One Political Plaza - Home of politics
Home Active Topics Newest Pictures Search Login Register
General Chit-Chat (non-political talk)
Vern's Funeral
Mar 19, 2015 08:53:15   #
mwdegutis Loc: Illinois
 
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ‘ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her. She's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says, “Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.”

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.

Reply
Mar 19, 2015 09:06:24   #
TexaCan Loc: Homeward Bound!
 
Poor Poor. Vern ! He will be missed by all. And by all, I mean many! I hope he had money for his original honey.

Reply
Mar 19, 2015 09:08:04   #
TexaCan Loc: Homeward Bound!
 
Poor Poor. Vern ! He will be missed by all. And by all, I mean many! I hope he had money for his original honey.

Reply
 
 
Mar 19, 2015 09:10:56   #
TexaCan Loc: Homeward Bound!
 
Uh. O. Delet. Delet. Delet

Reply
Mar 19, 2015 09:23:27   #
no propaganda please Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
 
mwdegutis wrote:
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ‘ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her. She's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says, “Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.”

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends tw... (show quote)



Very funny. I can imagine what SWMBos reaction would be, but them she would never take me there in the first place.

Reply
Mar 19, 2015 16:02:56   #
Armageddun Loc: The show me state
 
no propaganda please wrote:
Very funny. I can imagine what SWMBos reaction would be, but them she would never take me there in the first place.




The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to me wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found?

Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I am leaving forever!

"Ah, now, calm down, calm down, Paddy!" says his mother-in-law.
"There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy, I told you there must be a simple explanation... she never got your email.

Reply
Mar 20, 2015 11:58:29   #
bahmer
 
mwdegutis wrote:
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ‘ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her. She's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says, “Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.”

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends tw... (show quote)


Very funny

Reply
 
 
Mar 20, 2015 11:59:03   #
bahmer
 
Armageddun wrote:
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to me wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found?

Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I am leaving forever!

"Ah, now, calm down, calm down, Paddy!" says his mother-in-law.
"There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy, I told you there must be a simple explanation... she never got your email.
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to f... (show quote)


Another good one, very funny.

Reply
Mar 20, 2015 14:52:44   #
BearK Loc: TN
 
bahmer wrote:
Another good one, very funny.


Both funny :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol:

Reply
Mar 20, 2015 19:00:04   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
mwdegutis wrote:
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ‘ya doing?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her. She's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..

The cabby turns around and says, “Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.”

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends tw... (show quote)

im laughing now
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
Mar 20, 2015 19:02:08   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Armageddun wrote:
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to me wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found?

Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I am leaving forever!

"Ah, now, calm down, calm down, Paddy!" says his mother-in-law.
"There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy, I told you there must be a simple explanation... she never got your email.
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to f... (show quote)


good one army
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.
General Chit-Chat (non-political talk)
OnePoliticalPlaza.com - Forum
Copyright 2012-2024 IDF International Technologies, Inc.