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Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods ---
Sep 2, 2017 02:37:32   #
RETW Loc: Washington
 
Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods ---



An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers !

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look .... . . And saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... And then ..... He tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ………

Reaching towards him with its left paw ..... And raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,




'Oh my God!'


Time Stopped ...

The bear froze ......

The forest was silent ....


A bright light shone upon the man,


And a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years,

You teach others I don't exist

And even credit creation to cosmic accident ........

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ....

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...

But perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"



... A pause ...



"Very well," said the voice ...



The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ....

The bear dropped his right arm ...

Brought both paws together ...

Bowed his head & spoke...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.


Amen."


RETW


Reply
Sep 2, 2017 03:19:44   #
proud republican Loc: RED CALIFORNIA
 
RETW wrote:
Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods ---



An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers !

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look .... . . And saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... And then ..... He tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ………

Reaching towards him with its left paw ..... And raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,




'Oh my God!'


Time Stopped ...

The bear froze ......

The forest was silent ....


A bright light shone upon the man,


And a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years,

You teach others I don't exist

And even credit creation to cosmic accident ........

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ....

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...

But perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"



... A pause ...



"Very well," said the voice ...



The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ....

The bear dropped his right arm ...

Brought both paws together ...

Bowed his head & spoke...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.


Amen."


RETW

Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods --- br br ... (show quote)



Reply
Sep 2, 2017 04:04:03   #
PeterS
 
RETW wrote:
Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods ---



An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers !

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look .... . . And saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... And then ..... He tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ………

Reaching towards him with its left paw ..... And raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,




'Oh my God!'


Time Stopped ...

The bear froze ......

The forest was silent ....


A bright light shone upon the man,


And a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years,

You teach others I don't exist

And even credit creation to cosmic accident ........

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ....

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...

But perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"



... A pause ...



"Very well," said the voice ...



The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ....

The bear dropped his right arm ...

Brought both paws together ...

Bowed his head & spoke...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.


Amen."


RETW

Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods --- br br ... (show quote)

PTL and pass the beans...

Reply
 
 
Sep 2, 2017 06:24:39   #
teabo82
 
GOOD STORY because this generation is just that dumb thank you for that story

Reply
Sep 3, 2017 11:28:46   #
bahmer
 
RETW wrote:
Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods ---



An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers !

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look .... . . And saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... And then ..... He tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ………

Reaching towards him with its left paw ..... And raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,




'Oh my God!'


Time Stopped ...

The bear froze ......

The forest was silent ....


A bright light shone upon the man,


And a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years,

You teach others I don't exist

And even credit creation to cosmic accident ........

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ....

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...

But perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"



... A pause ...



"Very well," said the voice ...



The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ....

The bear dropped his right arm ...

Brought both paws together ...

Bowed his head & spoke...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.


Amen."


RETW

Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods --- br br ... (show quote)


Change Atheist to Raylan Wolfe and you would have a great story.

Reply
Sep 3, 2017 11:48:49   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
RETW wrote:
Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods ---



An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!

'What powerful rivers !

'What beautiful animals!

He said to himself.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look .... . . And saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could along the path.

He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him ....

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... And then ..... He tripped and fell.

Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ………

Reaching towards him with its left paw ..... And raising the right paw to strike ...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,




'Oh my God!'


Time Stopped ...

The bear froze ......

The forest was silent ....


A bright light shone upon the man,


And a voice came out of the sky ...

"You deny my existence for all these years,

You teach others I don't exist

And even credit creation to cosmic accident ........

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?"

"Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light ....

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ...

But perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"



... A pause ...



"Very well," said the voice ...



The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed ....

The bear dropped his right arm ...

Brought both paws together ...

Bowed his head & spoke...

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.


Amen."


RETW

Subject: Atheist Walking in the Woods --- br br ... (show quote)


bears are always ready to accept hand outs


Reply
Sep 3, 2017 14:02:16   #
RETW Loc: Washington
 
bahmer wrote:
Change Atheist to Raylan Wolfe and you would have a great story.



There are a few more on 1PP that need that also. If that were to happen, we would have a hell of a lot of very fat
bears running around.








RETW

Reply
 
 
Sep 3, 2017 14:16:06   #
bahmer
 
RETW wrote:
There are a few more on 1PP that need that also. If that were to happen, we would have a hell of a lot of very fat
bears running around.








RETW
There are a few more on 1PP that need tha... (show quote)


Very true.



Reply
Sep 3, 2017 21:28:15   #
goofball Loc: timbucktoo
 
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Reply
Sep 5, 2017 14:30:16   #
alabuck Loc: Tennessee
 
bahmer wrote:
Change Atheist to Raylan Wolfe and you would have a great story.


-------

"Let him, who is without sin, cast the first stone."

"The greatest commandment is to love your God with all of your heart, mind and soul. And the second is just as important as the first, is to love your neighbor as yourself."

I can think of several conservatives on here whose name could be used in place of "atheist," too. Even the conservatives who claim to be atheists.

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