Mr Bombastic

We all studied mathematics in school, but much of what we learned is not applicable to our day-to-day lives. There is, however, a whole other field of mathematics that we were not taught – the math of life. These are the prime equations and proofs that anyone should know, as they apply to life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + Smart woman = Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + Smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy

SHOPPING PROOFS
A man will pay $2 - for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 - for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



General Formulas:

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man - you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman - you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Image courtesy of Depositphotos
Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change - but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change - but she does.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
(Then she worries about the husband...)
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who finds such a man.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.