Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

God the Parent

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam asked.
"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.
"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"
"No way!"
"Where?"
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno," Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"DID so!"
"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.

As an aside:

Joan of Arc was born on this day (January 6th.) in 1412. (Poor girl only lived to be 19 years old)

Kachina

Oh my God!!! That explains everything!! Love it. Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh.

wuzblynd Loc: thomson georgia

Must be right!!! My oldest boy is 29 and he has had one and only one nickname his whole life, and that is , Ironhead.

maureenthannon

Reminds me, when I hear people gripingabout their kids always fighting, I'll tell them, at least lour kids sibling rivalry isn't as bad as Cain and Abel, our kids just fight, they don't actually kill each other.

Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

The Marriage of Miss Bad Breath and Mr. Smelly Feet

A young couple, madly in love, decided to get married. But as the wedding day neared, both grew increasingly nervous over secret problems they had never shared with anyone. Privately, the groom-to-be approached his minister. “I’m really concerned about this marriage,” the young man said. “Don’t you love her?” the pastor asked in surprise. “Of course,” the groom said. “But I have unbelievably smelly feet—and I’m afraid my fiancée won’t be able to stand them.” “Oh, is that all?” the pastor replied. “Look, all you need to do is wash your feet twice a day and wear socks all the time.” The groom thought it over and decided it just might work. Meanwhile, the nervous bride had privately approached the minister’s wife. “I’m so worried,” she sobbed. “I have really bad breath when I wake up each day!” “Oh, dear,” the pastor’s wife replied,” everyone has bad breath in the morning. Don’t worry about it.” “No, you don’t understand,” the bride implored. “My morning breath is so awful, my fiancé won’t even want to be near me!” “Well, I have an idea,” the pastor’s wife said soothingly. “Set your alarm just a few minutes before your husband wakes up. Run to the bathroom, brush your teeth, and gargle with mouthwash before he gets out of bed. The key is not to say anything until you’ve taken care of your breath.” The bride thought it over and decided it just might work. In time, a beautiful wedding was held and the bride and groom enjoyed the day without once worrying about their secret problems. For several months they managed to keep their issues to themselves. Then one morning, the husband awoke before dawn to find that one of his socks had come off in the night. Frantic, he searched the bed, afraid of what might happen if he didn’t find his sock soon. His bride woke with a start, and, without thinking, blurted out, “What in the world are you doing?” “Oh, dear!” the young man wailed. “You swallowed my sock!”

badbobby Loc: texas

now we lnow
dam,but God really laid it on us

Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

Ha! You think it's hot here? Just be glad he didn't get all pissed off.....