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The Pumpkin...
Aug 18, 2017 11:34:28   #
Don G. Dinsdale Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
 
The Pumpkin

Recently, a Cascade County female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Cascade County (Montana) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around," he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Deputy Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just having his way with this pumpkin."

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence...

"I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already!?!"

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10 and sent on his way.

Now That's Funny And Fast Thinking On His Part Being Drunk And All,
Must Have Been a Timeshare Salesman, ha... Don D.😋

Reply
Aug 18, 2017 12:26:45   #
GmanTerry
 
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
The Pumpkin

Recently, a Cascade County female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Cascade County (Montana) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around," he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Deputy Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just having his way with this pumpkin."

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence...

"I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already!?!"

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10 and sent on his way.

Now That's Funny And Fast Thinking On His Part Being Drunk And All,
Must Have Been a Timeshare Salesman, ha... Don D.😋
The Pumpkin br br Recently, a Cascade County fema... (show quote)


That's destined to become a classic, Don.


Semper Fi

Reply
Aug 19, 2017 11:08:02   #
bahmer
 
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
The Pumpkin

Recently, a Cascade County female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Cascade County (Montana) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around," he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Deputy Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just having his way with this pumpkin."

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence...

"I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already!?!"

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10 and sent on his way.

Now That's Funny And Fast Thinking On His Part Being Drunk And All,
Must Have Been a Timeshare Salesman, ha... Don D.😋
The Pumpkin br br Recently, a Cascade County fema... (show quote)





Reply
 
 
Aug 19, 2017 11:19:51   #
badbobby Loc: texas
 
Don G. Dinsdale wrote:
The Pumpkin

Recently, a Cascade County female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Cascade County (Montana) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around," he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Deputy Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just having his way with this pumpkin."

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence...

"I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already!?!"

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10 and sent on his way.

Now That's Funny And Fast Thinking On His Part Being Drunk And All,
Must Have Been a Timeshare Salesman, ha... Don D.😋
The Pumpkin br br Recently, a Cascade County fema... (show quote)


kinda sick Don
but
yeah,it was funny

Reply
Aug 19, 2017 11:38:28   #
Don G. Dinsdale Loc: El Cajon, CA (San Diego County)
 
Just Like Me, ha... Don D.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
badbobby wrote:
kinda sick Don
but
yeah,it was funny

Reply
Aug 19, 2017 22:44:34   #
goofball Loc: timbucktoo
 
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😐

Reply
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