Bahmer Avoids The Ducks: OPP's PeeWee, BadBobby and Bahmer die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in Heaven:...

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

OPP's PeeWee, BadBobby and Bahmer die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in Heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.

It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, PeeWee accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says:

"Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"

The next day, BadBobby steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman.

He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.

Bahmer has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.

He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

Bahmer remarks, "I wonder what I did to merit being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The sexy blonde says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

bahmer

slatten49 wrote:

OPP's PeeWee, BadBobby and Bahmer die together in ... (show quote)

I see now why you sent this PM. If you would have sent this the regular way you would be in the same boat as Papi. But don't worry I wont tell on you you are safe, but Saint Peter has a woman all set for you.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

bahmer wrote:

I see now why you sent this PM. If you would have sent this the regular way you would be in the same boat as Papi. But don't worry I wont tell on you you are safe, but Saint Peter has a woman all set for you.

She'll have to get by The Sgt. Major.

bahmer

slatten49 wrote:

She'll have to get by The Sgt. Major.

It may depend on who goes first.

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

bahmer wrote:

It may depend on who goes first.

Wow, I feel like I just made the A-Team, ha.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Peewee wrote:

Wow, I feel like I just made the A-Team, ha.

Well, I like your attitude...but, I was thinking your being with BB & Bahmer was more along the lines of The Three Stooges.

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

slatten49 wrote:

Well, I like your attitude...but, I was thinking your being with BB & Bahmer was more along the lines of The Three Stooges.

That's okay, I liked those guys also, but, the Marx brothers were pretty funny too!

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Peewee wrote:

That's okay, I liked those guys also, but, the Marx brothers were pretty funny too!

Agreed...and, throw in Abbott & Costello with 'em

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

slatten49 wrote:

Agreed...and, throw in Abbott & Costello with 'em

That's enough to start an insane asylum. Who would you recommend to play Nurse Ratchet? Rosie would be typecasting.

slatten49 Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Peewee wrote:

That's enough to start an insane asylum. Who would you recommend to play Nurse Ratchet? Rosie would be typecasting.

If you wanted an insane and/or comedic Nurse Ratchet, how 'bout Cloris Leachman...she was 'Frau Blucher' from 'Young Frankenstein'

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

slatten49 wrote:

If you wanted an insane and/or comedic Nurse Ratchet, how 'bout Cloris Leachman...she was 'Frau Blucher' from 'Young Frankenstein'

Perfect! Good job Slats! Don't step in any duck grease with your new boots.

Floyd Brown Loc: Milwaukee WI

Peewee wrote:

Perfect! Good job Slats! Don't step in any duck grease with your new boots.

Be sure to use that duck grease on you new boots if they are natural leather.
Back in the day that was the best treatment for leather boots.
We used goose grease or deer tallow.

Get them wet, wear them until they dry out & they will be he best fitting boots ever.

Peewee Loc: San Antonio, TX

Floyd Brown wrote:

Be sure to use that duck grease on you new boots if they are natural leather.
Back in the day that was the best treatment for leather boots.
We used goose grease or deer tallow.

Get them wet, wear them until they dry out & they will be he best fitting boots ever.

Floyd, I'm pretty sure that is one of those "cowboy code" secrets your not suppose to reveal. It's true but Neatsfoot oil works just as well. The water allows the leather to stretch and the grease/tallow/oil keeps the leather from cracking as they dry to be form fitting. Just guessing but I think you just lost your chance of ever being in the Cowboy Hall of Fame.

bahmer

Peewee wrote:

Floyd, I'm pretty sure that is one of those "... (show quote)

I never could figure it all out. Were you supposed to get the boots wet and then wear them until they form fit your feet and then oil them. Or wear you supposed to oil them and then get them wet and wear them. I always just bought the boots and wore them.

Floyd Brown Loc: Milwaukee WI

bahmer wrote:

I never could figure it all out. Were you supposed to get the boots wet and then wear them until they form fit your feet and then oil them. Or wear you supposed to oil them and then get them wet and wear them. I always just bought the boots and wore them.

What ever works for you.
I have not had goose grease or deer tallow in a long time.
I think I have some mink oil in a paste form that I have used.

One thing is to have foot wear that is comfortable.
How they look is less important.