Breaking News...Muslim Suicide Bombers going on Strike!
Oct 22, 2017 14:02:10 #
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings, has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.OM) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote.
General Secretary Abdullah Aloud Bhang told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Aisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings can be attributed to Rosie O'Donnell and Maxine Waters; many more Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.
The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings, has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.OM) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote.
General Secretary Abdullah Aloud Bhang told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Aisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.
According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings can be attributed to Rosie O'Donnell and Maxine Waters; many more Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.
Oct 22, 2017 14:51:59 #
ldsuttonjr wrote:
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin... (show quote)
Oh brother! It's just weird and insane enough to make you stop and think for at least a minute or two it might be true. It's a great read any way
Oct 22, 2017 15:57:53 #
no propaganda please
Loc: moon orbiting the third rock from the sun
ldsuttonjr wrote:
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin... (show quote)
don't worry they are not going to run out of virgins, since every night they revirginize the ones they have used for the day, particularly the boy virgins which are the Muslim men's favorites.
Oct 23, 2017 03:54:59 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.