
> It was different!
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to The Deep South where...
>
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
>
> 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
>
> 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
>
> 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob,
> Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
>
> 5. Everywhere is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder".
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to Colorado where...
>
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
>
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home,
> so he stops at the day care center.
>
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
>
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to the Nebraska where...
>
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
>
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
>
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
>
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at.
>
> OR
>
> FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...
>
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
>
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
>
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist,
> proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
>
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
>
> 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
>

THUNDERBOLT

I wll be doing a copy/paste/forward to my crew...
Thank you.
BTW. sorry, I missed your last show at Mount Rushmore.
regards,
ThunderBolt