a few laughs: Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.

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a few laughs

Apr 21, 2017 20:17:09 #

badbobby Loc: texas

Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.
We would explore the woods nearby,and pick wild berries from the bushes.We had ponies to ride,and we had races."
Grandson to granpa---"gee Gramps,I wish i had got to know you a little sooner'

Three seniors are out for a stroll.
one remarks"It's windy"
Another replies "No,it's Thursday"
the third senior says "I am too,lets go get a beer'

An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to a specialist.
The specialist fitted him with hearing aids that brought his hearing back to normal.He told the old man"Come back in a week for adjustments.'
When he returned ,no adjustments were needed,everything was perfect.
The specialist said"your family must be delighted that you can hear everything now"
The old man replied"I haven't told them.I just sit quietly and listen to everything they say.
I've changed my will three times now"

Hospital rules state that patients checking out must use wheel chairs
One day a newly graduated nurses assistant came into a room to find an elderly man,fully dressed,sitting in the chair beside the bed,with luggage packed,ready to go.
When presented with the wheel chair,he laughed and said "i am perfectly capable to walk,young lady'.But the young lady quoted the hospital rules and insisted he sit in the wheel chair.
so he relented and sat down in the wheel chair.
The assistant rolled him out of the room,into an elevator and through the lobby to the outer doors.
"IS your wife picking you up sir"she asked
The old man said"No maa'm,It takes her quite a while to get ready to go,so she is still up in her bathroom,taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed"

A couple in their nineties were having short term memory lapses.
they consulted a doctor who examined them and told them that physically they were in fine shape for their age. But that maybe they should write things down,since they were forgetting things.
that evening they were in their living room watching TV.
The old man got out of his chair and said"I'm going to the kitchen dear,can i get you anything?"
His wife said"Well yes dear,you can get me a dish of vanilla ice cream.Maybe you ought to write that down,so you won't forget'
"Naw',said The old man"i can remember that.Was there any thing else?"
His wife said"well,yes,I'd like some strawberries on that Ice cream.why don't you write that down,so you won't forget"/
"Aw",I can remember that"he replied."now was there anything else you wanted dear?"
She replied"now that I think of it ,I'd like some chocolate syrup over that ice cream and straw berries.Now honey,that'

s an awful lot to remember,you should write that down
But the old man just laughed and went into the kitchen.
half an hour later he returned and gave her a plate of scrambled eggs
She stared at the scrambled eggs for a minute and said"You old fool,I told you to write everything down!You forgot my toast!!!"

On an overseas flight ,a lawyer sat beside an old man.
The lawyer asked the old man if he would like to play a game,just to pass the time.
But the old man was tired and told the lawyer that he was very tired and just wanted to sleep
But the lawyer insisted,saying the game was lots of fun."here's how it works.I ask you a question and if you cant answer correctly you give me a dollar.
Then it's your turn to ask me a question and if I can't answer correctly,I give you twenty dollars'
The old man figured if he played the game once,then he could get some sleep,so he said okay.
The lawyer then asked him"how far apart is our earth and the planet Mars?"
The old man admitted he didn't know and handed the lawyer a dollar bill.
Then he asked"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"?
The lawyer was stumped and had no answer.So he gave the old man twenty dollars.
The lawyer was upset,and finally asked the old man"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"??
The old man handed the lawyer a dollar,turned his back on him and went to sleep.
warning to you youngsters--Don't mess with old folks

The Senility Prayer

God grant me senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune to
run into the ones I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference

Apr 21, 2017 20:47:16 #

funguy1949

badbobby wrote: