Squiddiddler Loc: Phoenix

SCOTTISH WEDDING

At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

SEX
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore .....
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

New Book
A man goes into Chapters bookstore and asks the young lady assistant,
"Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?"
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copy..."
---------------------------------------------------------------

Poor Lance Armstrong -

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong,

especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour deFrance races while on drugs.

When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frig’n bike!
---------------------------------------------------------------------


Drive By

A guy broke into my apartment last week.

He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.

Now he drives by and changes the channels.

Sick Bastard!!
------------------------------------------------------


SCAM

Just got scammed out of $25.

Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled"My Favorite 18 Holes".

Turns out it's about golf.

Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
-------------------------------------------------------------

So True

Before sex, you help each other get naked.After sex, you only dress yourself.

The Moral of the story:In life, no one helps you once you've been screwed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Pregnant Prostitute

Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"

For god sakes ,if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EASYJET

Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.

The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"

Paddy replies I don't know! It's your bloody plane.

GmanTerry

I enjoyed them all. Thanks.



Semper Fi

proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA

Thank you,Squidd...That was great!!!

PoppaGringo Loc: Muslim City, Mexifornia, B.R.

Loved them all.

crazylibertarian Loc: Florida by way of New York & Rhode Island

All good ones!

4430 Loc: Little Egypt ** Southern Illinory

I'll second that !

badbobby Loc: texas

thanks squid
good laughter

bahmer

They were all funny thanks.