permafrost Loc: Minnesota

Inspired by the Oximorons posted by Theophilus I wanted to post these, once I found the name, I found this little page..


a bit of amusment after all the stewing and fussing..



First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.

(Winston Churchill loved them).

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify... " I answered " a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You are never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Sadly this is true!!! So.....

kankune Loc: Iowa

Hey Perm....thx so much for the light heartedness. Well needed on here. I loved em. Gonna keep them. : )

rjoeholl

Here's one for ya; Old age is a bitch.....thankfully it doesn't last too long.

lpnmajor Loc: Arkansas

Here's mine: Life is impermanent, death almost always is, so the phrase "live your life to the fullest" is rather redundant...........what ELSE can you do with it? No one says die your death to the fullest.

permafrost Loc: Minnesota

thanks all for reading this... Yes, old age is a bitch, but I hate to see it end..

badbobby Loc: texas

perm---all gooduns
I'll add just one
"I'm gonna live forever---or die tryin

permafrost Loc: Minnesota

That one i truly like...

and hits the spot...

Louie27 Loc: Peoria, AZ

Thanks for the sayings. It seems to me, many of them are happening today. Especially # 17. I now know of one person, I know personally, that is older than me. My youngest daughter went to Sedona and brought back a shirt for me, that was colored with the red dirt of the area, which said older than dirt in large lettering, on the back of the shirt. She did this because I always say I'm older than dirt.

permafrost Loc: Minnesota

LOL.... I love that older then dirt stuff.... Long ago in the Viking age of Bud Grant, we had a number of players who were areound for very long times.. Fans said the players were older then dirt..

Then my good buddy and his wife found that one of them had the same birthday/age as I did.. So for years, I was also older then dirt....

Yes, a fun list...