Larry the Legend Loc: Not hiding in Milton

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
"Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past five years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."

There are three kinds of mathematicians: Those who can count and those who can't.

There are two groups of people in the world; those who believe that the world can be divided into two groups of people, and those who don't.

There are two groups of people in the world: Those who can be categorized into one of two groups of people, and those who can't.

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business'," declared the first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man'."
Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?"
"Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age'!"

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.