badbobby Loc: texas

Irish Confession
I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. When the priest came in, I said to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be." He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."

Some Light Dublin Traffic Humor
A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins." shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off." She then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?"



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Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they decide to take them to a police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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Mick goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy", he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
Mick says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
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An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says: "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
The farmer does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy" he replies.
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Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What the hell you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself", Paddy replies.
"It should be around your neck", says the Guard.
"I know", says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."
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An answer I can understand.....
An American tourist asks an Irishman: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies: "If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat."
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Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, 'Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?'
'No,' said himself, 'but I'm gettin' closer all the time.'
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Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
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My Mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life; and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?

Big dog

I love them all, and I'm Irish !!

Justsss Loc: Wisconsin

bahmer

They were all great thanks.

boatbob2

I love them all,AND,Im Irish too !!!!!!!!

goofball Loc: timbucktoo

Your a racist!😯😵😵👺 O well! 😂😂

badbobby Loc: texas

thanks goof

GmanTerry

Thank goodness. Ethnic jokes that didn't offend the ethnic source. I loved the jokes. I thought they were all terrific and after saying that, I love Irish people. When I was young, we lived in an Italian neighborhood. My best friend was Italian and his mom was a great cook. I ate over at his house frequently. His father was first generation American and hated Italian jokes. However my buddy and I exchanged funny Italian jokes daily. I alway thought that the reason was that my buddy was an American first, not Italian first like his father. Just an observation.

Semper Fi

Mike Easterday

Sounds right to me!😄😄😄

bggamers Loc: georgia